Adam Riff™

37. Michael Sheen's rousing speech to Wales' football team (A League of Their Own, S17E04)

Stray Observations

• "And how have you served the realm of late, Lady Redwyne, by eating cake?" (House of the Dragon, S01E03)
• "What role have you played in his council, uncle, other than Master of Complaints?" (House of the Dragon, S01E03)
• "Nobody quits Twitter." (Rick and Morty, S06E01)
• "This is how we go. Bear it with grace. Spinal cord: Robitussin as a base, then surprise me." (Rick and Morty, S06E01)
• "You think the concept of 'family' matters to me? I'm not even your Rick!"
  "I'm Denial Rick!" (Rick and Morty, S06E01)
• "Fatality… Jerry wins!" (Rick and Morty, S06E01)
• "But tell me, Mahatma, when was the first time you tried Blue Apron?" (What We Do in the Shadows, S04E10)
• </What We Do in the Shadows, S04>
• Marc Maron (Reservation Dogs, S02E07)
• "I just lost my mind. I literally lost my mind. And I chased those midgets out of my house." (Reservation Dogs, S02E07)
• "What kind of dude hangs out with underage boys all day and night? 'Billie Jean'-ass dude, K-PAX, House of Cards-looking ass, God." (Reservation Dogs, S02E07)
• "And what is your name, young lady?"
  "Madisynn, with two N's, one Y, but it's not where you think." (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E04)
• Wong watching The Sopranos (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E04)
• "I'm having an issue with a 'magician.' Notice how I used the word 'magician' in quotes."
  "I did, yes."
  "It's because he's not an actual magician." (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E04)
• "He's now performing cheap human tricks here in Los Angeles at the 'Mystic Castle.' Notice how I…"
  "Not mystic. Not a castle. Got it." (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E04)
• Wong watching This Is Us (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E04)
• Wong's favourite drink is a gin and tonic (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E04)
• "Teens, right? Oh, right. You died when I was eight." (Harley Quinn, S03E09)
• "Extra reading tonight. On Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. Dissect the Rosenbergs' timeline and see how it lines up with the show The Americans." (Little Demon, S01E04)
• "So what's the plan? Do I pull Chrissy aside and we do a heart-to-heart about how, popular or not, true friends will—"
  "No, no. Get up on stage and read this speech I wrote."
  "'Friends, as the new popular kid, I must warn you about the scourge that is Chrissy Feinberg. Her impression of Charles Barkley is the most racist thing I've ever seen'? Wait, wait, no. You want to cancel your own daughter?" (Little Demon, S01E04)
• "Armadillo murderer!"
  "Not cool!"
  "Wait, no, no, no. I can explain. That armadillo did a Charles Barkley impression, and it's the most racist thing I've ever seen." (Little Demon, S01E04)

35. HuntiNFTon Beach (Chad and JT Go Deep, S01E03)

Honourable Mention

• Small Dong Art Show (Chad and JT Go Deep, S01E04)

Stray Observations

• "You cannot just kill white people anymore, bro. We aren't there yet." (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E10)
• "Alexa, play Africa."
  [Africa music playing] (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E10)
• "Spilling milk is a mistake, not being a drug mule."
  "Man, drug mule? More like a drug veal." (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E10)
• "Your baby hairs can't save you. Your titties can't save you. Your hairline can't save you, nigga. The waves can't save you." (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E10)
• "What the fuck? Is that her daughter?" (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E10)
• "Thank you, sweetie, thank… Are you, are you okay? Are you sure?" (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E10)
• "I knew she was white. Look at them. He about to call his slave." (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E10)
• "Got it, got it."
  [alarm stops]
  "9-8-7-0. Latrell Sprewell's birthday." (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E10)
• </Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02>
• "The gods have yet to make a man who lacks the patience for absolute power." (House of the Dragon, S01E01)
• Viserys cutting himself on the Iron Throne (House of the Dragon, S01E01)
• "I will not be the one-hit wonder of true crime podcasts, Poppy. I won't. I will not be…podcast Nickelback." (Only Murders in the Building, S02E10)
• </Only Murders in the Building, S02>
• "It might be made out of witch skin and has an asshole on it, but I look fantastic wearing it." (What We Do in the Shadows, S04E08)
• "Yeah, I'm an expert at landscaping. Meanwhile, my brother likes to spend his time manscaping. Boom!"
  [laughter]
  "I don't know what that means, but fuck Toby, right?" (What We Do in the Shadows, S04E08)
• "Uh, check out this bar. What? This is an entertainer's dream. Nandor, I want you to picture this right now, okay? The guys are over. They're hanging out."
  "Okay, I am picturing it."
  "Mm-hmm."
  "I could be over here at the bar counter. And then one of the guys would come right behind me and then [grunting]"
  "Yeah, mm-hmm."
  "We could put a little skylight in the floor there, and look through it and see Guillermo on the toilet." (What We Do in the Shadows, S04E08)

(What We Do in the Shadows, S04E08)

• "Did I create, pitch, sell, and produce 150 episodes of Go Flip Yourself for the sole purpose of regaining access to your home here in New York City that I might take what is rightfully mine, this witch's clit of a hat? Yes." (What We Do in the Shadows, S04E08)
• "The wickedly talented Adele Dazeem." (What We Do in the Shadows, S04E08)
• "There's nothing wrong with the hat, Elvis!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S04E08)
• "Eyes down, ladies. Seminoles can impregnate you with a single stare." (Reservation Dogs, S02E05)
• "There's a hot chick over there. I'm gonna go talk to it." (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E02)

» Wolverine, Tiamut (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E02)

• Emil Blonsky wearing Crocs (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E02)
• "That fight was so many years ago, I'm a completely different person now." (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E02)

(She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E02)

• "I had to be the good son, the one who followed the rules, the one dealing with those diapers, ugh! And you know we all just shit in the water. So if you got to wear a diaper down here, you know things are messed up." (Harley Quinn, S03E07)
• "We'll always have those memories."
  "Sharks don't get Alzheimer's, baby!"
  "I mean, that's actually the only thing they got right in Deep Blue Sea. I don't get why they deviated so much from the novel." (Harley Quinn, S03E07)
• ♫: B-Bee – "1, 2, 3, 4" (Rap Sh!t, S01E07)
• ♫: Big Boss Vette – "Make Em Mad" (Rap Sh!t, S01E07)
• "It's Hennessy White, though. It might not stain." (Rap Sh!t, S01E07)
• "And Danny DeVito as Satan" (Little Demon, S01E01)
• "You got your period and made that hole in the sky, and now your dad knows where to find you, so we got to go." (Little Demon, S01E01)
• "And your vagina just became a homing device for the Prince of Darkness." (Little Demon, S01E01)
• "They say do what you love. And I love nothing more than cutting out the heart of an adolescent girl for monetary gain." (Little Demon, S01E01)
• "What's your name, by the way?"
  "Christina."
  "Course she named you that." (Little Demon, S01E01)
• "Your magic jizz ruined my life." (Little Demon, S01E01)
• "Wait a minute, when we dated, were you inside someone's corpse?"
  "And you had an unfinished dolphin tattoo. Don't be a snob." (Little Demon, S01E01)
• "I will get my revenge. You shall pay! Has anyone seen the tip of my dick?" (Little Demon, S01E01)
• "What is middle school but Sisyphus pretending to love the boulder? See you at the bottom of the hill tomorrow, new girl."
  "That was so deep."
  "My sister had Sisyphus." (Little Demon, S01E01)
• "You'll be a soulless shell of a human and become—honestly, like, a successful CEO in all likelihood." (Little Demon, S01E02)
• "Don't suppress. Be more conscious of your choices. Maybe use your powers to do some good."
  "I just wanted to make the mailman fart!" (Little Demon, S01E02)
• "Hey, let's beat him up."
  "Beat him up!"
  "Down with the mayor!"
  "I'm naked." (Little Demon, S01E02)
• "Chrissy? Chrissy? Is that you? Oh, fuck you." (Little Demon, S01E02)
• "How's it feel? Not bad, huh?"
  "I feel a little like Beyoncé, but also a little incontinent." (Little Demon, S01E02)
• "We don't want Ass-Clown to miss out." (Chad and JT Go Deep, S01E02)
• "We clean the crap out of them. There's pretty much no sign of orifice." (Chad and JT Go Deep, S01E02)
• "There's no other place on Earth where you can bang a seal and not be shunned." (Chad and JT Go Deep, S01E03)
• "JT did a mangina tourist photo shot." (Chad and JT Go Deep, S01E04)
• "Who's hyped on non-operational vehicles?" (Chad and JT Go Deep, S01E04)
• "Mr. Peanut." (Chad and JT Go Deep, S01E04)

(Chad and JT Go Deep, S01E04)

• "I'm gonna get my credit card info from my mom real quick, and then I'll..I'll pay for it." (Chad and JT Go Deep, S01E06)
• "Fuck Caesar salad!" (Chad and JT Go Deep, S01E06)
• </Chad and JT Go Deep, S01>
• "Want me to wear a hijab? Is that what this is about?"
  "I mean, a hijab is optional. What about cutting out pork first?"
  "No pastor?"
  "Or work on your titty cleavage? What, you were just complaining about butt cleavage. Titty cleavage. Titty cleav—okay! Why don't you start with the basic Muslim package first?" (Mo, S01E01)
• "God, my lower back is killing me."
  "Same here. Until I switched over to Yeezys." (Mo, S01E01)
• Toby Nwigwe (Mo, S01E01)
• ♫: Bun B – "Rudeboi [feat. Lil Wayne]" (Mo, S01E01)
• "Would you like to try some chocolate hummus?"
  "The fuck you just say to me? That's not hummus. That's a damn shit emoji." (Mo, S01E01)
• "You know, where I come from, olive theft is a huge problem, too."
  "Yeah? Where's that?"
  "Palestine."
  "Damn. That's a couple hours away."
  "No, not Palestine, Texas. Palestine. You know, land of milk and honey."
  "Uh, Israel, Manny, Israel."
  "Oh. Shalom."
  "Yeah, it's a real branding issue." (Mo, S01E02)
• "What you doing down there?"
  "ICE, man. They catch us, we're fuckеd."
  "You talking about Earl and Gene? They come every week trying to get their dicks sucked. They ain't here for you. Check it. Earl! Take your jacket off! You're scaring motherfuckers in here. What's wrong with you, man?"
  "Can you get your dick sucked here?"
  "Stop being a bitch." (Mo, S01E02)
• Bun B (Mo, S01E03)
• "How's that reggae band going, Greg?"
  "We play the blues. And it's Glen."
  "Oh, you do? I wasn't sure on which appropriation it was." (Mo, S01E04)
• "Pendeja, keep your fuckin' money. Find another minority to donate to."
  "What? Bitch, I'm Indian!"
  "You haven't been Indian since 2009."
  "You're the most Indian person I know, babe." (Mo, S01E04)
• "Imagine the life we could have together."
  "A life with kids."
  "Of course, you're Mexican, I'm Palestinian, it's biologically impossible not to have at least six kids." (Mo, S01E04)
• "Wait, if we get married our first son is gonna be named Adam?"
  "What's wrong with Adam?"
  "Nothing wrong. It's a beloved name. It's an amazing name. It's just what American Arabs call their kids when they want to sell out." (Mo, S01E05)
• "Corn tortillas need to go, though. Honestly, they're rubbery and horrible. God bless them, but they gotta be super fresh." (Mo, S01E05)
• Nephew Osama (Mo, S01E05)
• "Stop apologizing. You're not in Ottawa." (Mo, S01E05)
• "What's going on, habibi?"
  "I don't know. Just off today."
  "That's the Canadian in you. All right, you're Palestinian. If there's one thing you can do, you can throw things accurately. All right, imagine there's a tank coming at you, and there's a little guy driving the tank from a distance. You want to throw that right at him." (Mo, S01E05)
• "Listen, I don't wanna hear this from…failed skateboarder." (Mo, S01E05)
• "Bro, bro, man, you forget you're Black, man. Chill, man. Don't move, bro. They will kill you. You will die for sure. Me or him, maybe, you know?" (Mo, S01E06)
• Paul Wall (Mo, S01E07)
• "When has screaming in Arabic ever calmed anybody down?" (Mo, S01E08)
• "Good things come in threes. Come on, the Trinity, wise men, Destiny's Child, the Michelle version." (Mo, S01E08)
• </Mo, S01>