Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

2. Pop Cipher (The Magicians, S03E01)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "Leroy, listen, I have to tell you something. No one's ever called me 'James Woods.'"
    "I'm confused. I was under the impression they called you 'James Woods' based on your love of the woods." (Ghosted, S01E09)
  • "What's his name?"
    "Leave."
    "As in…Schreiber?" (Ghosted, S01E09)
  • Fred Armisen singing along to "I Try" by Macy Gray while a human head microwaves in the background (The Last Man on Earth, S04E09)
  • Martin Short (The Last Man on Earth, S04E09)
  • "It's like Matisse mixed with Shakespeare with just a liiittle Rhea Perlman on top." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E09)
  • "I would much rather be tired than poor." (Shark Tank, S09E15)
  • Braun Strowman trying to murder Brock Lesnar and Kane with a grappling hook (WWE Raw, 01-08-18)
  • "[You're the] old lace to my arsenic." (Marvel's Runaways, S01E10)
  • ♫ Francis and the Lights – "Friends [feat. Bon Iver]" (Marvel's Runaways, S01E10)
  • Marvel's Runaways Season Grade: C
  • "British men are basically American women." (LA to Vegas, S01E02)
  • "Personal hero? Latinos. They've been through so mucho." (LA to Vegas, S01E02)
  • "I just don't understand, Ronnie. We spoke every day. There was flirting and chemistry and suggestive emojis."
    "That wasn't suggestive. I really was washing an eggplant." (LA to Vegas, S01E02)
  • "'YOLO.' So true." (LA to Vegas, S01E02)
  • "We both agreed Billings was a mistake." (LA to Vegas, S01E02)
  • "A 'u up?' text might as well be a Chris Brown song." (Grown-ish, S01E03)
  • "Watching you talk to hot girls is like watching a white person try to explain why all lives matter." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "You're a talking penis!"
    "You're a talking penis!"
    "You're a talking penis!"
    "You're a talking penis!"
    "You're a talking penis!"
    "Everybody here thinks you're a talking penis." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "Why don't you just try to find something, like, more in your wheelhouse? Have you thought about, like, being a notary or something?" (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "What's up with that shirt? You sitting shiva?"
    "I taught him Jewish stuff." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "I haven't done under-the-pants stuff with a girl since my ska band broke up." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "I'm glad the job's working out."
    "Yeah, I love it. I've been getting tons of free clothes, but I always get free clothing."
    "Yeah, I have older siblings too." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "Hannah Montana Esther is dead. Welcome to Miley." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "The old guy I met online who paid me to eat macaroni wearing sweatpants turned out to be a total creep." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "How long does a quest like this take?"
    "A good…season. (The Magicians, S03E01)
  • "Kelly, I know from your autobiography that you didn't get your start in television until were 40. And Mary-Kelly, I know from your autobiography that you had sex with Wee Man." (Great News, S02E11)
  • "I'm just finishing an e-mail that I will have sent 100 years ago." (Great News, S02E11)
  • Bill Murray as Steve Bannon (Saturday Night Live, S43E10)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek

We Dat's

on

// New Orleans, LA

Raising Cane's is the "official chicken of the New Orleans Saints."

Anyone else ever order restaurant food to go and eat it sitting on a curb outside the restaurant to bypass queueing for a seat inside? #williemaesscotchhouse


The logo sends mixed signals.

The fuck? Every channel on this hotel treadmill is CNN.

Jon: I've never Lyft-ed this much. I could really use that $100 I lost at the casino.
Drew: Ride a bike.
Jon: Are you having a laugh? Sidewalks here are like black diamond trails for wheels, and streets are at least a blue square.

N.O.P.S.I.

on

// New Orleans, LA

My Lyft driver isn't sure where to stop.

Lyft Driver: You going to Cooter Brown's?
Jon: No. Mr. Chill's. The neighbouring building.


A combination I had not seen before.


Ehh…

Oh, but Izzo's was founded by a Mexican, so it's okay, like how black people can say "ni—


The Hairy Diaries.

Laissez les bons temps rouler

on

// New Orleans, LA

My Lyft driver sees my destination.

Lyft Driver: Oh, that's near Jacques-Imo's, one of my favourite restaurants. My girlfriend is a server there.
Jon: Does she ever bring you leftover food?
Lyft Driver: No. I should beat her.
Jon: [Drew Scanlon reaction]

Does this casino not have baccarat?

Jon: Excuse me. Does this casino have baccarat?
Casino Employee: Heh. Follow me.

He leads me to an annex.

Casino Employee: We call this the "Asian table section." Baccarat, pai gow, you can eat noodles…
Jon: Ah-so…

Smoke-free baccarat is odd.

I did not expect a casino in New Orleans to be smoke-free.

I also did not expect there to be only one casino – and by law.

Harrah's New Orleans is referred to in state statute as "the official gaming establishment," see Chp.10, Title 4 of Louisiana Revised Statutes.

It's like if Denver only had one dispensary.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

Year nine.


1. Dan Le Batard vomits on air from Stugotz eating photo (The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz, 01-04-18)

Stray Observations

  • "I'm a walking medical disaster, Frank."
    "Well, that's why God invented Canada." (Shameless, S08E08)
  • "Do you think it's weird that all the girls you've liked have been white?"
    "But that's different. See, that's not a preference. That's just what's around." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E11)
  • "Black Jesus, please guide my hand to the nougat." (Black-ish, S04E10)
  • "Let me let you in on a little secret: Rules are for ugly people." (Black-ish, S04E10)
  • "I hate to say this, but it sounds like you got yourself an 'urb.' An unruly bitch." (Black-ish, S04E10)
  • "You were in a band?"
    "Yeah. The Johnson Five. I was the most talented, and the most troubled. That's why I died so young." (Black-ish, S04E10)
  • "For the new trick, Pascal the Magnificent wants to make me disappear and then reappear in Jerusalem. But I don't know. I don't like hummus." (LA to Vegas, S01E01)
  • "He's not a Saudi prince. He's just a Mexican with a pet falcon." (LA to Vegas, S01E01)
  • "It's not a bottle opener, you caveman, it's a piece of art."
    "No, that's a bottle-opening scrotum." (The Mick, S02E10)
  • Jennie Garth (The Mick, S02E10)
  • "Television is the lowest form of art, okay? It's a rung below macaroni jewelry." (The Mick, S02E10)
  • "What a Brenda, right?" (The Mick, S02E10)
  • "People don't get a lot of cool stuff. Right? Like uni and, uh, John Cougar Mellencamp." (The Mick, S02E10)
  • "Okay, we got to figure out something, because I am going to that gala or I am getting my thermos signed." (The Mick, S02E10)
  • "Hot tip: Most of the young, eligible, Jewish guys hang out right over there. We call that area 'Little Boca.'" (Grown-ish, S01E01)
  • "Oh, hey, Taylor. You got any questions for the Pustule Brothers?" (Speechless, S02E11)
  • "Actually, I think Kenneth wants to…
    "Strip with teens? Oh, no, he doesn't." (Speechless, S02E11)


(9-1-1, S01E01)


(9-1-1, S01E01)

  • "That was 'She Hates Me' by Puddle of Mudd. Coming up next: 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.'" (The Good Place, S02E08)
  • "We're about to close it down with one last song: 'She Hates Me' by Puddle of Mudd and 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer' played at the same time." (The Good Place, S02E08)
  • "Surprise!"
    "Ah! Tiny Dunkirk!" (Great News, S02E10)
  • "He gave me a gift I can never repay: A $25 gift card to Coconuts." (Great News, S02E10)
  • "Chuck? Oh, no, are you the new Hedwig? I told you you don't have the chops." (Great News, S02E10)
  • "Please help me, Portia. I'll give you anything. How about a $25 gift card to Coconuts?" (Great News, S02E10)
  • "Still with us, Bo Jefferson, fiscally conservative van resident. And on the liberal side, daniel with a lowercase D." (Great News, S02E10)
  • "Do you think it's gonna explode?"
    "It's not a film. [If this was a film, we'd probably be American.]" (The End of the Fucking World, S01E02)
  • The End of the Fucking World Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clips of the Year

on

1. Top Chef
2. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
3. Portlandia
4. The Young Pope
5. The Young Pope
6. Powerless
7. The Young Pope
8. WWE Raw
9. Homeland
10. Legion
11. The Walking Dead
12. Legion
13. Nirvanna the Band the Show
14. Bates Motel
15. The Amazing Race
16. WWE Raw
17. Brooklyn Nine-Nine
18. The Leftovers
19. American Gods
20. American Gods
21. Fargo
22. Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter
23. Twin Peaks
24. Fargo
25. The Trip [to Spain]
26. Claws
26. Claws
27. WWE Raw
28. Tour de Pharmacy
29. The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
30. Twin Peaks
31. Insecure
32. WWE SmackDown LIVE
33. Game of Thrones
34. Claws
35. Twin Peaks
36. WWE Raw
37. Twin Peaks
38. American Vandal
39. Nathan For You: A Celebration
40. Nathan For You
41. Black-ish
42. Nathan For You
43. Big Mouth
44. American Horror Story
45. Wendy
46. Vice Principals / Nathan For You [tie]
47. Nirvanna the Band the Show
48. Future Man
49. The Walking Dead
50. Desus and Mero
51. Jean-Claude Van Johnson
52. Desus and Mero

Stray Observations

  • "It'll be like those two girls' night out movies that came out at the same time, only ours will be as good as the black one." (Great News, S02E09)
  • "Did I look thin? Hmm? Like, wheatgrass yogurt thin?" (Black Mirror, S04E01)
  • "Stealing my pussy is a red fucking line." (Black Mirror, S04E01)
  • "King of space right here." (Black Mirror, S04E01)
  • "Okay, I added the boner." (Black Mirror, S04E06)
  • "We didn't have that whole immersive VR environment shizzle back then." (Black Mirror, S04E06)
  • "Monkey just needs a minute to get used to how things are gonna be." (Black Mirror, S04E06)
  • "Are you gonna be a good toy?"
    "Monkey loves you."
    "You better." (Black Mirror, S04E06)
  • Black Mirror Season Grade: C+

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

2017 AR™TV World Drama Championship Reigns
Stranger Things – 30 weeks [carried over from 2016]
The Young Pope – 3 weeks
Legion – 7 weeks
Better Call Saul – 1 week
The Leftovers – 2 weeks
Better Call Saul – 1 week
Fargo – 1 week
American Gods – 1 week
Twin Peaks – 1 week
Fargo – 3 weeks
Twin Peaks – 6 weeks
Game of Thrones – 1 week
Twin Peaks – 6 weeks
The Deuce – 14 weeks and counting

2017 AR™TV World Comedy Championship Reigns
Atlanta – 22 weeks [carried over from 2016]
Baskets – 17 weeks
The Carmichael Show – 9 weeks
Rick and Morty – 1 week
Insecure – 1 week
Rick and Morty – 5 weeks
Nathan For You – 14 weeks and counting

Looking forward:

#clipoftheweek