Ar ar ar!
Date Archives March 2006
You will die alone
Where are they now? Today: The Boxcar Children. I caught up with Benny, the youngest Alden, at his home in Greenfield, Massachusetts. Jon: Is this the infamous boxcar? Benny: Yup. Jon: You moved back into the boxcar? Benny: My ex-wife received the house in our…
Not so much the people in the audience as the people sitting in my mind
Who would win in a fight: Broken Social Scene1 or the Wu-Tang Clan? Is this a trick question? No… Look at the pictures. A bunch of black guys from Staten Island who named themselves after the martial arts capital of China vs. some pasty Canadian…
We are here to save the Erf
Depeche Mode have recorded a version of their new single "Suffer Well" in 'Simlish,' a language spoken by characters in the popular Sims video game. The song appears in the new expansion pack, The Sims 2: Open For Business. Call him "Mel Gahan." I hope…
The Industrious Prostitute
Blah blah blah Natalie Portman rap blah blah real-life Simpsons blah. As seen on ESPN.com: [spit-take] If by "the press and polls" he means "ESPN," then yes. Dear University of Michigan student section: The Maize Rage? Are you kidding me? Even arena football / major…
Soggy Biscuit
I bet J.J. is one "blue" devil right now. All that was missing from yesterday's ridiculous "full circle" (jerk) on the networks of ESPN was Tim McCarver. Note to self: Redick listens to a lot of gospel music and wants Heath Ledger to play him…
Bleach Party
Excerpts from actual reviews of Dave Chappelle's Block Party: "There is an audience for rap and, let's face it, I am not a member of that audience." Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times "I'm not even a big fan of hip-hop…" Ross Anthony, Hollywood Report Card "While…
Man is a monkey, men more so
In Australia, WWE shows move from Fox 8 to the Main Event Channel due to Fox 8 doing a two week long 24/7 Simpsons marathon. Holy shit! 672 straight episodes of The Simpsons? That's almost every existing episode twice. Did you know that Grand Theft…
Lost in Translation
2-15 "Maternity Leave" [Claire studies tattoos on her body] "Dharma F. quarantined and infected my son" "Remember Ethan Rom" "The facts: medical bunker, vaccine, baby's room, knitted booties" Claire: They tried to steal my baby! Rousseau: They stole my baby! Claire: Your baby may have…
I'm a quitter, not a failure
Shane McMahon "helps" Shawn Michaels kiss Vince McMahon's ass Better than "Giants Idol," I suppose. While wishing my mother a happy birthday yesterday, I realized that I don't know how old my parents are. Fifty-something? Come to think of it, I don't know the age…