Eater's Digest: Philadelphia 4

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Previously on Adam Riff™: Eater's Digest: Philadelphia 3

October 2016
beiler's bakery / itv / the sidecar bar and grille / skygarten / royal sushi and izakaya / south philly barbacoa / stock / little baby's ice cream / destination dogs

A low-key birthday jaunt.

Apple Fritter (Beiler's Bakery)
—A warm Beiler's apple fritter should replace the dying Great Barrier Reef as one of the seven natural wonders of the world.

Beef Fat Biscuit (ITV)
scallion honey butter
—Comparable to the stellar biscuits at Momofuku Daishō.


Chicken Liver Stroopwafel (ITV)
plum agrodolce

^ Chicken liver and jam is a tried-and-true combination. I had never had it in stroopwafel form, though.

Adobo Sidecar Wings (The Sidecar Bar and Grille)
ginger-cilantro kalamansi sauce, scallions
—Seemingly every time I visit Philadelphia, Drew's chef friends happen to be cooking stuff that he conceived. This visit: Filipino wings.

Jon: Are there any foods that you dislike?
Drew: Hmm…
[one minute passes]
Drew: Pears.
Jon:

Hidden inside a Queen Village red brick row house, (Royal Sushi and Izakaya) is the darkest [visually] restaurant I have ever been to. Imagine eating Japanese food in the climactic fight of Ang Lee's Hulk.

I wanted to try (Little Baby's Ice Cream)'s Earl Grey Sriracha, Everything Bagel, and Ranch flavours, but the only intriguing flavour available when I stopped by was

Cheese Board Ice Cream (Little Baby's Ice Cream)
melted aged cheddar and chevre cheese ice cream, crushed crackers, toasted pine nuts, local triple berry jam

Anyway, Weckerly's is better.

(Stock) is one of Eater's "essential Philadelphia restaurants," and to my surprise, its proprietor didn't bother to build out a kitchen. Food is cooked on freakin' hot plates.

Vietnamese Iced Coffee (Stock)

♫ Philly has a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb
Philly has a little lamb joint serving barbaco…a ♫

(South Philly Barbacoa), Bon Appétit's sixth best new restaurant in America for 2016, is like Philadelphia's Pizzeria Beddia – wonky hours, limited menu, cash only.


Lamb Barbacoa Taco (South Philly Barbacoa)
Lamb Pancita Taco (South Philly Barbacoa)

^ Consomé (South Philly Barbacoa)
—Made with lamb drippings.

Previously on Adam Riff™:

O.M.G. Burger (LVB Burgers)
duck burger stuffed with muenster cheese, smoked ketchup, heirloom tomato, watercress, roasted duck mayo
—Where I began to wonder if I actually love duck, or if I just love Peking duck. [to be continued in Philadelphia]


Mighty Duck [Anaheim / SNA] (Destination Dogs)
duck sausage, duck confit in hoisin sauce, chicharrones, grilled scallions, sesame seeds
—More duck on duck, and more…nothingness. I fed most of this dog to dogs.

MISSED CONNECTIONS

One Bite in Bangkok [Thailand, BKK] (Destination Dogs)
python sausage, cucumber salad, tomato pepper jelly, crushed peanuts, cilantro
—Python sausage.

The Underdog [Australia, SYD] (Destination Dogs)
kangaroo sausage, frizzled onions, vegemite aioli
—Kangaroo sausage with Vegemite mayo.


Racist food truck?

Tempura Cheese Curds (Double Knot)
yum yum sauce, cilantro

Duck Scrapple Bao Bun (Double Knot)
maple teriyaki, cucumber, chili


Rice Krispy Sushi (Sampan)
vanilla ice cream, chocolate sauce, peanut

Chocolate Stout Vinegar Custard (Martha)
almond crumble, malted milk powder

Baba's Pumpkin Pie Kombucha (Martha)

#eatersdigest

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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47. Shawshank Redemption Role Play (The Last Man on Earth, S03E06)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations


Heh. (The Simpsons, S28E07)

  • Chet Haze! (Shameless, S07E07)
  • "I just slipped my dick down your throat and you thanked me for it." (The Walking Dead, S07E04)
  • "Vaya con Dios, motherfuckers." (Westworld, S01E07)
  • "You think I'm scared of death? I've done it a million times, and I'm fucking great at it. How many times have you died?" (Westworld, S01E07)
  • "I read a theory once that the human intellect was like peacock feathers – just an extravagant display intended to attract a mate. All of art, literature, a bit of Mozart, William Shakespeare, Michelangelo, and the Empire State Building – just an elaborate mating ritual. Maybe it doesn't matter that we have accomplished so much for the basest of reasons. But, of course, the peacock can barely fly. It lives in the dirt, pecking insects out of the muck, consoling itself with its great beauty. I have come to think of so much of consciousness as a burden, a weight, and we have spared them that. Anxiety, self-loathing, guilt. The hosts are the ones who are free. Free, here, under my control." (Westworld, S01E07)
  • "Kinda feel like masturbating." (The Last Man on Earth, S03E06)
  • "Homely Lonelys – these are plain women who don't have grandkids." (The Last Man on Earth, S03E06)
  • "You still got errands?!" (Insecure, S01E06)
  • "I can't see shit behind this big ass hat." (Insecure, S01E06)
  • Nia Jax (WWE Raw, 11-14-16)
  • "Chince McMahon." (WWE Raw, 11-14-16)
  • "How drunk is he?"
    "Remember the night they cancelled Bunheads?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E06)
  • "Look at me. So drunk, I'm alliterating, like a beatnik." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E06)
  • Holt's obsession with balloon arches (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E06)
  • "Just so we're clear, when you say you're a 7 breathing down a 6's back, are you referring to Cece? Is she the 6?" (New Girl, S06E06)
  • "I used to crush at the gym, and now I'm just mediocre, like early Beyoncé. Nobody will say it, but you know it's true." (New Girl, S06E06)
  • Joe Manganiello (New Girl, S06E06)
  • "All white people want is a sense of a community." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E05)
  • "Who put you up to this? Your white friends? No more white friends! New rule!" (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E05)
  • "P to the E to the Eabo Bryson." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E05)


(Channel Zero, S01E06)

  • Channel Zero Season Grade: C+
  • "Are you sure your dad's not gay?"
    "What? Are you insane? My— That's the most ridiculous thing I think I've ever heard. He watches Top Gear." (Crazyhead, S01E05)
  • "Stroke of midnight, on Halloween, she'll act as a gateway. The legions of Hell will pour into this world."
    "Are they really gonna pour out of her twat like on the poster?"
    "No. That was a screw-up by the designer." (Crazyhead, S01E05)
  • "Yeah, now who's the dickhead with a canoe on his car?" (Crazyhead, S01E05)
  • "It was my sanctuary, to relax."
    "Shut up. It's where you hid your side-chicks."
    "Side-chicks are very relaxing." (Black-ish, S03E07)
  • "Why did I think you liked Furbys?" (Rectify, S04E04)
  • Masturbatory ending (Rectify, S04E04)
  • "Did we get cleared to show Jewish butt?" (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E05)
  • "I dreamt that I showed Jewish butt." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E05)
  • "Name one family that's just a bunch of cells."
    "Osmosis Jones." (You're the Worst, S03E12)
  • ♫: Martha – "Ice Cream and Sunscreen" (You're the Worst, S03E12)
  • "It looks like it should be screaming at an old lady in an Aphex Twin video." (You're the Worst, S03E13)
  • You're the Worst Season Grade: C+
  • American Horror Story Season Grade: C+

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

#clipoftheweek

Let's just kiss 'til we're naked

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Previously on Adam Riff™ (Sep 2014):

I have never seen it, but Training Day seems like an odd film for marketers to keep referencing.


over a decade of training day references

I like how End of Watch is deemed worthy enough to be referenced, but not so much that it can't just say "from the writer and director of End of Watch."

Antoine Fuqua has since become the director of Training Day and The Equalizer. You know, that cultural touchstone THE EQUALIZER.

The trailer for Allied bills Robert Zemeckis as "director of Forrest Gump, Cast Away, and Flight."

The trailer for The Walk, Zemeckis' previous film, also bills him as "director of Forrest Gump, Cast Away, and Flight."

Forrest Gump and Cast Away I get, but Flight?

Evidently, Denzel is the Trump of cinema.

Q: How do you market a film by someone who hasn't done anything in 16 years?


A: List his oeuvre.

If Warren Beatty can be billed as the filmmaker of Bonnie and Clyde – a 49-YEAR-OLD film – then surely Robert Zemeckis can be billed as the director of Back to the Future.

And haphazardly, their piss is very flammable

on


Mensch on a Bench as an alternative to Elf on a Shelf – sure.


Mensch on a Bench family? Ehh…

More Jewish plush novelties is not how I would diversify. The market for Jewish plush novelties is just Jews, and only ones who are keen on Jewish plush novelties. You are returning to a decreasingly potable well that is no more than 0.19% of Earth's population.

Why are NyQuil and NyQuil Severe separate products? Why would I buy regular NyQuil if a stronger NyQuil is also available? Is NyQuil like antibiotics? Can I develop a tolerance to NyQuil?


Why is Doritos' branding futuristic? They're tortilla chips.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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46. Iguana vs. Snakes (Planet Earth II, S02E01)

Honourable Mention

  • Maeve tours Delos' headquarters (Westworld, S01E06)
  • Sam's chaotic morning (Better Things, S01E10)
  • Mark and Chris fight (Shark Tank, S08E08)
  • Walking Dead Chappelle's Show (Saturday Night Live, S42E06)
  • Football Party (Saturday Night Live, S42E06)

Stray Observations

  • "Vermont is nice…"
    "It's beautiful. The cows love dying there." (Bob's Burgers, S07E04)
  • "I'm gonna make like a tree and fuck you!" (Ash vs. Evil Dead, S02E06)
  • "There's my powerful vagina." (Ash vs. Evil Dead, S02E06)
  • Who's the Boss? (The Walking Dead, S07E03)
  • ♫: The Jam – "Town Called Malice" (The Walking Dead, S07E03)
  • ♫: Piano "Fake Plastic Trees" by Radiohead (Westworld, S01E06)
  • ♫: Vitamin String Quartet – "Motion Picture Soundtrack" by Radiohead (Westworld, S01E06)
  • "Is she becoming, like, a fuckin'…hentai thing with you now?" (Westworld, S01E06)
  • "If you're getting fucked either way, go with the lucrative version." (Westworld, S01E06)
  • The Gallagher Home for the Homeless interior looks like Sheila's house (Shameless, S07E06)
  • ♫: Dylan Kelly – "Silver Lining" (Shameless, S07E06)
  • Fire sprinkler shower (The Last Man on Earth, S03E05)
  • "Roscoe's got some talent!" (Insecure, S01E05)
  • ♫: Problem – "D2B [feat. Bad Lucc and The Homegirl]" (Insecure, S01E05)
  • "I always thought it was about a girl named Sicario." (Insecure, S01E05)
  • ♫: St. Beauty – "Borders" (Insecure, S01E05)
  • ♫: Wall of Voodoo – "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash (People of Earth, S01E03)
  • "Seriously? It looks like they're pouring out of her lady hole."
    "I thought that was the obvious place. You think it should be her asshole?" (Crazyhead, S01E04)
  • "Gates of hell equals vagina." (Crazyhead, S01E04)
  • "Feelings have to run both ways. Otherwise, it's just like…masturbating into naan bread."
    "Why naan bread?"
    "Had an Indian takeaway last night. Some leftovers. Seemed a shame to waste it." (Crazyhead, S01E04)
  • "You're all terrible people, with the saddest tan lines I've ever seen coming off any Hawaiian flight." (Speechless, S01E06)
  • "All this talk of celibacy and male friendship. Meanwhile, I'm harbouring the nipple king of Lafayette High." (Speechless, S01E06)
  • "Is it a baby? I won't love it Ray, I'm sorry." (Speechless, S01E06)
  • "Jack took one look at what I did for a living and decided to spend the afternoon with a stranger doing maintenance work on the huh-vac."
    "It's H-vac." (Black-ish, S03E06)


(American Horror Story, S06E09)


(Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E04)

  • "Oh, I know…" drop (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E04)
  • "Jon, why do you always say 'I know' to dogs?"
    "I don't know. [dog barks] Right? I know… I don't know… I know… I don't know… I know…" (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E04)
  • "I was ready to unleash my plan and turn this poo frown upside brown." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E04)
  • "You were great on Girls, by the way." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E04)


(Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E04)

  • Furbys (Rectify, S04E03)
  • "Or me, from Family Guy?" (South Park, S20E07)
  • "Miller, Von Miller." (South Park, S20E07)
  • "Ohh, he's pressin' pickle!" (South Park, S20E07)
  • Long unbroken takes (You're the Worst, S03E11)


(Jeopardy!, 11-10-16)

  • ♫: Laurie Anderson – "O Superman" (Better Things, S01E10)
  • Better Things Season Grade: D+
  • "What about undocumented immigrants?"
    "Oh, they're not going nowhere. Come on, man, you act like everybody trying to pick their own strawberries." (Saturday Night Live, S42E06)
  • Inside SNL – heh (Saturday Night Live, S42E06)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

#clipoftheweek

All the spoils of a wasted life

on

Rory: Why are you doing this?
Jon: It came to me in my sleep last night.
Rory: That Wes Anderson is the white M. Night Shyamalan?

Wide Awake = Bottle Rocket
The Sixth Sense = Rushmore
Unbreakable = The Royal Tenenbaums
Signs = The Life Aquatic
The Village = The Darjeeling Limited
Lady in the Water = Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Happening = Moonrise Kingdom
The Last Airbender = The Grand Budapest Hotel
After Earth = Untitled stop-motion film about dogs

Jon: Hmm… Fantastic Mr. Fox (haven't seen) probably isn't Wes' Lady in the Water (also haven't seen), but The Darjeeling Limited is definitely his Village, and Moonrise Kingdom is definitely his Happening.
Rory: Swap The Royal Tenenbaums and The Life Aquatic.

Rory: Ha. The episode titles for Insecure:

Jon: Hmm…

Bottle Rocket = Guilty as Fuck
Rushmore = Insecure as Fuck
The Royal Tenenbaums = Broken as Fuck
The Life Aquatic = Messy as Fuck
The Darjeeling Limited = Racist as Fuck
Fantastic Mr. Fox = Shady as Fuck? (haven't seen)
Moonrise Kingdom = Thirsty as Fuck
The Grand Budapest Hotel = Real as Fuck