Adam Riff™

11. Curb Your Judaism (History of the World: Part II, S01E02)

Honourable Mention

• The Yalta Conference (History of the World: Part II, S01E05)
• Benjamin Bratt reciting the bridge to "Hook" by Blues Traveler (Poker Face, S01E10)
• Waffle House (Saturday Night Live, S48E16)

Stray Observations

• "Don't give Jesus my credit." (Abbott Elementary, S02E18)
• "Please be in because I just bought a new SodaStream."
  "Oh, sick. I have a surplus of CO₂ cartridges. …Not what you think." (Abbott Elementary, S02E18)
• "Nothing good has ever come from nerds whispering." (Abbott Elementary, S02E18)
• "Tyrese Maxey is my hall pass." (Abbott Elementary, S02E18)
• "Nobody plays Drought? It's the most award-winning independent board game out." (Abbott Elementary, S02E18)
• "I know keeping those kids off the pipe is only a small piece of what we do." (Abbott Elementary, S02E18)
• "Frankie a ho, and hos make money. I like money, Todd." (Snowfall, S06E04)
• "Todd, nigga?" (Snowfall, S06E04)
• Hook (Poker Face, S01E10)
• </Poker Face, S01>
• "Stephen Douglas' dick hole!" (History of the World: Part II, S01E01)
• "No, we're the harmonizin' R&B group, Bolsheviks II Mensheviks. ♪ I'll make borscht for you ♪" (History of the World: Part II, S01E03)
• "I'll start a Kugel invite, okay?" (History of the World: Part II, S01E03)
• "Don't worry, I know CCCPR!" (History of the World: Part II, S01E04)
• "I think the only move here is to get back on Harriet's train and go to Canada, learn manners, get healthcare, pretend we like poutine."
  "Oh, I can't! I can't pretend I like lukewarm cheese curds." (History of the World: Part II, S01E05)
• "Have you been watching anything good recently?"
  "Oh, I've been, uh, binging campfires."
  "Mm."
  "You?"
  "I tried watching rivers, but I just couldn't get into 'em." (History of the World: Part II, S01E06)
• "♪ Give cash, give cash / Or you can go to Hell and burn the fսck up ♪" (History of the World: Part II, S01E06)
• "I think, respectfully, you need to, uh, pick up your accent, mate. You're from Nazareth."
  "Mm, no. I'm from North Carolina. Nobody told me that when I signed up for this, I had to have a Liverpoolian accent!" (History of the World: Part II, S01E07)
• Mini The State reunion (History of the World: Part II, S01E08)
• "Hey, is that mole on your face moving around?"
  "What mole?" (History of the World: Part II, S01E08)
• Blake Griffin as Muhammad Ali (History of the World: Part II, S01E08)
• "Wow. Jesus is bussin'!" (History of the World: Part II, S01E08)
• "Can I have a piece of cake before I go?"
  Marla Gibbs: "Fսck you." (History of the World: Part II, S01E08)
• "I am Joot." (History of the World: Part II, S01E08)
• </History of the World: Part II, S01>
• "From now on, you go to school, you go to soccer practice, and then you come home. Nothing else."
  "I'm going to Japanese Breakfast next week."
  "Well, it looks like you're gonna have to eat it at home."
  "It's a band, asshole."
  "Well, with an ironic name like that, they must be fantastic."
  "They fucking are. " (Shrinking, S01E08)
• "Leave this right here for you."
  "Thank you, brother. You can take that thing back and split it right down the middle." (BMF, S02E09)
• "You so hell-bent on revenge that you gonna go kill the only bitch that loved your Black ass?"
  "Don't call her no bitch!"
  "Well, she's a dead bitch now." (BMF, S02E09)
• "I thought that Charles was building a shed for you. But instead he was patching up your damn dry-ass walls." (BMF, S02E09)

(BMF, S02E09)

• "So what are you gonna do, just pick this old broccoli head-ass boy over me? How could you not see that I've always loved you? I mean, I married you, and it wasn't to help this old string bean head-ass boy over here. He's not worthy of you. Yeah, he's tall, but he is goofy. Look at this bok choy body."
  "Bok choy— Hey, man, stop comparing me to vegetables. Look, I'm not about to just stand here and let you continue to disrespect me with your Potato Head-looking ass."
  "No, not a good got man. I taught you better than that." (Grand Crew, S02E02)
• "Could be a bigger turnout, but…it's a start. 'Big things have small beginnings.' – David, played by Michael Fassbender in Prometheus." (Party Down, S03E03)

(Party Down, S03E03)

10. The Anzellans (The Mandalorian, S03E01)

Honourable Mention

• Name the best live female singer of all time. (Family Feud, 27 Feb)

Stray Observations

• "That is such horseshit."
  "Flawless horseshit." (The Last of Us, S01E07)
• "What are you talking about, Riley? It's over."
  "It will be, but not yet. It ends this way for everyone sooner or later, right? Some of us just get there faster than others. But we don't quit. Whether it's two minutes or two days, we don't give that up. I don't wanna give that up. We can just be all poetic and shit and lose our minds together." (The Last of Us, S01E07)
• Droids holding up Greef's cape (The Mandalorian, S03E01)
• "Now that's using your head." (The Mandalorian, S03E01)
• How Bo is sitting on the throne (The Mandalorian, S03E01)
• "I've survived every trend – Spongebob, Adventure Time, gangsta Looney Tunes…" (Abbott Elementary, S02E17)
• Barbara's Mrs. Doubtfire and Jamaican accent (Abbott Elementary, S02E17)
• "I'm going to go to Bone Town with Mo, and then I'm going to break up with him."
  "Wow. Okay, well, that feels like too much information and also kind of cruel."
  "I know, but I figured if I got to do this, I might as well be full of meat and covered in sauce." (Abbott Elementary, S02E17)
• "Look, I loved Ed, Edd n Eddy, but that was elevated. You know, there are entire subreddits dedicated to the subtext of that show."
  "They're friends with a plank of wood with a face drawn on it." (Abbott Elementary, S02E17)
• "You're pretty dang defeatist for someone who votes third-party." (Abbott Elementary, S02E17)
• "Look, man, you can have my baby, but not my baby backs." (Abbott Elementary, S02E17)
• "And I did enjoy our time—"
  "Can I get some more ranch?" (Abbott Elementary, S02E17)
• "Well, I guess this Silly Sock brigade is this generation's Rug Vermin." (Abbott Elementary, S02E17)
• ♫: Sons of Maria – "Days of Blues" (South Park, S26E03)
• "I just needed to prove that my vagine worked."
  "Well, it works, Gaby. It's like a-a well-oiled machine."
  "Really?"
  "Yeah, it's humid and hospitable like Florida."
  "Hey, you can call my vagina any state, but you do not fucking call it Florida, you hear me?" (Shrinking, S01E07)
• "You and I will never have feelings for each other, so you got what's called a safe dick."
  "I don't know about 'safe.' I like to think of him as kind of a bad boy, you know? Like Neil Diamond or something."
  "You think your penis is a bad boy like Neil Diamond?"
  "I picked the wrong guy." (Shrinking, S01E07)
• "Did you get a new dog? What happened to Shit Rat?"
  "He was adopted by a family in Encino. They named him 'Cooper.'"
  "So, they're white?" (Shrinking, S01E07)
• "I have something to make you feel better."
  "What? Some pussy?" (BMF, S02E08)
• "You're gonna love where my lips go." (BMF, S02E08)
• "I can't find my rhythm with this vibrating bed. Maybe we should put in another quarter?" (BMF, S02E08)
• ♫: Run the Jewels – "Close Your Eyes [and Count to Fuck]" (Grand Crew, S02E01)
• "What's in these?"
  "Basic sheet cake done in an on-sale, store-bought style with a center of ripened Camembert." (Party Down, S03E02)
• "I took any gig. Secret weddings, illegal poker tournaments, goth raves, unpermitted underground brises, anything to keep Party Down afloat." (Party Down, S03E02)
• "I mean, the whole reason Haley Joel Osment grew a beard is 'cause he shot himself in the face with a pellet gun, high on K, trying to rob a Chipotle."
  "Wait, I saw Haley last month up close. His face was normal."
  "Okay, well, a different former child actor." (Party Down, S03E02)
• "What's with the card?"
  "Like, why is it weirdly big?"
  "No, this. What's 'Party Dowm'? With an M?"
  "Shit!" (Party Down, S03E02)
• ♫: Keir – "Boys Will Be Girls" (Wreck, S01E01)
• "She said I must've eaten something dodgy."
  "Did she now? Nurse is a fella. Nauseating, I know."
  "I didn't mean 'she.'"
  "He calls everyone 'she,' don't you? Because he's a homosexual."
  "Yep. Hey, girl! It's just our culture." (Wreck, S01E02)
• ♫: Orchestral "Thong Song" (Wreck, S01E02)
• "You don't say no to the mafia. You don't get a choice."
  "There's always a choice."
  "Trust me, Cormac, there isn't. You're white. That's the lowest difficulty setting." (Wreck, S01E03)
• </Wreck, S01>

9. Disengaged (Shrinking, S01E06)

Honourable Mention

• Angela Bassett did the thing (2023 EE BAFTA Film Awards, 19 Feb)
• Charles Flenory (BMF, S02E07)

Stray Observations

• Dina? (The Last of Us, S01E06)
• Teenagers watching The Goodbye Girl (The Last of Us, S01E06)
• ♫: EDM version of "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" (Abbott Elementary, S02E16)
• "Ooh. This seminar sounds awesome. It's called 'White Teacher, Black School.'"
  "Uh, yeah, I'm good on that. I already did four years of Black student, white school. Went to Penn, so…" (Abbott Elementary, S02E16)
• "Where you think you're going, Janet Whack-son?" (Abbott Elementary, S02E16)
• Sarcastic photographer (Abbott Elementary, S02E16)
• "Need to meet up."
  "What for?"
  "Nigga…" (Snowfall, S06E01)
• "And in that moment, I knew. Fuck Teddy, fuck the CIA, and fuck the government that supported them. I was gonna do whatever it would take to not only destroy him, but to make sure that he knew it was me, the inconsequential nigga, who did it." (Snowfall, S06E01)
• "We destroy ourselves for them." (Snowfall, S06E02)
• Hamburger phone (Snowfall, S06E02)
• "I tried to give you a legacy, something more than a subwoofer and a weight bench." (Snowfall, S06E02)
• Phil Tippett (Poker Face, S01E08)
• Maury paternity test (Poker Face, S01E08)
• "Whoever you are, come out, come out. I can smell your Hot Pockets." (Poker Face, S01E08)
• "Horse, who are you?" (Poker Face, S01E08)
• "Is that one of those sad 'you're fired' boxes?"
  "Yeah. You know, 40 years, man. She couldn't even look me in the eye when she did it."
  "Shit, man. I'm sorry, that's…"
  "I was sick of that basement, and I guess she was a murderer, so…time was right." (Poker Face, S01E08)
• RT: "Besides inspiring the milieu of the ep, Phil and his team designed and created the Orpheus Syndrome creatures and did the stop motion sequences at the end. Also some of the close-ups of Nolte's hands on the creatures are actually Phil's" (Poker Face, S01E08)
• "I can't drop everything I'm doing just because Narco Polo's back from his world travels." (BMF, S02E07)
• ♫: The Jackson 5 – "I'll Be There" (BMF, S02E07)
• "How do you know Mr. Bradway? Is it, uh, Hardier Boys or OC: The Return?" (Party Down, S03E01)
• "People just don't get poetic rock lyrics."
  "Mm."
  "You know? And that is sadly why The Doors never caught on." (Party Down, S03E01)
• "Manputer? Guyote?" (Party Down, S03E01)