Eater's Digest: Las Vegas 6

on

Previously on Adam Riff™ (Oct 2017):

MISSED CONNECTIONS

Palace Pan Roast (Oyster Bar)
—David Chang: "It's the best dish in Las Vegas."

March 2018
paid in full / the black sheep / the buffet at wynn / starboard tack / bacchanal buffet / chica / the buffet at wynn / mian / sweets raku / oyster bar / the buffet at wynn / chengdu taste


Udon Fries (Paid in Full)
animal style

^ Hope you like In-N-Out's Thousand Island-esque spread.


Crispy Tapioca (Paid in Full)
aged parmesan, nori powder

^ A more successful fried appetizer with a chewy interior.

Sweetbread Katsu (Paid in Full)
snow pea, bacon, frisée, bulldog sauce
—The only fried sweetbreads I acknowledge are (The Black Hoof)'s in Toronto.

Foie Gras Okonomiyaki (Paid in Full)
kabocha, hazelnut, smoked maple
—"Oh, this will be like the 'foie gras, biscuit, maple sausage gravy' dish at (Animal) in Los Angeles, but with a pancake instead of a biscuit," I thought.

I thought wrong.

Nothing compares 2 U, "foie gras, biscuit, maple sausage gravy" dish at (Animal) in Los Angeles.


Mapo Tofu Frito Pie (Paid in Full)
minced pork, aged cheddar, scallion

Phat Rice Noodles (Paid in Full)
lamb chorizo, broccoli rabe, garlic la-yu oil
—This has wisely since been replaced by Cumin Lamb Noodles.


Sweet Anko and Camembert Toast (Paid in Full)
cap'n crunch breading, kuromitsu syrup

^ Red bean paste and cheese?

An oddly unsweet dessert. It wasn't savoury, but it wasn't sweet either, no matter how much black honey I squeezed on.

Thug Passion (Paid in Full)
sparkling hawaiian punch, black pepper passion syrup
—A drink that exists.


Salmon Skin Tacos (The Black Sheep)
salmon belly tartare, tabiko, smoked shishito peppers, micro cilantro

^ Fried salmon skin as hard shells.


Fried Beef Crisps (The Black Sheep)
thai chili tajin dust, chili lime sauce

^ Fried beef tendon puffs, to be exact.

Fried Chicken Fried Rice (Starboard Tack)
with sunny side up egg

West Indies Fried Chicken Sandwich (Starboard Tack)
walkerwood jerk aioli, pineapple pickles

Mongolian Cheesesteak (Starboard Tack)
mongolian marinated tri-tip, grilled onions, american cheese, baguette
—This tasted off to me. Hugo liked it, though.

Szechuan Chimichurri Beef Skewer (Starboard Tack)
Tom Kha Mushroom Skewer (Starboard Tack)

Sakura (Sweets Raku)
cheese soufflé with strawberries, injected with cherry blossom cream; served with moscato sorbet
—I begrudgingly ordered this because the dessert I came for had been retired:


Pearl (Sweets Raku)
rich chocolate mousse paired with caramel, banana, and pineapple; topped with a white chocolate shell with a passion-fruit-sauce-filled candy pearl

Mung Bean Soup (MIAN)
natural mung beans, water, lightly sweetened with sugar

Complimentary mung bean soup?

Oh! It's Lu Dou Tang – a childhood favourite of mine!

Mung beans are green beans. The more you know.


Palace Pan Roast (Oyster Bar)
shrimp, crab, chicken, and andouille sausage

^ I didn't want to queue for an hour or two to try this, so I tried it for breakfast at 06:30 on a Friday.

It's fine.

MISSED CONNECTIONS


Choco Kebab (Choco Kebab)

Gnocchi Mexicano (Salud)
house-made gnocchi, guajillo mushroom cream sauce, queso fresco

Rollos Empanizados (Culichi Town)
—Deep-fried sushi rolls.


Hot Cheetos Ceviche (Culichi Town)


Cubana Mexicana Torta (Playa Papagayos)
pork leg, egg, ham, wiener, breaded steak, mexican sausage, cheese


Uni Melt (Sparrow + Wolf)
burrata, blood orange kosho

Longganisa Empanadas (Starboard Tack)
filipino-style longganisa, green olive, egg, roasted red pepper, chili vinegar crema

Seat-Thai Dog (Starboard Tack)
¼lb hot dog, thai chili cream cheese, fried shallot, grilled onion, cilantro

Triple Garlic Yakisoba (Paid in Full)
pork belly, mushrooms, cabbage, negi
—Served in a Chinese take-out container.


Jardin Signature "Fleur" (Jardin)
layered dark chocolate mousse, raspberry jam, moist chocolate cake in edible chocolate flower pot

#eatersdigest

This is extremely dangerous to our democracy

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:
Why doesn't a reality show about THIRTY SECONDS TO MARS' SUMMER CAMP exist?

Oh, NOFX has a camp too!

Late night campfire stories with Keith Morris?

Fletcher from Pennywise should recount his visits to Loveline when he vomited on Dr. Drew and threatened to defecate into his hand and make Adam Carolla eat it.

related:

Barman Poetry
(my follow-up to The Agony of Defeat)

The Agony of Defeat lasted eight years. We'll see how long I can sustain this side project.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

13. The Baby Boss (Ash vs. Evil Dead, S03E05)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "That's lip gloss? I thought you'd always just finished eating rotisserie chicken." (Bob's Burgers, S08E11)
  • Hitchcock shaving a burger (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E13)
  • "Famous kids are monsters. You do not wanna meet Young Sheldon." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E13)
  • "Karl, we send you our thoughts and prayers as you hurtle, screaming, on your terrifying journey to Hell. Heck, you're probably chewing on Bill Cosby's gallbladder right now, washing it down with a warm cup of diarrhea." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E12)
  • "Señor Clean" (The Last Man on Earth, S04E12)


(Trust, S01E01)


(Trust, S01E01)

  • "You're gonna look like Richard Gere from Pretty Woman. Maybe tonight you'll fall for a radiant sex worker." (Silicon Valley, S05E01)
  • "We never had pizza 'cause my stepmom said Italians aren't real white people." (Silicon Valley, S05E01)
  • Magnolia (Barry, S01E01)
  • "K-PAX." (Barry, S01E01)
  • "I mean, do you think Meryl Streep and Kaley Cuoco became stars just because they're the best?" (Barry, S01E01)
  • "Delta Burke is a lot of work!" (Barry, S01E01)
  • Chopped (Black-ish, S04E17)
  • "You just don't throw together an avant-garde Bible-themed 'Fashion of the Christ' costume party. Speaking of which, what's the costume?"
    "Well, I was thinking of being a sexy Rachel from Laban, Genesis 29:16. It's a deep cut."
    "No deep cuts! Stick to the hits." (LA to Vegas, S01E10)
  • "Are you tired of the same old restaurant experience? Then do what I do, and head down to Broth, Vegas' finest new eatery, where everything's soup, including you, because the dining room's a Jacuzzi." (LA to Vegas, S01E10)
  • "The best revenge is an act of social media." (LA to Vegas, S01E10)
  • "The party's tonight? But it's my bowling championship. You promised that if I advanced, you would come."
    "Well, you advanced and hopefully I will." (LA to Vegas, S01E10)
  • "We were nervous to tell you, for obvious reasons, because he's so, so old."
    […]
    "We were nervous about telling you, for obvious reasons, because she's so, so old." (LA to Vegas, S01E10)
  • "So, Dave, tell me, what made you decide to become a pilot?"
    "Well, Patricia, it all started when I first read the story of Icarus, who flew so close to the sun with no repercussions." (LA to Vegas, S01E10)
  • "Oh, God, I am gonna tell you what you told me when I tried singing Dreamgirls in the shower: You have to stop." (LA to Vegas, S01E10)
  • "I don't wanna be Mexican!" (The Mick, S02E19)
  • "Oh, these cabins look so rustic. Kinda makes you realize how cosmopolitan Bakersfield is." (Baskets, S03E10)
  • Baskets Season Grade: B
  • Grown-ish Season Grade: C
  • Lenny and Carl (Riverdale, S02E17)
  • "Wait, Kevin, can you lead us to this secret gay hook-up tunnel?" (Riverdale, S02E17)


(Riverdale, S02E17)

  • ♫ Ann Marr – "Bullet" (Riverdale, S02E17)
  • "Cheryl, Toni, there are a bunch of nuns coming. We have to go." (Riverdale, S02E17)
  • Diegetic "previously on" (The Magicians, S03E12)
  • "I come bearing gifts."
    "This is, like, 80% taco supplies."
    "I'm sorry, do they not have Tuesdays in Fillory?" (The Magicians, S03E12)
  • "I will say what I wish my father had said to me: I'm so happy you're dating a bear." (The Magicians, S03E12)
  • "Giving people shit is easy. Taking it away is almost impossible. Like Obamacare. Or herpes." (The Magicians, S03E12)
  • ♫ Peter Gabriel – "We Do What We're Told (Milgram's 37)" (The Americans, S06E01)
  • "Key and Peele put a movie out with a cat in it, they put the cat on the poster. They dressed the cat up like a nigga instead of putting two niggas that made the movie on the poster."
    "So was it a cat in a suit or just looked like a nigga?"
    "It was, you know, you know a cat, what a, what a nigga cat look like!" (Atlanta, S02E05)
  • "Raindrops peach emoji?" (Atlanta, S02E05)
  • "Toothpick? 50 cent." (Atlanta, S02E05)
  • "Yeah, he had queef engine or something like that, and his carburetor had jaundice." (Atlanta, S02E05)
  • "Hey, you like Zaxby's?"
    "Nigga, don't be rude. Of course I love Zaxby's." (Atlanta, S02E05)
  • "Nigga, three? You better pick up five. Use your back too, bitch." (Atlanta, S02E05)
  • "Well, do it then, beige lady!" (Atlanta, S02E05)
  • "You think I work hard at these three jobs so you can walk around town with your little nigglet friends skipping school all day? I work hard, man. But y'all think y'all grown, don't it? Huh? Well, since y'all grown, please tell me you put up the street team posters I gave you today." (Atlanta, S02E05)
  • "We ain't gonna never get this $35 now." (Atlanta, S02E05)
  • "Come inspire the youth!" (Atlanta, S02E05)
  • "I got a fire mixtape. I'm like Lonzo Ball." (Atlanta, S02E05)
  • "Don't tell your mama? Well, I'm calling her right now. She gotta know."
    "Do you have minutes?" (Atlanta, S02E05)
  • "Son, could you not jack off with my good lotion?"
    "Oh, really? Right in front of Paper Boi?" (Atlanta, S02E05)
  • "Anybody else pee a little bit when we had that wreck? Just me? Hey, sorry about the hit-and-run thing, but you know I can't go back to jail, baby. I just can't do it. I don't weigh enough. You know, I'll be somebody girlfriend immediately in jail. I don't fuck with no jails. Just passing by the Atlanta pen make my boy hymen hurt." (Atlanta, S02E05)
  • "You ruined my whole goddamn day."
    "Ruined?! Nigga, we had a good day today! I took you to mentor to some kids. You're welcome. And then we, we ate at that white lady house. And then we hit that Asian lady from the back, you know what I'm talking about…" (Atlanta, S02E05)
  • Thundercat and Flying Lotus composed an original score for the episode (Atlanta, S02E05)
  • Babylon Berlin Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

#clipoftheweek

Looking forward:

I can't do another season of Archer.

Detroit Dancehall

on

"Hawaiian and Japanese-inspired breakfast and brunch"…

"–Morning Wood."

Booths at BrunchCon gave out swag and sold merch. One vendor had Chambongs, which are like beer bongs, but for champagne, and a table from Lyft gave out totes that read "brunch so hard mimosas wanna find me." [source]

Idea: A LaCroix float – scoops of Halo Top in LaCroix.

How has KFC not rolled out fried chicken coated in Frito-Lay's "Flamin' Hot" powder yet?

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on


12. The Ultimate Deletion (WWE Raw, 03-19-18)

Stray Observations

  • "Over one weekend, there was a kiln fire. Sprinklers put it out, but it was a huge smoky mess."
    "Like Winston Churchill." (Bob's Burgers, S08E10)
  • Possessed shin (Ash vs. Evil Dead, S03E04)
  • "Ah, yes, the first pubic war, the sexiest of all wars." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E12)
  • "Okay, so we've secured Captain Holt's husband. Let's discuss how to proceed."
    "So what you're saying is, we need to talk about Kevin."
    [boos]
    "I have no regrets!"
    "Kevin is currently at the safe house with Captain Holt."
    "How long will he have to stay there?"
    "My friend in the organized crime division says they've been building a case against Seamus Murphy for years, and they're close. They think they'll move on him in the next month or two."
    "So you're saying, Kevin can wait?"
    [boos]
    "You know what, you people are insane! That was gold!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E12)
  • "I feel like Ellen watching her producers go through a haunted house." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E12)
  • "Okay, I've got three words. I've got an 'and,' I've got an 'an' and a 'he.' Now, the 'he' could be a part of a 'the' or the end of 'Apache.'" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E12)
  • "I'm not abandoning my husband. I love him."
    "Yeah, I love him too. Everybody loves Raymond."
    "Don't."
    "I think that's pretty funny!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E12)
  • "I was lying about the back-up! I came alone! Title of my sex tape." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E12)
  • "Better get some corticosteroids to treat that laryngeal fracture." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E12)
  • "There was a movie about a mandolin, and you kept it from me for two months?!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E12)
  • "Barf quieter, bud!"
    "You're no barf church mouse, either, bud." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E11)
  • "This is not the time to argue, okay? 'Cause right now, we are like the cast of the Jersey Shore, 'cause we got a The Situation." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E11)
  • "Maine has beaches! They just have more rocks and family secrets." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E19)
  • Fresh Off the Boat Season Grade: C
  • "Every black man has a friend named 'Cool Breeze.'" (Black-ish, S04E16)
  • "Is that supposed to be sushi?"
    "May I present to you freshly-caught Swedish Fish on Rice Krispy Treats. I call it the 'Hudson News Roll.' I know how much you like crap."
    "I love crap!" (LA to Vegas, S01E09)
  • "What did you just call me?"
    "Nothing. …Trash humper."
    "That's slander! I don't do that with trash!"
    "Oh, no? Then what are you doing with that can of Pringles?"
    "Oh, I'm using this as my wallet." (LA to Vegas, S01E09)
  • "They also said that Liam Neeson is aging into an old woman."
    "…saying that Samoa is barely a Guam." (LA to Vegas, S01E09)
  • "Oh. I do have a fetish." (LA to Vegas, S01E09)
  • "Send help! I'm mostly nude in the back of a cop car about to drown with a young boy!" (The Mick, S02E18)
  • "Happy birthday to you…"
    "I've always loved that song." (Baskets, S03E09)
  • "I've been trying to practice my empathy lately, and my empathy tells me that we should throw a party for Martha or she's gonna try to kill herself." (Baskets, S03E09)
  • "It's a great opportunity for me to debut Dill Pickles."
    "Who's that?"
    "He's my character that I told you about."
    "Why not Bread and Butter Pickles? [chuckles] They're so tasty. Have you ever had 'em?" (Baskets, S03E09)
  • "Now, when you think about dinner in Bakersfield, you gotta think about Basque restaurants." (Baskets, S03E09)
  • "Martha, you look so nervous. Why is that? Is it because of all the Basques?" (Baskets, S03E09)
  • "Martha! Get back over here! They have cow tongue! I don't want it, but I want to see someone eat it!" (Baskets, S03E09)
  • "I'm 50 now. I can't keep acting like I'm 39." (Baskets, S03E09)
  • Andy Cohen (Riverdale, S02E16)
  • "My friend's boyfriend plays basketball. They're playing you guys. She took me to a game. I got super into it."
    "Yeah, totally. Kobe Bryant, the Spalding company, two points per basket, love it all." (Speechless, S02E18)
  • Speechless Season Grade: C
  • Pauly Shore (Alone Together, S01E10)
  • "Why don't you just go to the old lady's apartment and take inventory of her stuff?"
    "By myself? What if there's a ghost?"
    "I don't know. Befriend it and write a sequel to Ghost Dad, dude."
    "I haven't seen the first one."
    "…You don't have to." (Alone Together, S01E10)
  • "She has pictures of her favourite celebrities up on her wall just like I do. That right there is Clark Gable, A.K.A. the Sacha Baron Cohen of her generation.
    Just out of curiosity, what do you think 'A.K.A.' stands for?
    "Also kinda alike?"
    "…Okay, not bad." (Alone Together, S01E10)
  • "As a friend, I'm letting you know that burlesque is the lowest form of art possible. Literally, it's the last failure a woman can have is burlesque, after acting, then yoga, then burlesque. That's it." (Alone Together, S01E10)
  • "She once spent three days on a riverboat casino eating nothing but lobsters and champagne before people found out she wasn't really a magician." (Alone Together, S01E10)
  • "It takes people years to get to where I am and all I had to do was show that manager that I was serious, laser-focused, and that she could never, ever, ever escape me."
    "Okay, so you're like the lower back tattoo of the service industry." (Alone Together, S01E10)
  • Alone Together Season Grade: C
  • "Fine, but I will freely admit I was getting excited at the idea of a Josh-Julia solo adventure."
    "Sorry."
    "Yeah, what would the shippers even call us? Josh? Julia? See, you couldn't even tell that I swapped the first letters." (The Magicians, S03E11)
  • The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story Season Grade: C
  • "This is gonna sound like a high question, but it's not. Are black women considered brunettes?" (Atlanta, S02E04)
  • A woman approaches Earn and praises what she initially assumes is very convincing blackface (Atlanta, S02E04)


(Atlanta, S02E04)


(Atlanta, S02E04)

  • "Do you believe that love can die?"
    "Sure, everything dies. But at least you lived through it." (Atlanta, S02E04)
  • Tessa Thompson (Portlandia, S08E10)
  • Portlandia Season Grade: D

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

#clipoftheweek

Uber Eats some Applebee's

on

Previously on Adam Riff™ (Jan 2002):

Adam Robot (Hamster Style): Jesus some of these sites. Talk about oldddd.

Adam Robot: I still talk to Crawlspace John.
Jon (Adam Riff™): Oh? Where is he now?
Adam Robot: Married. Has a step daughter. Lives in San Francisco. He runs and climbs a lot, drinks a lot of craft beer. Generally seems like he's doing well.

Jon: Jord (WankerCounty), of course, directed Kong: Skull Island.
Jon: Ish (Armegro) is one of Ben's industry contacts. Small world.
Jon: Aaron (The Marked Fool) became a stoner tattoo artist.
Jon: Dan (Just Plain Dan) joined the band Kayo Dot and is battling cancer.
Jon: Clint (Doofyfuel) died of cancer.

Jon: Do you remember Ty (Funky Fresh)?
Jon: Has he reached out to you recently?
Tony (WankerCounty): I do and no, not since the WC years.
Tony: Why?
Jon: Via Adam Riff™, he contacted me out of the blue today from a homeless shelter in Brooklyn asking me to help him find a date.
Tony: Whuhhh.

Jon: Oh, he has an active Google+ page.

Tony: Oh man.

Three months ago, Kalki (The Hoowa) similarly contacted me out of the blue via Adam Riff™.

I knew him as an Indian med student at Ohio State.

Fast forward to the end of 2017.

From…bobmarleyliveforever at gmail.com:

hello old friend. i moved to hawaii. i remember you said your ultimate goal in life was to win an oscar. i have an idea for a movie that i've already filmed on facebook, twitter, and periscope.

basically, what happened is i moved to hawaii after i got laid off in chicago. remember, i'm a doctor. i figured if oprah did it, there must be a reason. then since i was off, i decided to smoke marijuana to help with my anxiety and depression.

i ended up going a little crazy and on one of those marijuana hero adventures that people sometimes get. but i filmed the whole thing. it's kind of like mr. brainwash and banksy but live on facebook.

anyways, i was thinking the clips could be edited to tell the story. but it's inspired by everything that's happened in pop culture since i first met you around the year 2000. it's been almost 18 years man… and aol instant messenger is gone so this is the only way i have of contacting you. think of me as princess leia sending a message to obi-wan… do you want to make a movie? you're my only hope. literally… b/c i pissed of so many other people on my quest to legalize marijuana for doctors.

and that's what the movie is really about.

I visit his listed website: …studiobanksy.com.

I hate me for loving you

on

Less Than Jake?

I suppose with punk/emo/hardcore festivals going extinct, you gotta take what you can get.

Korn, Not Creed, and Thrice walk into a bar…

Cameron Diaz is married to Benji Madden of Good Charlotte?

Cameron Diaz and Nicole Richie are sisters-in-law.

Why doesn't a reality show following the Madden Brothers and their wives exist? Total Maddens. Lionel is Laurinaitis.

Debuting in 2015, CAMP MARS is the first of its kind Summer Camp Festival.

Festival-goers can join activities such as archery, drum circle, meditation, stone mandala making, dream catcher weaving, nature writing, a speaker series, 2 different performances by Thirty Seconds to Mars under the stars in Malibu, CA, and so much more.

EXAMPLE DAILY SCHEDULE
6:00 AM – 7:00 AM – HIKING OR YOGA
7:00 AM – 10:00 AM – BREAKFAST IS SERVED
10:00 AM – 6:00 PM – PERFORMERS AND ONGOING OPEN ACTIVITIES
12:00 PM – 2:00 PM – LUNCH IS SERVED
2:00 PM – 3:00 PM – CAMP MARS OPENING CEREMONY
3:00 PM – 6:00 PM – ACTIVITIES OPEN
5:00 PM – 7:00 PM – DINNER IS SERVED
7:30 PM – 10:00 PM – THIRTY SECONDS TO MARS PERFORMANCE
11:00 PM – 1:00 AM – CAMPFIRE AND S'MORES
11:00 PM – 1:00 AM – NIGHT HIKE
11:00 PM – 1:00 AM – LATE NIGHT OUTDOOR MOVIE
11:00 PM – 1:00 AM – STAR GAZING

Forget Total Maddens. Why doesn't a reality show about THIRTY SECONDS TO MARS' SUMMER CAMP exist?

Real enchiladas you feel good about eating

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:
I want to wear something to said weddings that's interesting but won't irk the bride or groom's parents.

Jon: $68.99 for the suit, $31.95 for the tie, plus shipping and tailoring.
Drew: Bruh, what are you doing? Buy a suit you can get more than two wears out of. A red suit is not versatile at all.
Jon: [grumbling] Why do you have to be so practical?

Jon: That tie on a red shirt in a black suit doesn't work.

Jon: I wish I had money to burn.
Drew:

Russell:

Russell: Plus a Superman undershirt.
Jon: Heh. If only I could grow a mustache to conceal.