Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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9. Disengaged (Shrinking, S01E06)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • Dina? (The Last of Us, S01E06)
  • Teenagers watching The Goodbye Girl (The Last of Us, S01E06)
  • ♫: EDM version of "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" (Abbott Elementary, S02E16)
  • "Ooh. This seminar sounds awesome. It's called 'White Teacher, Black School.'"
    "Uh, yeah, I'm good on that. I already did four years of Black student, white school. Went to Penn, so…" (Abbott Elementary, S02E16)
  • "Where you think you're going, Janet Whack-son?" (Abbott Elementary, S02E16)
  • Sarcastic photographer (Abbott Elementary, S02E16)
  • "Need to meet up."
    "What for?"
    "Nigga…" (Snowfall, S06E01)
  • "And in that moment, I knew. Fuck Teddy, fuck the CIA, and fuck the government that supported them. I was gonna do whatever it would take to not only destroy him, but to make sure that he knew it was me, the inconsequential nigga, who did it." (Snowfall, S06E01)
  • "We destroy ourselves for them." (Snowfall, S06E02)
  • Hamburger phone (Snowfall, S06E02)
  • "I tried to give you a legacy, something more than a subwoofer and a weight bench." (Snowfall, S06E02)
  • Phil Tippett (Poker Face, S01E08)
  • Maury paternity test (Poker Face, S01E08)
  • "Whoever you are, come out, come out. I can smell your Hot Pockets." (Poker Face, S01E08)
  • "Horse, who are you?" (Poker Face, S01E08)
  • "Is that one of those sad 'you're fired' boxes?"
    "Yeah. You know, 40 years, man. She couldn't even look me in the eye when she did it."
    "Shit, man. I'm sorry, that's…"
    "I was sick of that basement, and I guess she was a murderer, so…time was right." (Poker Face, S01E08)
  • RT: "Besides inspiring the milieu of the ep, Phil and his team designed and created the Orpheus Syndrome creatures and did the stop motion sequences at the end. Also some of the close-ups of Nolte's hands on the creatures are actually Phil's" (Poker Face, S01E08)
  • "I can't drop everything I'm doing just because Narco Polo's back from his world travels." (BMF, S02E07)
  • ♫: The Jackson 5 – "I'll Be There" (BMF, S02E07)
  • "How do you know Mr. Bradway? Is it, uh, Hardier Boys or OC: The Return?" (Party Down, S03E01)
  • "People just don't get poetic rock lyrics."
    "Mm."
    "You know? And that is sadly why The Doors never caught on." (Party Down, S03E01)
  • "Manputer? Guyote?" (Party Down, S03E01)

Feelings Yakuza

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Paramount exec Chris McCarthy announced straight-to-series orders for two Dexter spinoffs and four offshoots of Billions.

Other franchises built around existing Showtime originals – like The Chi – are also said to be in the works, as McCarthy takes a page from the Yellowstone playbook has made the Taylor Sheridan western into a multiple-show hit for Paramount+. [source]

McCarthy's franchise frenzy is somewhat understandable when you remember how Paramount had to dig for intellectual property when it owned theme parks.

Days of Thunder kart racing.

Drop Zone drop tower.

The Italian Job roller coaster.

Conversely, Lionsgate's 2023 film slate – John Wick 4, The Expendables 4, Saw X, a Hunger Games prequel – makes you wonder about how it intends to grow its theme park business.

A Now You See Me roller coaster? Sure.

A Gods of Egypt coaster, though?

"The Escape Plan Zone" – Super Nintendo World it ain't.

Even Warner Bros. was outchea with an Eraser roller coaster, a Blazing Saddles Frisbee ride, and a Police Academy stunt show.

Proudly dreaming of genitals

on

Reading that Subway is exploring a sale led me to discover that it's a privately held company?!

The world's second largest fast food restaurant chain…

Who needs a sandwich brand?

Not Restaurant Brands International Inc., which owns Burger King, Popeyes, Tim Hortons, and Firehouse Subs.

Not JAB Holding Company, which owns Einstein Bros./Noah's Bagels, Krispy Kreme, Peet's Coffee, Pret A Manger, and Panera Bread.

Not Inspire Brands Inc., which owns Arby's, Baskin-Robbins, Buffalo Wild Wings, Dunkin', Sonic Drive-In, and Jimmy John's.

That leaves…Yum! Brands? Combination Pizza Hut and Subway?


KFC, Taco Bell, Subway, Pizza Hut, The Habit Burger Grill

Would McDonald's, the world's largest fast food restaurant chain, be interested?

Chipotle: The Definitive Oral History » The McDonald's Era (1998-2005)

Bless their hearts, McDonald's had a lot of suggestions, and we were always polite about it. They really wanted us to do drive-throughs. They really wanted us to do breakfast. But we just really didn't do any of that.

One of the McDonald's guys thought we should call it "Chipotle Fresh Mexican Grill," because the term "fresh" was such a great term.

Breakfast – check. "Fresh" – check. Drive-throughs, though…

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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8. Dirt McGirt vs. Robot Don Cornelius (Wu-Tang: An American Saga, S03E03)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "I took a series of catastrophe modules in my principal training. I'm also prepared for tidal waves, Facebook crashing – that's for the older teachers – and a lice outbreak…for the white teachers." (Abbott Elementary, S02E15)
  • "We'll just see how he deals with my blue penis!" (South Park, S26E02)


(South Park, S26E02)

  • "Man, karma's like some kind of…consequence."
    "I agree. Karma is like a consequence." (Poker Face, S01E07)
  • Jalen Rose (BMF, S02E06)

UNSEEN FR34KY HOURS

on

I'm fascinated by Yo! Egg's "world's first plant-based poached egg."

Like, how do you cook it? I assume it's sold fully formed. Do you still poach it? Is the yolk solid until heated? If not, can it solidify when heated? What is the market for poached eggs?

Coming soon!
The Sunny One
The world's first plant-based fried egg

Okay, the sunny egg is a substance that fries like egg white topped with a liquid yolk pod, so the poached egg must be the same yolk pod encased.

And the poached egg casing must be a different egg white substance, because otherwise, Yo! Egg could just sell artificial raw eggs.

Coming soon!
The Boiled One
Unlike anything you've seen before

I imagine this is the poached egg casing with a yolk truffle inside.

Idea: Plant-based dog meat.

Sour Cream Citizen

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Metal and Beer.


Jazz and R&B and Funk and Wine.


Emo and Pop Punk and Cocktails and Grilled Meat.

Nic Adler, a restaurateur who doubles as Goldenvoice's vice president of festivals, made Forever Pie his love letter to the Balistyx hip-hop parties he used to throw as an 18-year-old with Married with Children actor David Faustino. [source]

'90s Hip-Hop and Vegan Pizza.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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7. Fun with Dick and Warren (Dick Tracy Special: Tracy Zooms In, 10 Feb)

Stray Observations

Stray Observations


(The Last of Us, S01E04)

  • "He's got a kid in Jacob's class, and he's handsome. He looks like men do before they have kids." (Abbott Elementary, S02E14)
  • "If you think about it, underpaying a white teacher to teach Black history is almost reparation." (Abbott Elementary, S02E14)
  • "I never liked school. Got in the way of college." (Abbott Elementary, S02E14)
  • "What's wrong? You don't like it?"
    "Um, no, I-I just… I think you forgot to put the gift in the gift bag, so…"
    "No, the gift is the bag."
    "Oh! Oh, my God. It's so shiny, I thought it was a shopping bag. But this is… This is to put stuff in."
    "Yeah. Classic bag technology." (Abbott Elementary, S02E14)
  • "Created by Matt Stone" (South Park, S26E01)
  • "Assistant to Mr. Stone: Trey Parker" (South Park, S26E01)
  • "Theater people are so strong." (Poker Face, S01E06)
  • "Who is pumped for the best VD ever? I mean, ugh, you know what I meant." (Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine's Day Special, 09 Feb)
  • "I'm on all the dating apps, but haven't swiped right once. I can't get past the profiles. Does no one understand correct grammar, dangling modifiers, sentence fragments, using the word 'anyways' as a transition… It's 'anyway'! There's no 'S'! And as you know, nothing turns me off more than reckless disregard for language." (Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine's Day Special, 09 Feb)
  • Etrigan on a swan boat (Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine's Day Special, 09 Feb)
  • "My place or yours?"
    "Hmm… Let's do yours. My place is a pit." (Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine's Day Special, 09 Feb)
  • "But I suppose we can still love each other and never touch. It is the way of the American marriage." (Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine's Day Special, 09 Feb)
  • "I'll be reading selected works of Lord Byron, the Brett Goldstein of the 19th century." (Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine's Day Special, 09 Feb)
  • "Brett Goldstein, you deserve someone who makes you feel like you've been fucked by lightning." (Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine's Day Special, 09 Feb)
  • "I will make BAFTA-winning love to you, Brett Goldstein!" (Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine's Day Special, 09 Feb)
  • "Okay. Bane has to have listed some turnoffs on his dating profile. Favorite TV shows: The later seasons of The Office?"
    "What the fuck? What a psycho. If he liked the Dexter series finale, I'm, like, through with him." (Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine's Day Special, 09 Feb)
  • "You will be bent into positions you did not know possible, Brett Goldstein." (Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine's Day Special, 09 Feb)
  • "Hey, quick question. Can you grow to a giant-sized version of Brett Goldstein, then start shouting some of Bane's turnoffs at him so he stops trying to fuck you?"
    "First of all, not a quick question." (Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine's Day Special, 09 Feb)
  • "If Ian Somer-halder could continue filming season five of Vampire Diaries after his breakup with Ni-na Dobrev, you can do this." (Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine's Day Special, 09 Feb)
  • "I mean, what is horny, if not love persevering?" (Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine's Day Special, 09 Feb)
  • "Anyways, I digress."
    "It's 'anyway.' It's not 'anyways.'"
    "It is? 'Anyways' sounds right to a boy born and raised in salt-of-the-earth Sutton, United Kingdom. That really begs the question: Why isn't it 'anyways'?"
    "No. No, no. God, that's not the correct usage of 'begs the question.' You're not supposed to just use it in place of 'raises the question.' It is to be used only to identify flawed premises, as in, 'The American public's acceptance of 'anyways' because 'everyone does it already' really begs the fucking question." (Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine's Day Special, 09 Feb)
  • Harrison Ford singing ♫: Sugar Ray – "Every Morning" (Shrinking, S01E04)
  • "This is the worst day of my life. You know, it used to be shitting my pants in a Whole Foods, and I mean it went everywhere, okay? But now this is it." (Shrinking, S01E04)

Darkness Retreat

on

iMordecai?

When Mordecai, a Holocaust survivor, is given a new iPhone, an unexpected series of events upends his world. [source]

"u up?"
"new phone who dis?"

Wanda and Jamal: Miami.

Erinem is an American rapper from Tyler, Texas, but musically influenced by Detroit hip-hop.

Erinem?

Born Erin Emily Wheeler, Erinem gets her artist name from a combination of her first and middle name.

eWheel.

Erinem is often asked if her artist name has any relationship to Eminem. She states that the similarity between her name and Eminem's is a product of coincidence, not design.

She's influenced by Detroit hip-hop, but her name is a coincidence?

She also had the privilege of working with D12's Bizarre.

She worked with D12's Bizarre, but her name is a coincidence.

Her previous EP, Y.B.A.L.A., received rave reviews.

Clearly, nomenclature is not one of her strengths.

Erinem is a member of American Mensa; paradoxically, after failing out of ninth grade, she went on to graduate from The New School, receiving an MFA. [source]

Erewhon.

Twink Death

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Florida and Ohio, because of course.

You're So Father Period

on

And a critical piece of the sponsorship puzzle for the WWE in recent years has been brand integrations. At the Royal Rumble last week, there was a "Mountain Dew Pitch Black Match" which took place in (near) darkness, and Stimmel suggests that there will be "surprises" at WrestleMania as well, specifically calling out a new sponsor, Cinnamon Toast Crunch. [source]

A Cinnamon Toast Crunch match?