Adam Riff™

39. Am vs. Karre (Star Wars: Visions, S01E03)

Stray Observations

• "You know what I've been thinking about lately?"
  "When will Jesus come back?"
  "Nah, I ain't never thinking about that."
  "Your name's Apocalypse."
  "Nicknamed after the movie. My dad was in Vietnam."
  "Oh, making a movie? That's dope." (Heels, S01E06)
• James Harrison saying "this sateen-like shit hurts my fuckin' nipples" (Heels, S01E06)
• "That would be so cool, to have little kids sucking on your nipples." (Heels, S01E06)
• "Barstool wants to promote my comeback." (Heels, S01E06)
• Mick Foley (Heels, S01E06)
• "That's a lot of ranch."
  "Uh, it's-it's Bobby's."
  "I like ranch." (Heels, S01E06)
• "Vision out" (Reservation Dogs, S01E08)
• "I've been seeing this spirit for a while now."
  "You mean, like, dating a spirit?"
  "No, man, I'm not dating no spirit."
  "Oh, fuck. Misunderstood."
  "All right, well, he's a Lakota warrior who died at the battle at Little Bighorn. He didn't kill Custer or, like, literally anybody, because, you know, him and his horse fell in a gopher hole. He always talks about how his nipples are always hard, but that doesn't really matter." (Reservation Dogs, S01E08)
• ♫: John Angaisk – "Hey, Hey, Hey, Brother" (Reservation Dogs, S01E08)
• Reservation Dogs Season Grade: C
• "Call me 355."
  "Okay, cool. Call me Trapezoid." (Y: The Last Man, S01E04)
• Herman's Head (Only Murders in the Building, S01E06)
• "I'm a stranger that lied to you a bunch, and you're two randos that dragged me into a podcast."
  "'Rando' is a slang for a person of no significance."
  "I used context clues, but thank you."
  "You're welcome."
  "You could still do the podcast, though. Can learn how to use Twitter. It's not that hard. Don't do TikTok." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E06)
• "Would you mind coming with me? Or am I too rando?" (Only Murders in the Building, S01E06)
• Cardboard cutout of Elliot Stabler (Only Murders in the Building, S01E06)
• "I don't remember how Herman's Head ended, but I suspect it ended with him finally finding the girl. Or the guy. I could never tell with Herman." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E06)
• "Apparently, people still watch live TV." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E06)
• "Women who knock rarely make history." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E06)
• "I want to do this podcast. I have to finish this with you guys."
  "That…is so rando." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E06)
• "Go restock the Dr. Quinn hats." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
• "I have to arrange a tour of Andrews Air Force Base for Gerald McRaney."
  "Who?"
  "Major Dad, Monica." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
• "Paula, you got all of them. Even that little Jewish lady." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
• "This is horseshit, Bob. It's the worst decision in the history of the court."
  "Well, Dred Scott…"
  "Don't talk to me about Dred Scott." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
• "Are you excited?"
  "To meet Matt Drudge?" (American Crime Story, S03E03)
• "Also, she's a lesbian."
  "She is not. She used to date Dinesh D'Souza." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
• "What must it be like to be a grayscale Xerox of me?"
  "I don't see how she could be your Xerox, when, unlike you, she attended an elite law school."
  "Michigan is top ten."
  "See, that's among the saddest sentences I've ever heard." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
• "You want to…get a Diet Coke?" (American Crime Story, S03E03)
• "He said he still wanted to be friends and then, uh…Tony Blair called and he gave me a hug and I left and I sobbed on Pennsylvania Avenue." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
• "'I was a good girl when I was sent to the Pentagon. I waited patiently because I believed I would return to the White House. If that does not happen I'm going to have to explain to my parents why.'" (American Crime Story, S03E03)
• "Remember, no tears." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
• "I have to hand this to Gerald McRaney in 20 hours." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
• "We are not from Pasadena." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
• "Oh, there you are, all the way down there. So tiny, I almost stood on you. How are you?" (What If…?, S01E07)
• "Yeah, goats!" (What If…?, S01E07)
• "Volstagg has crashed!" (What If…?, S01E07)
• "Loki, you are the absolute best!"
  "You're my brother from another mother, man." (What If…?, S01E07)
• "Wait, what's that boom? Did you boom?"
  "No, I didn't boom. Did you boom? You always boom."
  "I never boom. I only boom in private." (What If…?, S01E07)
• "Oh, no, your weird rocks have all fallen over." (What If…?, S01E07)
• "If I exert my full powers, I blow a crater in this planet. Taking down Kappa Kappa frat freak won't be worth the fatalities."
  "Ooh. What about South Dakota?" (What If…?, S01E07)
• "Well, look who came waddling back: Mrs. the Duck." (What If…?, S01E07)
• "Arm the nukes."
  "What? But I thought she was the nuke."
  "Just in case she gets distracted by a cat." (What If…?, S01E07)
• "Look who's pooping the party now. It is you! You are pooping the party!" (What If…?, S01E07)
• "Did you know that Midgard is the birthplace of the Snuggie?" (What If…?, S01E07)
• "With power, you can protect those without it. However, like everything else, it is impermanent." (Star Wars: Visions, S01E07)
• Star Wars: Visions Season Grade: C
• "Finally, I was the last one, and it was one spot left. They had to pick me, right?"
  "Cactus!"
  "What the hell? That's a goddamn cactus!"
  "I was devastated. I had to just stand there behind the fence and watch them play, having so much fun. Even worse, that fucking cactus made a big catch."
  "Cactus! Cactus! Cactus!" (Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens, S02E07)
• "I mean, I'm digging the port tawny, but I know y'all got the Remy Martin. Every Chinese function has Remy Martin." (Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens, S02E07)
• "Anyway, thank you, Doug, for that fully disgusting story that no one asked for."
  "What? You got one better than spicy dick?"
  "A thumb could tell a better story than spicy dick!"
  "At least I was in my stories. Got a couple of R.L. Stines here." (Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens, S02E07)
• "Oh, I wish we had some beef bourguignon!"
  "You can eat while watching porn?" (Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens, S02E07)
• "The gays might stop coming." (American Horror Story, S10E06)
• "You know, I stopped Burger King from opening in this town. I can stop you too." (American Horror Story, S10E06)
• "Chicken-shit little bitch." (American Horror Story, S10E06)
• "Look, I know this sucks, okay? I know you got a raw deal. But you are not monsters. You're a bunch of Laurence Fishburnes. Fishburne turned down Pulp Fiction because his agent told him he'd be working with John Travolta – a has-been. Now, look, you all made a very bad call, but it is not the end of the story. Fishburne went on to beat out Sam Jackson for The Matrix. The moral of the story is that sometimes there are second chances." (American Horror Story, S10E06)
• "Care for some baby charcuterie?" (American Horror Story, S10E06)
• "So either you up your offer by a lot, or, if you prefer, you can just suck my dick." (American Horror Story, S10E06)
• "What's an 'ussy'? U-S-S-Y. Ussy, is that like a selfie with a bunch of people?"
  "Read the sentence."
  "It says, 'I'm going to win the contest, then I'm going to make him lick my ussy real good.' Ussy, what's ussy?"
  "I think that's maybe a typo. They forgot a P." (The Premise, S01E03)
• "Do you know what the chemist did then?"
  "He put it on his dick."
  "That's exactly what he did. He put it on his dick." (The Premise, S01E03)
• "Your talent Jesse…your fame, the light music that shines through you."
  "That's my opium dick." (The Premise, S01E03)
• "These are my yellow books. These are my red books. These are my purple books, my green books and…of course, you know, my blue books. Yeah, I love reading." (The Premise, S01E03)
• "How did this happen? It's on LeakedMeat!"
  "It is?"
  "Yes! This sucks."
  "I know, I love that site! Now I can't go on without seeing my brother's hole…again?" (The Other Two, S02E09)
• "Hey, guys. A butthole has recently been brought to my attention. No. Hello. Some of you have seen a lewd photograph of a bottom. It's too formal. Hey, y'all. Okay, obviously not that." (The Other Two, S02E09)
• "'Skypoint Airlines is homophobic. @CaryDubek, I stand with you and your hole'? No, Busy! Don't stand with my hole." (The Other Two, S02E09)
• "I'm wearing it in orange, but it also comes in brown and bad yellow." (The Other Two, S02E10)
• "Justin Bartha doesn't want to lose on camera, so we're gonna have you guys tie." (The Other Two, S02E10)
• "You looked so beautiful during the dead daughter segment. I'm literally getting hard just thinking about it." (The Other Two, S02E10)
• "Hey, stick around, 'cause up next, Jeff Probst is here to sing a song off his new rock album, Survive." (The Other Two, S02E10)
• Practicing nurse callback (The Other Two, S02E10)
• "Cary, it has been a long, hard road, but you never gave up and it's all gonna finally pay off for you tomorrow, March 13, 2020. Anyway, in Gay News, Laura Dern fell." (The Other Two, S02E10)
• The Other Two Season Grade: B
• "Charmaine wanted one, but you can't sell them to women because, it's…"
  "A men's only pillow."
  "Says so on the box." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E05)
• Ghost Face mask (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E05)
• "My techniques and my methods might be a bit old-fashioned."
  "May I approach the bitch?" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E05)
• "If I may quote my favorite comedian, Monty Python, 'We better get a bucket.'" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E05)
• "And he's got an enchanted nutsack as well, apparently." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E05)
• ♫: Philip Bailey and Phil Collins – "Easy Lover" (Ted Lasso, S02E10)
• "When I get home, I will set them on fire, and their memory will burn in hell."
  "Jesus, Dani."
  "Jesús has no place in the conversation of these damn shoes." (Ted Lasso, S02E10)
• "Are you going to charge me for this session?"
  "Of course I am."
  "Okay."
  "For the house call."
  "I appreciate your integrity." (Ted Lasso, S02E10)
• "Sam, you're so kind and loving and…wise. But…"
  "Oh, no. I hate big buts, and I cannot lie." (Ted Lasso, S02E10)
• "I thought he was black. That's Rick Astley?" (Ted Lasso, S02E10)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Underground Railroad
The New AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Other Two

38. Social Justice Sex Tape (The Premise, S01E01)

Stray Observations

• "You're the one who had to have Church's. KFC would have been fine."
  "Well, excuse me for considering my digestion." (Heels, S01E05)
• ♫: Oscar Lang – "I Feel Good" (Heels, S01E05)
• "You got a DUI in Manhattan. Do you know how hard that is to do?" (Y: The Last Man, S01E01)
• "Look, can you just tell her, if I knew you were here, I would have just raided a Gap?" (Y: The Last Man, S01E02)
• "Um, how many other men have you found?"
  "We found plenty of men. None with a Y chromosome…" (Y: The Last Man, S01E03)
• "They named you after a dead clown." (Y: The Last Man, S01E03)
• "Wait, you brought a gun."
  "Well, you always bring a gun to a gunfight." (Reservation Dogs, S01E07)
• "Was the guy that invented plastic, was that his last name?" (Reservation Dogs, S01E07)
• "'An innocent girl, a harmless driver, what could possibly go wrong?' That's the tagline from License to Drive."
  "Oh. Okay."
  "The second of the Two Coreys trilogy."
  "Sure."
  "Even though they worked together many times after Dream a Little Dream, all their subsequent movies went straight to video." (Reservation Dogs, S01E07)
• "You fucker!" (Only Murders in the Building, S01E05)
• "[gasps] Strawberry lube! Oh wait, that gave you a reaction last time."
  "[laughs] Oh, this one."
  "We've got bubblegum lube." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E05)
• "Rolling deep with cacti today." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E05)
• "Let me call you back. My cousin just picked up two white boys." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E05)
• "What flavor do you have there?"
  "Uh, vegan sea salt oil?"
  "Jesus. When did ice cream become a hand lotion?" (Only Murders in the Building, S01E05)
• "I'm bored. You're boring. That's the problem with you Republicans."
  "You're a Republican!"
  "Mm, I'm a conservative. You're all too nice. What does that get you? It, it gets you Dole."
  "What's wrong with Dole?"
  "Um, he lost? Idiotic American females couldn't wait to reelect their fat boyfriend. (American Crime Story, S03E02)
• "Paula, I see you've had a makeover. How long have you had the braces?" (American Crime Story, S03E02)

(American Crime Story, S03E02)

• "Wow. Uh, bold design choice."
  "What? I like anime." (What If…?, S01E06)
• "Hey. Hey. If we could miniaturize an arc reactor… No, that's a dumb idea." (What If…?, S01E06)
• "I'm sorry, are you allowed to say that to people in my tax bracket?" (What If…?, S01E06)
• "Why wear the uniform of your own oppressors? Fight for them? Die for them?"
  "Kid, you've gotta be part of the system to change the system."
  "Nah. You can burn it down." (What If…?, S01E06)
• "The difference between you and me…is that you can't see the difference between you and me." (What If…?, S01E06)
• "Power, unearned, can be a very volatile force, cousin. It'll get the best of you, eventually." (What If…?, S01E06)
• MasterChef Season Grade: D
• "I am real. Like J. Lo featuring Ja Rule." (Awkwafina Is Nora From Queens, S02E06)
• "This is the longest I've held something that wasn't a cocktail or a grudge." (American Horror Story, S10E05)
• "The studio's planning a whole Speed Racer expanded universe." (American Horror Story, S10E05)
• "Good luck in your universe. Motherfucker!" (American Horror Story, S10E05)
• "You don't feed off your brother." (American Horror Story, S10E05)
• "Newborn makes veal taste like horseshit." (American Horror Story, S10E05)
• "Shouldn't we check the window?"
  "No, we have to go around to the back door."
  "Are you sure?"
  "Yeah, I used to be a freaking methhead. You don't think I know how to break into a goddamn house?" (American Horror Story, S10E05)
• "Hey, man, I'm sosorry to bug you. Um, we actually haven't had a chance to meet yet, but I'm just a huge fan of your activism. You actually quote-tweeted me once."
  "All right, cool, man…" (The Premise, S01E01)
• "So Ethan, what led to your decision to masturbate to this sex tape?"
  "I guess I was lonely and I had some work I was avoiding doing so I was procrastibating, I guess."
  "So the woman on the tape identified as Vanessa Delacorte is…um…well, there's really no other way to say this…much more attractive than you?"
  "Objection. Opinion not fact."
  "Overruled. I'll allow it as fact." (The Premise, S01E01)
• "So Ethan, what led to your decision to masturbate to this sex tape?"
  "I guess I was lonely and I had some work I was avoiding doing so I was procrastibating, I guess." (The Premise, S01E01)
• ♫: String "Back That Azz Up" (The Premise, S01E01)
• "I went through more than 10,000 of Mr. Streiber's tweets and I just want to understand the psychology and credibility of that type of individual. This one calls for abolishing the police. This one calls for more law enforcement at a Tame Impala show. 'Never trust the government,' 'never trust the pharmaceutical industry,' and then 'the government is doing an amazing job rolling out the vaccine.' You're an idiot if you don't get it. This one says MJ is the GOAT, this one says LeBron is the GOAT. You can't have two GOATs. And what do you all think of this one? 'Maybe more cops will go to jail if they didn't put the stupidest people in America on juries.'" (The Premise, S01E01)
• "Everybody is dragging me for not being a perfect person. I've really done everything I can think of to do. I posted that black square, I deleted that black square, I reposted the black square, and then I redeleted the black square." (The Premise, S01E01)
• "The justice system wants to fuck people like Darren. And the social justice system wants to fuck people like me." (The Premise, S01E01)
• "She's kind of cute."
  "Yeah, 'kind of' is generous."
  "What about her?"
  "What a ten world, no sevens." (The Premise, S01E02)
• "I followed her for, like, a week. That's longer than I followed Jameela Jamil." (The Other Two, S02E07)
• "See, the reason I still follow her is because her boyfriend is hot, and he doesn't have his own account—or, you know he does, but he's straight, so it's all photography." (The Other Two, S02E07)
• "God, ever since mom posted that Deadline article, everybody thinks Night Nurse is still happening."
  "Which is great. You get all the credit for being in a movie without having to actually film it. Like Angelina Jolie and all those Maleficent movies."
  "Yeah, there's no way those were real, right?"
  "No. They are 100% just posters." (The Other Two, S02E08)
• "Of course Dean's straight! But you're not gonna say a word because we need him at events like this. You think Gus Kenworthy is coming to this shit if it's just Billie Jean King? No. Plus, if he leaves, who do we flirt with?"
  "Um, all the other gay people?"
  "Ew." (The Other Two, S02E08)
• "And the whole heist ends up with everyone at the Brooklyn Bridge."
  "Is that meaningful? Have we ever been there together as a squad?"
  "Uh, yeah."
  [title sequence] (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E09)
• "It's a trip down memory lane."
  "Not a problem. I have the memory of a—the thing with the big nose and ears."
  "Prince Charles." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E09)
• "For the record, I'm not a cannibal anymore. My new passion is needlepoint embroidery. Look at these. Two parrots in love. A turtle with a monocle and a top hat." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E09)
• "Okay, you got me. I was gonna eat you. That's still my thing. It's even affected my needlepoint. Look at this. Liver. A heart. Butt. An arm. Mmm." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E09)
• Cannibal needlepoint (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E09)
• "Yeah, I got to stop trying to recapture the magic of the original and move on. Anyways, back to the eighth annual heist." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E09)
• "I got it off Ukrainian Etsy. They sell arts and crafts and tactical gear." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E09)
• "Hey, Bill. Rough year?"
  "Yeah, the pandemic was really hard on my industry."
  "Which is?"
  "Nursing home seductions." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E09)
• "That's what you get for being a nerd who wears seatbelts. Cool people die gruesome, preventable deaths." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E09)
• "I come over and we watch sports. We are obsessed with college swimming." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E10)
• "A six-month subscription to the Rosetta Stone?"
  "That's my present for Peralta."
  "Your present to me is school?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E10)
• Cheers finale (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E10)
• Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season Grade: C
• "Have you got a little secret, you little sick fuck?"
  "Yeah, come on, you stinky bitch. The library is open." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E04)
• "I am playing a game called The Big Bang Theory game. So hypnotic. Really has me in its grips. Two Leonards and a Raj. I need three Rajs!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E04)
• "'Bazinga' is the war cry of Sheldon, their tall leader." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E04)
• Colin getting got caught up in the hotel information channel (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E04)
• "Bat! Ugh, a fucking sparrow. The lamest of all birds." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E04)
• "This Big Bang Theory. is really very good. Very faithful to the slot machine." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E04)
• "Laszlo can be a real Leonard sometimes, can't he?" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E04)
• "Look at that. You got a couple Koothrappalis, a Hofstadter, and four Wolowitzes. Oh, and Penny. Not bad." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E04)
• Discworld (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E04)
• "But now, thanks to modern science, Nandor understands that we're all just temporary aggregations of dust and fluid camping out on a big rock that's just one of an infinite number of equally unspecial big rocks that make up part of this vast and uncaring universe." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E04)
• "This is science."
  "But this is a turtle!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E04)
• [escalator]
  "Uh, how does it…?"
  "You have to step on it."
  "I'm on. I'm on!"
  "Just…"
  "What is happening? Am I flying?"
  "Just hold on to this."
  "Possessed by witches!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E04)
• Empty polaroids (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E04)
• "Shut up, Thierry Henry." (Ted Lasso, S02E09)
• "In all my happiest memories, I'm single. That troubles me." (Ted Lasso, S02E09)
• Coach Beard dancing to ♫: Martin Solveig and Dragonette – "Hello" (Ted Lasso, S02E08)
• ♫: Blur – "The Universal" (Ted Lasso, S02E08)
• "Lee Byung-hun's in it." (Squid Game, S01E06)

(Squid Game, S01E09)

• Squid Game Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Underground Railroad
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Girls5eva

37. Ace vs. Bobby Promo Video (Heels, S01E04)

Honourable Mention

• Rick's Backstory (Rick and Morty, S05E10)
• Trae Young (WWE SmackDown, 10 Sep 21)

Stray Observations

(Heels, S01E04)

• "I'd eat a mile of her shit just to lick where it came out." (Heels, S01E04)
• "My parents were always telling me, 'Just stay the course, Bobby.' It's like, man, sometimes I wish life was like Mario Kart or something, where the course is just up in the corner, you know? So when people told you 'stay the course,' you kinda know what the course looks like." (Heels, S01E04)
• ♫: Uncle Tupelo – "Black Eye" (Heels, S01E04)
• "Sorry, guys, if I wanted another bleeding heart, I'd inject re-animator serum into an actual bleeding heart." (Rick and Morty, S05E09)
• "But I see 'two crows' written right here beside 'Gene with donkey brains,' 'half a Paul Giamatti,' and 'sentient shit.'" (Rick and Morty, S05E09)
• [crow alarm blares]
  "Seriously? Is there anything not on theme here?" (Rick and Morty, S05E09)
• "I was iffy about this one, but crow tech slaps!" (Rick and Morty, S05E09)
• "Bird quaaludes…" (Rick and Morty, S05E09)
• "He's anti-heroic! Run!" (Rick and Morty, S05E10)

(Rick and Morty, S05E10)

• "Submit to Crow Horse!" (Rick and Morty, S05E10)
• "Aw, that's cute. They rebuilt. They made it nicer."
  "They made it Glendale." (Rick and Morty, S05E10)
• "Woof. You're about to get suspended with pay." (Rick and Morty, S05E10)
• "Oh! Was I…influential?"
  "Yeah, y-you were influential. You had, like, seven…seven blogs." (Rick and Morty, S05E10)
• Rick and Morty Season Grade: C
• "You fucking pretentious cunt deer!" (Reservation Dogs, S01E06)
• "So, we're gonna bring Sting a morning turkey?"
  "Ye— I know, it's weird, but I figure if we also brought coffee… Yeah, listen. I know this is nuts…"
  "No, no, no. That's exactly why it'll work. Because it's surprising. No one ever brings anyone a turkey with bad intentions!"
  "Exactly! Wow. I am amazed. I didn't think you'd be on board with this."
  "I'm so on board with this. Because this is how I'm gonna fill the rest of my days with hobbies, and my hobby is solving murders. I'm gonna go on vacation with murders, and one day, murders are gonna sit by my bed and feed me broth because I'm losing my swallow reflex." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E04)
• "Emma thought a hard break would be best for Lucy, so I really haven't spoken to her since. And I've been haunted by it. And by Bugs and Porky." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E04)
• "Make her stay and watch. I want that treacherous bitch to see what she's done to me." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
• "I am not going around to Quality Management conferences giving out oral sex." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
• "And we'd like a role on Designing Women for Steve."
  "Yeah, I could be, like, a love interest for Delta Burke." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
• "I'm sorry, ma'am, this is a non-smoking section."
  "Oh, fantastic. The whole earth is becoming Berkeley, California." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
• "Half of Arkansas is here. You might have noticed a certain Kmart spirit in the air." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
• "Um, what is fellatio?" (American Crime Story, S03E01)
• "I can draw it, his…area." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
• "It takes a dramatic turn." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
• "And Kathleen, who has the secretarial experience of a radish…" (American Crime Story, S03E01)
• "I can hear you chewing."
  "This is how I chew." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
• "D.C. gets lonely fast." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
• "She's also from Los Angeles."
  "Oh, really? Where?"
  "I think she said Glendale. Is that it?"
  "Glendale's never it." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
• "Uh, guys, I'm covered in Sharon." (What If…?, S01E05)
• "Sorry, I tend to process traumatic events with dad jokes."
  […]
  "Whoa! Watch out! She's a man-eater! There it is, I'm doing it again." (What If…?, S01E05)
• "I hope everyone enjoyed Little Women by Louisa May Alcott."
  "To be honest, I did not."
  "Yes, a better title would've been White Women." (Awkwafina Is Nora From Queens, S02E05)
• "Will you stop thinking about ass and help us?" (Awkwafina Is Nora From Queens, S02E05)
• "Don't you wanna help that dick?" (Awkwafina Is Nora From Queens, S02E05)
• "Took everything in me not to rub one out during that threesome with George and Martha and Ben Franklin." (American Horror Story, S10E04)
• "I'm digging the look. Vampire Michael Stipe. Or…anorexic Uncle Fester?" (American Horror Story, S10E04)
• "The talented ones need the blood, but their rage comes from their arrogance and certainty that they're better than everyone. The rage of the untalented is much darker, more intense. You hate the world for giving you dreams that were too big." (American Horror Story, S10E04)
• Evan Peters in drag (American Horror Story, S10E04)
• "And your drag name is awful."
  "Patty O'Furniture. That's an awesome name." (American Horror Story, S10E04)
• "Do I have a tattoo? Oh, please. I got this on 9/11. Not for 9/11, I just happened to be getting it that morning." (The Other Two, S02E05)
• "Duh! I love foie gras. I have always pronounced it that way." (The Other Two, S02E05)
• "Cary, hey. Just got back from only peeing in the bathroom." (The Other Two, S02E05)
• "Are you even from Texas?"
  "Yeah. I'm from Austin."
  "Fuck! I always forget about Austin." (The Other Two, S02E05)
• "Did you guys know the Body of Christ here is a margherita flatbread?" (The Other Two, S02E05)
• ♫: Leland – "Jesus Fucking Slays" (The Other Two, S02E05)
• "How did I not realize I was writing the movie Beginners?" (The Other Two, S02E06)
• "Are you trying to Before Sunrise me?" (The Other Two, S02E06)
• "Her hair smells of tropical fruits, her scalp of medication." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
• "The fonts for the Vampiric Council website. I mean, we could do Franklin Gothic, but it's a bit on the nose." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
• "Is that what I think it is?"
  "No, it's not, you little pervert. It's an engagement ring." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
• "What the hell is that?"
  "Cornelius Dong's Adventures in the Boner Brigade."
  "That never came out in hardback." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
• "Oh, come in, come in. We were just dancing in between rounds of cunnilingus." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
• "Energy vampires love a good road trip. I, myself, always have my mix ready to go. 25 'Hey There Delilahs.'" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
• "Oh, Guillermo! Have you seen my genital towel?" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
• "There is a bloody plunket of a man upstairs who has feelings, and those feelings are going to get hurt and then we will never choose a font!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
• "Are you insinuating that I would do it with her while she is in wolf form? Because I did, but I was in bat form, and it was exclusively hand stuff." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
• ♫: Muse – "Supermassive Black Hole" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
• "Oh, I'm sure Gail's completely satisfied with your tiny little bat dick."
  "I'll give you a bat dick! I mean, proportionally, it is quite normal, but it is slightly teensy and ineffective. I mean, it's a bat dick, you know?" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)

(What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)

• "Use the weight of your penis, darling." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
• "A veterinarian for wild animals. I still don't get how that works. You treat them in the woods and no one pays you?" (Ted Lasso, S02E08)
• "No, I like my water like Kyrie Irving likes his Earth – flat." (Ted Lasso, S02E08)
• "Really? The pitches aren't the same size?" (Ted Lasso, S02E08)
• "Point is, guys, we're here now, okay? At this Wembley. The one that Freddie Mercury never stepped foot in." (Ted Lasso, S02E08)
• "All right, let's go kick their butts. 'Butts' on three." (Ted Lasso, S02E08)
• ♫: Oasis – "Don't Look Back in Anger" (Ted Lasso, S02E08)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Underground Railroad
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Girls5eva