Adam Riff™

20. Blackness Tribunal (Atlanta, S03E09)

Honourable Mention

• Chet Hanks' Joker impression after singing country (Ziwe, S02E02)
• Master Chief sex scene (Halo, S01E08)

Stray Observations

• </Winning Time, S01>
• "Oh, I have deodorant. I'll get it. I have the good kind. The cancer kind!" (Barry, S03E03)

(Barry, S03E03)

• "So, you were a Marine?"
  "Mm-hmm."
  "I do CrossFit with a lot of Marines."
  "Oh, that's cool."
  "They're always telling me like, 'Dude, you totally could've been a Marine.'" (Barry, S03E03)
• "Thank you for teaching me how to right my wrongs, Mr. Manity."
  "Please, call me Hugh." (Barry, S03E03)
• "I mean, Barry is…Greek Freak of assassins, okay?" (Barry, S03E03)
• "You somehow managed to be roiling in contempt for him while drowning in Kahlua. Kahlua, in the 21st century." (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E03)
• ♫: Pastor T.L. Barrett and the Youth for Christ Choir – "Like a Ship" (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E03)
• "You know, you say things without understanding context."
  "That seems to be the strategy here. The misperception regarding communication on this planet is the illusion that it has taken place." (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E03)
• "This is you."
  "Yeah, I was blackout drunk."
  "But it is on the internet. You chose a font." (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E03)
• "If we don't, we're done by 2030."
  "2030? Where did you get that? I can't hedge chaos."
  "Chaos is why humans exist. Meteors and dinosaurs. Shifting land masses. Eclipses, plague, war. You rise and you adapt. You regrow your brains and you adapt." (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E03)
• "You need to stay in here and not come out. Unless you have a staple gun, then we'll be fine." (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E03)
• "No, no, no. No. We don't engage with birds." (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E03)
• "Quit bragging, dude."
  "That's the way it is man. Hey, you got a big dick, you wear tight pants." (We Own This City, S01E03)
• "Politics drains the souls of righteous people." (We Own This City, S01E03)
• "What is this shit right here, man? What the fuck is this bougie-ass bottle, man? What the fuck is Pat-Ron, anyway?" (We Own This City, S01E03)
• "Hello. Just to save us a lot of questions, I'm Filipino." (Mr. Mayor, S02E09)
• "I love when hot people are bad at things." (Mr. Mayor, S02E09)
• "You need to be ready to tell the mayor you quit."
  "But the man I turn to when I'm confused is the very man you want me to betray."
  "Well, good luck with that, Iago."
  "I'm the parrot from Aladdin? No, he's so mean!" (Mr. Mayor, S02E09)
• "Gru is just the latest in a long line of masters you've served. Dracula, a T-Rex, Ryan Murphy." (Mr. Mayor, S02E09)
• "Don't psychoanalyze my pot pie, all right?"
  "Okay, okay. I just meant that, you know, the last time you did this was when Carrot Top ghosted you."
  "Well, if he didn't wanna date, then he should've had an adult conversation."
  "I told you to never date a comedian and you're way out of his league."
  "Yeah, I'm out of Carrot Top's league." (Hacks, S02E01)
• ♫: Pastor T.L. Barrett and the Youth for Christ Choir – "Nobody Knows" (Hacks, S02E01)
• "I'm getting a massive ice luge." (Hacks, S02E01)
• "I lost half a million on that house because of you being a little mold bitch!" (Hacks, S02E02)
• "And the timing of that is bad 'cause, Jimmy, I want a blow job in Mallorca."
  "Oh."
  "Yeah."
  "That sounds like a great setting for that."
  "So I help you make an email disappear. You help me get my balls drained. Well, ball. You know, I'm a survivor."
  "Mm-hmm." (Hacks, S02E02)
• "'I actually think Deborah Vance is the perfect comp for your horrible boss character in Bitch PM.' Their show is about a prime minister. Who is a bitch."
  "Yeah, got that." (Hacks, S02E02)
• "It's only a 52-week course."
  "52 weeks? That's a whole year, Barbara."
  "It's actually a little bit longer, because they don't meet the weeks of Christmas and Hanukkah and Halloween."
  "They don't meet the week of Halloween?"
  "Yeah, Joyce, the woman who runs it, is really into Halloween, and she throws a great party every year, but you have to come in costume."
  "Hold on, are you friends with this person?"
  "Not anymore, because I came one year not in costume and she got really mad at me."
  "So the anger management course woman got mad?"
  "Well, you know, it's like, those who can't do, teach." (Hacks, S02E02)
• "You got a big date?"
  "I cannot disclose the size of the man I'm meeting. I signed an NDA with The NBA on TNT."
  "Oh. Well, that's how most great love stories start." (Girls5eva, S02E04)
• Business Throne (Girls5eva, S02E04)
• "Summer, if I could give you some advice from my own life… I cannot. I signed an NDA with The NBA on TNT." (Girls5eva, S02E04)
• "He's got an empty earring hole. That means secrets." (Girls5eva, S02E04)
• "I wonder how many helicopters we're gonna see."
  "If I could go back in time, I would've blasted on your mother's stomach. Fuck off, son!" (Girls5eva, S02E04)
• "Censored and I are gonna go public with our relationship."
  "Hey, that's progress."
  "In Q1 of 2023, after he wraps a reality show about finding his soulmate. It's called Love Shaq, a pun on nothing and spelled the normal way." (Girls5eva, S02E04)
• "It's called Chinatown. I read it over the weekend, actually, in one sitting."
  "Is this the one with the winning combination of incest and water rights?" (The Offer, S01E05)
• ♫: Loose Ends – "Hangin' on a String" (Atlanta, S03E09)
• Kevin Samuels (Atlanta, S03E09)
• "My friend was dating a Black guy, and he got accepted to all his colleges on a free ride."
  "What was his name?"
  "I don't remember, but regardless, he's probably gonna stay in school for one year and then go straight to the NBA. Oh, yeah. I remember now. Zion Wilson. Williams…son." (Atlanta, S03E09)
• ♫: Shai – "If I Ever Fall in Love" a capella cover (Atlanta, S03E09)
• Stankonia album cover (Atlanta, S03E09)
• "Take him to White Grady."
  "You mean Emory?" (Atlanta, S03E09)

(Atlanta, S03E09)

• "Not gonna lie, you look pretty rough here."
  "They only use the glamour shots if you get killed, so…" (Shining Girls, S01E05)

19. Wild and Crazy Kids (Outer Range, S01E08)

Honourable Mention

• Ziwe talks to parents about critical race theory (Ziwe, S01E01)
• Liam Neeson (Atlanta, S03E08)
• Bad language removed (The Pentaverate, S01E02)

Stray Observations

• Jerry Buss smacking the camera (Winning Time, S01E09)
• "Goodness sakes, you've been rich too long. You forgot how to be useful." (Winning Time, S01E09)
• "I have given my whole life to men. Fathers, husbands, sons. Has its upsides. It's hard to be out there all on your own. I fell on my ass a few times. I gave up. But you're better than me. You're a good girl, Jeanie. Don't be too good." (Winning Time, S01E08)
• Magic Johnson's memento drawer (Winning Time, S01E08)
• "They went with Adam DeVine and Josh Gad. Two short guys. Never, ever, ever going to work. Not funny." (Barry, S03E02)
• "Stop being so much fun!" (Barry, S03E02)
• "The Man Show does not age well." (Barry, S03E02)
• "We should talk about it right now because it is tomorrow."
  "But she needs to get spaghetti." (Barry, S03E02)
• "I need you to not only look inside your wallet, but your soul. It's part of the settlement."
  "To apologize? What kind of law practice is this?"
  "A law practice whose goal is to eradicate meanness."
  "Wait. That's you guys?" (Barry, S03E02)
• "Gene Cousineau? That's your acting teacher?"
  "That the guy that brought the loaded gun to the Full House audition?" (Barry, S03E02)
• "You look kind of vegan." (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E02)
• "You know, you'll be my age before that silly cunt brings you your fuck¡ng profiterole." (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E02)
• "Juzzie, bring me some asbestos in a sippy cup for this righteous Greenpeace Olympian. And a slice of dolphin on a Kaiser roll." (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E02)
• "Women are first contact for most humans because they possess an olfactory introduction. I smell no threat in your presence."
  "Okay. Just… Okay. Sit there. And please try not to smell any women." (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E02)
• "The pupa is afraid as well."
  "Don't talk about my child, please."
  "No faith! A white girl would never…" (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E02)
• "Kid, there's no dictatorship in America more solid than a beat cop on his post." (We Own This City, S01E02)
• "When things get boring and you wanna second-guess the tap, here's something Judge Quarles told me that might help: 'The bad guy has to be perfect all the time, while all we have to be is lucky one time.'" (We Own This City, S01E02)
• "A taxpayer murder rates a second detective." (We Own This City, S01E02)
• "Why you wearing those stupid fucking shoes, man? I see the fucking Jordans, I just give it a smack. Man, my bad." (We Own This City, S01E02)
• "Oh, no! It's the tall mom from Knives Out." (Mr. Mayor, S02E08)
• "Why didn't I bring Arby's for her to sign? I'm so stupid." (Mr. Mayor, S02E08)
• "If those are the wings of a dove angel, there should be four wings since it had two before it died."
  "By that logic, human angels should have four legs."
  "O-M-B. I'm Buddhist now." (Mr. Mayor, S02E08)
• "You made Z101's Dr. Fart throw up. And I don't know what you said to Sanchez Gomez."
  "Tanto que hasto los moon pies…"
  "You can't just scare people, Arpi. If devastating facts and figures made a difference, I would be eating a much different diet. You need to help people understand. It's like when you're supposed to read Hamlet for school, and your mom's like, 'It's okay. It's not that complicated. It's basically The Lion King. So you watch The Lion King, you get a D, and you graduate."
  "Fine. You're so smart. Tell me how to turn this into 'Hakuna Matata.'"
  "Okay, first of all, that song has a time jump in it, so Timon and Pumbaa had years to cheer up Simba." (Mr. Mayor, S02E08)
• "Are those LEDs? Yes! Everyone looks terrible." (Mr. Mayor, S02E08)
• "When I was 19, I was living in a car and heading for Canada because of Vietnam."
  "Oh, my God. I love Vietnam. I was, like, so tall there." (Mr. Mayor, S02E08)
• "You are the only real superpower…I ever had." (Moon Knight, S01E06)
• "Hippo!" (Moon Knight, S01E06)
• "Tell me to spare you, and I will."
  "I choose obliteration over mercy." (Moon Knight, S01E06)

(Moon Knight, S01E06)

• </Moon Knight, S01>
• "My god! I got into Raya!"
  "Really? I couldn't. The dragon has hair and doesn't sing."
  "It's the secret dating app for celebrities. [gasps] It's already suggesting. Goldbergs regular Tim Meadows." (Girls5eva, S02E01)
• "Can Max do karate on Wednesdays? Jane's son has peanut reintroduction on Tuesdays." (Girls5eva, S02E01)
• Wickie's gallbladder exploding (Girls5eva, S02E01)
• "Please, Timothy Meadows. Obviously, I wanna cut ribbons at steakhouses with you, meet your boat, inspire your niece to go into fashion. I wanna be there when a hurricane takes your childhood home because the tragedy brings us closer. But I can't. I cannot let you Yoko Girls5eva." (Girls5eva, S02E01)
• "Ooh, just use the codeword that we had for visible tampon string when we did MTV4's The Grind's Spring Break Slam Palace."
  "Jack Bauer." (Girls5eva, S02E01)
• "Tim Meadows was heartbroken." (Girls5eva, S02E01)
• "Half our old songs weren't even spell-checked."
  ♪ "We don't want no average Joe so you better be rollin' in some Doug" ♪ (Girls5eva, S02E02)
• "According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word 'set' has the most meanings…430. And this song uses all of them." (Girls5eva, S02E02)
• "'Hope is a four-letter word' came to me while I was eating dim sum. For me, dim sum is the shower." (Girls5eva, S02E02)
• "Uh, nope, and we don't need a surrogate. But I'm sure you got a dope ute, Sniper Mom Omaha." (Girls5eva, S02E02)
• "I do not get the foot thing at all. I am just a meat-and-potatoes genitals gal." (Girls5eva, S02E02)
• "But the other foot, while fully functional, is far from beautiful. Nicknamed Reek, it lives in the shadows." (Girls5eva, S02E02)
• ♪ "And I know that Gloria punched BJ Novak in the face on an unaired episode of Punk'd" ♪ (Girls5eva, S02E02)
• "What kind of deep dive did you do on me?"
  "Well, I also saw a post where you ate octopus. How did it feel eating something that's capable of pranks?" (Girls5eva, S02E02)
• "You should do Peloton. It makes you less precious elsewhere." (Girls5eva, S02E02)
• "But I get the house, the cars, the Peloton, and Stevia, plus continued support for my extensions and 3/4 of all of our Doug." (Girls5eva, S02E02)
• "I got rid of my 'Summer loves Kev' tattoo."
  "'Summer loves Kevin Bacon's filmography.'" (Girls5eva, S02E02)
• "Dawn, your ego could unlock my phone 'cause recognition technology." (Girls5eva, S02E02)
• "I can't say sorry to a guy that pushes up the sleeves of his blazer."
  "It's called Varvatos-ing." (Girls5eva, S02E02)
• "It's an ode to the largest city in America that doesn't have a hit song about it!"
  ♪ "Tap into your Fort Worth" ♪ (Girls5eva, S02E03)
• "Hey, Maria, you gotta get the Sirius station off Raw Dog Comedy. It's 10:00 a.m. Lisa Lampanelli is on a 'vaginal ruin' run." (Girls5eva, S02E03)
• "I know from Scott's favorite dinner party story that every brick has a unique stamp."
  "Well, that's a good lesbian fact." (Girls5eva, S02E03)
• "What's the sexiest pain reliever? Bayer, right?"
  "No devices on set"
  "No… I didn't get a chance to press send."
  "Chef's Table wasn't over." (Girls5eva, S02E03)
• "Sir, uh, this is a Sliding Doors moment."
  "Oh, good, so it'll work out either way." (Girls5eva, S02E03)
• "Hey, will you watch Max for a minute? I'm just gonna go get him some food."
  "Okay. Okay, sir, come." (Girls5eva, S02E03)
• "I have seen you flirt a zillion times. You J-O'ed all of O-Town. You blowfished Hootie. You ran the table on the cast of Whose Line Is It Anyway?" (Girls5eva, S02E03)
• "I filmed that caffeinated-tampons commercial."
  "Tamperx?" (Girls5eva, S02E03)
• "Okay, little man, are you a kinesthetic learner or a social-interpersonal?" (Girls5eva, S02E03)
• "She's cute. I like her. My ticker's going, and my knees are weak, and I wanna buy her a horse." (Girls5eva, S02E03)
• ♪ "From Zendaya to Zen-night-a" ♪ (Girls5eva, S02E03)
• "He's boring, just like his father."
  "Can I play with another receipt?"
  "Yes, honey!" (Girls5eva, S02E03)
• "Oh, JK Rowling just tweeted in support of you, Stinker."
  "Shut it all down. I'm going to France." (Girls5eva, S02E03)
• "So, look, I have to cancel."
  "Why?"
  "My schedule's changed. I have to get up to Durham and back to Tampa in less than a day and…and I just think my ass might need at least a couple days to recover." (The Staircase, S01E03)

Colin Firth eating Toni Collette's ass (The Staircase, S01E03)

• "Sorry, man. That's not enough."
  "Oh. Well, I'll just let fate take care of it."
  "I'll pay for it, man. Damn, just move."
  "Thank you, fate." (Atlanta, S03E08)
• "Your friend, you know, he kind of seems like he's seen the other side before, but, uh, are you sure you want this?"
  "My nigga, I had to watch the movie Cats sober with a bitch who lied to me about having some dank, okay? So I know extremes. Yes." (Atlanta, S03E08)
• "Stereolab? All right, man." (Atlanta, S03E08)
• "Are you someone to other people?"
  "I'm nobody, so you can leave me alone."
  "Well, everyone is nobody. But are you a nobody to everyone?" (Atlanta, S03E08)
• "Two dirty martinis, a gin and Hpnotiq, and…"
  "Uh, White Hennessy, neat."
  "Two dirties, a Blue Lagoon, and a Chris Evans." (Atlanta, S03E08)
• "You're not the first rapper, just so you know."
  "Do you know what they call her apartment?"
  "106 and Park." (Atlanta, S03E08)
• </Outer Range, S01>
• "'Big Dick's Halfway Inn'? Really?
  "Yeah. Big Dick suffers from gigantism. Hence, the nickname 'Big Dick.' And he's always wanted to have a hotel halfway between Toronto and Niagara Falls. You know, Halfway Inn!"
  "Yeah, Big Dick's Halfway Inn. Yeah. Oh! Did you see there? They had a gift store. Pants are half off."
  "See? Reasonable prices. But that's just who Dick is. I just hope people can see past his prolapsed anus." (The Pentaverate, S01E01)
• "Behold, before you is a choice. Take the key, and you shall join us in protecting the world. Take the pill, and you shall end your life."
  "What will be choice? Will it be key or 'peele'?"
  "Come on, now." (The Pentaverate, S01E01)
• "I can't run too good on account I got necrosis of the left testis."
  "From a western?"
  "No, it's from when I was stunt coordinator on The Golden Girls. Fuck Estelle Getty!" (The Pentaverate, S01E04)
• </The Pentaverate, S01>

18. Golf Wang (365 Days: This Day)

Stray Observations

(Gaslit, S01E01)

• "Hey! Language, language, language. Don't make me bust out the swear jar."
  "Too late for that, Coach. Spence got mama's titties on the wall." (Winning Time, S01E08)
• "Mm. The Colonel has arrived! Ma, what do you like? Breast? Thigh?"
  "You tell me, you're the connoisseur."
  "Well, I like 69, but to each their own." (Winning Time, S01E08)
• "Now, the commissioner sees an opportunity for a new PR push. East versus west, city kid versus farm boy."
  "Luke Skywalker versus Darth Vader."
  "That's the kind of box office we want."
  "Got the wrong Luke then. Larry got the whiteness, but he ain't got the Force." (Winning Time, S01E08)
• "Just let me fucking pee in peace!" (Winning Time, S01E08)
• Paul Westhead peeing blood (Winning Time, S01E08)
• "Do you know why I picked you, Paul? Because I know how hard that job can be. How frustrating… Being stuck as someone's flunky when you're capable of more. I didn't want someone to go through that. Like I did. That's why I picked you. Because you're not capable of more. No… Actually, that's not fair. I thought I saw loyalty. So, you did surprise me after all." (Winning Time, S01E08)
• "That's why you ain't want to draft me? Think I needed to be liked?"
  "I thought you were a little too happy."
  "Well, I'm a happy guy."
  "No, you're not. No, you hide it behind those set of pearly whites, so most folks never know. But, I do. Because I know that feeling. If I had any sense, I'd be sitting on a fuckin' beach right now…with my beautiful bride sipping Mai Tais and giving her a baby. But I told her… Riley needed backup, so I swung out here to watch you guys living a life I bitched about for 20 fuckin' years. Go fuckin' figure."
  "You think we got what it take to win it all?"
  "Got the talent. That's a gimme. But that's only ever gonna get you press and pussy, though. A championship… Well…that takes a real killer. I scored 25,192 points in my career. You know what keeps me up? If I'd scored 10 more in just five games, I'd have five rings instead of fuckin' nightmares."
  "You got that one, though."
  "Yeah. And I wouldn't give it up for all the fucking happy in the world. Happy's a distraction. Nobody… Nobody will ever understand that. Not your family. Not your fucking teammates. Not your woman. Nobody. Matter of fact, they might even hate your fucking guts because of it." (Winning Time, S01E08)
• Vomiting rings (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E01)
• "PLANTS!" (Barry, S03E01)
• ♫: Russian "Africa" (Barry, S03E01)
• "Hide heroin? Fucking bitch!" (Barry, S03E01)
• "Flaky Critters" (Barry, S03E01)

(Barry, S03E01)

• "Oh! Are those for me?"
  "I got 'em from Ralphs." (Barry, S03E01)
• "Forgiveness is something that has to be earned. And whatever shit you're going through… I can't be part of it. I'm embracing my life. It's like that line in Shawshank Redemption. 'Get rich, or die trying.'" (Barry, S03E01)

(Barry, S03E01)

• ♫: Candi Staton – "He Called Me Baby" (The Baby, S01E01)
• Main titles using Verdana (We Own This City, S01E01)
• "And how do you know they're a he?"
  "Well, I was just assuming because 'Gefilte' is traditionally a boy's name." (Better Things, S05E10)
• "I mean, who could be better? He's been pre-disastered, like Garp." (Better Things, S05E10)
• Coast to Coast AM with Art Bell (Better Things, S05E10)
• ♫: Ending with "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life," a bookend to the Monty Python song in the premiere (Better Things, S05E09)
• </Better Things, S05>
• "Tommy, that was weird, right?"
  "I feel like I could say anything because this is monologue energy." (Mr. Mayor, S02E07)
• "Good luck, prostitute." (Mr. Mayor, S02E07)
• Mary Steenburgen (Mr. Mayor, S02E07)
• "Look, I get that diarrhea isn't flashy. Except when there's glitter in it, which is quite common for craft store employees."
  "I don't want to be the diarrhea mayor, Arpi." (Mr. Mayor, S02E07)
• "We have to solve the stupid murder so we can all go home. Wendy Williams is on Corden tonight, and I love not knowing how to feel about that." (Mr. Mayor, S02E07)
• "The supermarket billionaire. He invented cashiers saying, 'Oh, I've tried that. You're gonna love it.'" (Mr. Mayor, S02E07)
• "Is it a coincidence that the county just condemned four square blocks of downtown LA's historic Murder Hotel District?" (Mr. Mayor, S02E07)
• "But there is a silver lining."
  "Oh, you saw my underwear. Yeah, that's for odor." (Mr. Mayor, S02E07)
• "Okay, so when COVID started, I'd been dating somebody for about three months, and, um, Paige and I…"
  "Paige? She sounds white. Sorry. Go on." (Mr. Mayor, S02E07)
• "What are you proposing?"
  "If it comes to it, kill the hippo, steal the boat." (Moon Knight, S01E05)
• "You do not need to see that. That's the whole point of you."
  "The point of me? What? To be your stress ball?" (Moon Knight, S01E05)
• "It's so strange. The little haircut. Little silly 'tache there. It's very Ned Flanders." (Moon Knight, S01E05)
• "Marc, you've got this. But if I'm you… It means I've got this too." (Moon Knight, S01E05)
• </Tokyo Vice, S01>
• "Did you eat my ham?" (The Offer, S01E02)
• ♫: The Rolling Stones – "Can't You Hear Me Knocking" (The Offer, S01E02)
• "Oh, Janis Joplin died. That's so tragic."
  "What's tragic is OD-ing over a canceled ménage à trois with two other women."
  "Do you ever not have a spin on things?" (The Offer, S01E03)
• The Proud Family (Atlanta, S03E07)
• "It's bland."
  "Do you want me to put something on it for you?"
  "Spicy curry mango?" (Atlanta, S03E07)
• "Yep. We are out there."
  "Hmm. Practically in the islands." (Atlanta, S03E07)
• "Cockroach has no place at fowl party." (Atlanta, S03E07)
• Chet Hanks (Atlanta, S03E07)

(Atlanta, S03E07)

• "You know, when I was putting Sebastian to bed tonight, I asked him, 'What do you want to be when you grow up?,' and he said, 'I want to play steelpan like Uncle Samuel.'" (Atlanta, S03E07)
• ♫: Dan Mangan – "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea" (Pachinko, S01E08)
• </Pachinko, S01>
• </Slow Horses, S01>
• "You think I give a slick shit about you and your middle-class love puppy with his original fucking teeth?" (Killing It, S01E05)
• "But this is me, just a girl standing in front of a boy using her original teeth to ask for a second chance." (Killing It, S01E05)
• "So the fire spread from the putt-putt to the strip mall next door, damaging the tanning salon, the bong store, and the Boost Mobile."
  "Damn, a Florida trifecta." (Killing It, S01E06)
• "If you don't vote and I lose the right to my uterus."
  "Ah, don't put your uterus on the table like that." (Killing It, S01E06)
• "Haters call me crazy. Smart people call me for advice. Martin Luther King said that."
  "I'm pretty sure Martin Luther King didn't talk about haters."
  "Yeah, he did. It was his whole thing. Racists are the ultimate haters, dude." (Killing It, S01E07)
• "Boss up and breathe, you mοthеrfuckеr!"
  "He's got a hole in his neck. I don't think he can 'boss up.'" (Killing It, S01E07)
• "This is huge for us. Why you not smiling? Oh, it's because you hate being in the swamp with a naked corpse? I see." (Killing It, S01E07)
• ♫: The Pharcyde – "Oh Shit" (Killing It, S01E07)
• "I can get anyone two million followers. Take my client Terry Almost Drowns. She had no brand. Poor thing. She was just a woman who almost drowned at a Fourth of July party, but I saw something in her. She was funny when she almost drowned, you know? And she had a good body. She had that definition that's, like, kind of right in the waist. There's a word, the… It points… Cum gutters. And I look at her six months later, she's doing a Super Bowl commercial for Oikos. She almost drowns, but in Greek yogurt." (Killing It, S01E08)
• "Yo, thank you so much to everybody who came out to the water park in Tampa. It was amazing meeting so many girls with just really long wet hair." (Killing It, S01E08)
• "Dear Lord, we thank you for this feast, and we thank you for our followers. We pray that you grant us increased engagement across all platforms." (Killing It, S01E08)
• "That Kev guy's a fucking joke."
  "He discovered Terry Almost Drowns, Corby!" (Killing It, S01E08)
• "Eat faster, snake!"
  "He don't speak English."
  "Come rápido." (Killing It, S01E09)
• "Give me your shoe. Hurry up."
  "Wait, you're throwing it? Why don't you use your own shoe? […] I see why."
  "Shit, where's it going now? Will you come on?"
  "I only got one shoe!"
  "In a swamp? What's wrong with you?" (Killing It, S01E09)

(Killing It, S01E09)

• "What is happening?"
  ""I think this is a MAGA household. I think this dog loves Donald Trump!"
  "Fucking dog Republican. Fucking can't wait to lower dog taxes." (Killing It, S01E09)
• ♫: Bryan Ferry – "A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall" (Killing It, S01E09)
• "Oh, it's not gonna be a regular death, though. He's gonna probably hang me from a building or make me lick poison off some money." (Killing It, S01E10)
• "If you need anything at all, we're here for you."
  "Thanks. But didn't you guys say you needed a favor?"
  "What? Definitely not."
  "We're here for you, champ."
  "We're not heroes."
  "We're just friends."
  "Friends without motives." (Killing It, S01E10)
• "All right. Well, good job, homewrecker." (Killing It, S01E10)
• "I got a sponsor. They're these pills you take to dehydrate yourself so you look hot for selfies." (Killing It, S01E10)
• "Cheesy, beefy, caliente!" (Killing It, S01E10)
• "What about Nemo's mom in Finding Nemo? You think she got what was coming to her?"
  "We don't know what Nemo's mom did before the movie started. We don't know how she was."
  "If that's what you got to tell yourself."
  "Nemo's mom was a computer fish." (Killing It, S01E10)
• </Killing It, S01>