Adam Riff™

28. Bird and Bunnies (Only Murders in the Building, S02E03)

Stray Observations

• Joseline (P-Valley, S02E05)
• ♫: O.T. Genasis – "CoCo" (P-Valley, S02E05)
• "Be careful of becoming a man's Barbie doll. He'll always find another one to buy." (P-Valley, S02E05)

(P-Valley, S02E05)

• "You might just need to get him a bіtch." (P-Valley, S02E05)
• "I'm finna go lay my ass in the hearse." (P-Valley, S02E05)
• "Them nasty lil' lɑp dɑnces you be doin' ain't no spectacle. They just a—"
  "Symbolic gesture, made to give the customers the upper hand. But the lady that really in control is me. Cuz they ain't gettin' none. I make 'em thank it, and thankin' is what make 'em cum. It's not nasty. It's charity." (P-Valley, S02E05)
• Derrick serving Keyshawn a hot dog (P-Valley, S02E05)
• "So…how you wanna be buried?" (P-Valley, S02E05)
• "We'll all be the drones?"
  "You're already drones. Humans will do anything as long as it confirms something they need to believe about themselves." (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E10)
• "You're about to become legend. I thought you were paying attention. Your little video started it. They're buzzing with the mystery. Like that computer guy in black turtlenecks. You'll be worshipped. You're the next him. You have to be."
  "Why do I have to be?"
  "Because when we make it back, if we make it back, someone has to stop them from slaughtering us when we land. Someone with actual power. Someone who is everything they wanna be."
  "Jesus Christ."
  "Exactly. Look what they did to him." (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E10)
• "That's some potent loathing." (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E10)
• </The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01>
• "Hey, yo, Luka Doncic, what's up with my bike?"
  "He probably means me." (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E03)
• "Yeah, you figure all that shit out, and you gon' report to my mans."
  "Your man… Is your mans one or two people?"
  "Man, and you gon' let him know how she doing in class."
  "Him. One person. Okay." (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E03)
• "This is your dick, yeah?"
  "Well, I'm blessed."
  "Okay." (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E03)
• "I-I, you know, I-I dropped him as my sponsor."
  "Why?"
  "Because he was just kind of talking at me. He wasn't really listening."
  "Yeah. I mean, it takes time. It's like a relationship, you know?"
  "I don't like those, either." (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E03)
• "I don't even got no bread left no more for my side bitches. One of them wanted to go to the club. I had to order bottles to the crib and flick the lights for two hours, in between them dumb ass commercials on Spotify every other song." (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E03)
• "So, Amy Schumer started renovating the penthouse without all the necessary permits. Thoughts?"
  "I heard it was very Z Gallerie circa '92 in Sting's place, so anything's better than that." (Only Murders in the Building, S02E03)
• "You know, I really think that I've leveled up since Tim's murder." (Only Murders in the Building, S02E03)
• "No human alive can resist the smell of fresh-fried paratha." (Ms. Marvel, S01E05)
• "Ammi, she's still not home."
  "You know, Magnum got lost once, I had him micro-chipped."
  "Okay, Ammi, Magnum is a dog. Kamala is a girl. Okay? Trust me, if it was legal, I would do it." (Ms. Marvel, S01E05)
• "If Kamala's phone is on your family plan, you can just log into your account and use the 'find my phone' feature to see where she is."
  "Like spyware for parents?"
  "Kind of."
  "Then why am I only just hearing about this?" (Ms. Marvel, S01E05)
• "Argon. [chuckles] It's one of my favorite elements. Yeah. [pause] So, you're a car guy as well?" (Ms. Marvel, S01E05)
• "Who's gonna do some Anal Angst with me?"
  "My doctor says I can't go hotter than Tabasco anymore." (Players, S01E07)
• "One time, I casually mentioned to Trevor that I liked Toblerone chocolate bars. Then the very next day, at lunch, he gave me a Toblerone."
  "She fucking loved them, so I was like, 'To show my love, I'm gonna get this girl a Toblerone every single day.'"
  "And then, he-he kept bringing Toblerones… And it just became like, 'Wha… Do you expect me to eat, like, a Toblerone a day?'"
  "Turns out, Toblerones are not the cheapest candy." (Players, S01E07)
• "I had just graduated and got this gig as a brand ambassador at a gaming expo called PAX West." (Players, S01E07)
• "How do I explain that to him?"
  "Rich folks don't explain shit." (The Old Man, S01E05)
• "No one likes Rob Roy more than Braveheart. No one."
  "That's what I keep telling him."
  "It is more historically accurate."
  "Says who, Liam Neeson?"
  "Edward the Longshanks did not die on the same day as William Wallace, and the Battle of Stirling didn't take place—"
  "God, it doesn't matter."
  "Yeah. One's a great movie, the other stars Jessica Lange." (Black Bird, S01E02)

(The Boys, S03E08)

• "You shut your fucking cake hole, Frenchie."
  "No. No! No, my cake hole will remain open!" (The Boys, S03E08)
• "You ain't no hero. You're just another racist piece of shit we can't seem to get rid of." (The Boys, S03E08)
• "Butcher can suck my shit." (The Boys, S03E08)
• </The Boys, S03>

27. Maximum Male Models (WWE Friday Night SmackDown, 1 Jul 2022)

Stray Observations

• ♫: Future – "Mask Off" (P-Valley, S02E04)
• ♫: Al Kapone – "Whoop That Trick" (P-Valley, S02E04)
• "Niggahs ain't shit" ringtone (P-Valley, S02E04)
• "Expressway's backed up worse than a bіtch on Percocets." (P-Valley, S02E04)
• "Yo' name must be T'Challa with alla that goin on witcho tongue."
  "It's actually Godfrey."
  "Oh, sh…he yell. Ain't that a white name?" (P-Valley, S02E04)
• "This world don't want a niggah, maine. Not a good niggah, bad niggah, rich niggah, poor niggah, big niggah, dumb niggah, pimp niggah, president niggah! Don't matter what kinda niggah you become, you still just a menace to society." (P-Valley, S02E04)
• Big Teak putting a condom on Lil Murda (P-Valley, S02E04)
• "Ooh, but there but for the grace of Yves Saint Rona." (P-Valley, S02E04)
• "What do you look like? Under this skin?"
  "You're obsessed with skin. Skin is one of your gods. You've created cults around it. Commit genocide. Murder every day in its name." (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E09)
• "What's up, man? You boxing now?"
  "Yeah. Well, you know, I need to. I got into a fight with one of my students, and, uh, she got lucky."
  "She?"
  "Yeah. I got one good punch in there, and then she knocked my ass out."
  "Man."
  "H-Here, here. Help me with this."
  "They fired you?"
  "No, no. But I'm-a wait till she graduates so we can fight legally." (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E02)
• "Yo, I got something for you though. For your son, you know? You said he liked YoungBoy."
  "Yeah, but I don't want him listening to him."
  "Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense." (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E02)
• "Is that a shadow? Or a tiny little bit of his balls?" (Only Murders in the Building, S02E02)
• Selena Gomez and Cara Delevingne making out to Billie Eilish (Only Murders in the Building, S02E02)
• "Amy Schumer is not a thief or a killer!" (Only Murders in the Building, S02E02)
• "Charles-Haden Savage. I wanted chest hair because of you."
  "And she got it, too."
  "As a little girl, I would practice my signature. 'Amy Schumer Savage.' A-S-S. Ass…"
  "Oh. Thank you?" (Only Murders in the Building, S02E02)
• "Get it out of my Sting's apartment!" (Only Murders in the Building, S02E02)
• "Even in death, Bunny figures out a way to give you the bird." (Only Murders in the Building, S02E02)
• "Is this not exotic enough for the ABCD's Instagram? You know, American-Born Confused Desi." (Ms. Marvel, S01E04)
• "Do all masked Americans have superpowers?"
  "How do you know I'm not Canadian?"
  "You're wearing a shirt that says 'New Jersey.' What is this look?"
  "No one likes the outfit, huh?" (Ms. Marvel, S01E04)
• "Why is the hot and sour soup so red?"
  "That's the color it's supposed to be. Did you Americans find a way to whitewash the Chinese food too?" (Ms. Marvel, S01E04)
• "I was just there on the corner there and I saw a tray of steaks drop on the fucking floor, and we've just put them back on the grill."
  "Chef, I figured it was going to kill the bacteria." (MasterChef, S12E06)
• "And for the life of me, I just, I can't understand why you would let her."
  "Do you have kids, Ray?"
  "No. No, I do not."
  "One day, if you do, when the time comes for them to break your heart, remember I told you this. The moment you let them in…you were asking for it." (The Old Man, S01E04)
• "Money is not just money. What it always is is a measure of discomfort. H… How badly do I want this? How badly do I want to avoid that? How much power do I have to make it so?" (The Old Man, S01E04)
• "The thing is, to be American means knowing you're the hero. So what do we do? We sweep all our filthy sh¡t under the rug and we tell ourselves a myth like Soldier Boy." (The Boys, S03E07)
• "I'm not letting you live. I'm keeping you alive." (The Boys, S03E07)
• "Better high than mental." (The Boys, S03E07)
• "We're your best pals, aren't we? We got you through that erection in the seventh grade, that Hard Rock Cafe m-m-massacre in Lagos. And by golly, we'll get you through this, too." (The Boys, S03E07)
• "If you're gonna act hysterical, I'm gonna slap you like I'm Connery." (The Boys, S03E07)
• "You're an idiot, Kevin."
  "Then why did Dave Eggers say I have a formidable intellect, huh?" (The Boys, S03E07)
• "Why would you say all those horrible things about me to Don Simpson?" (The Boys, S03E07)
• "We are already working on your new movie. Training A-Train. Gritty biopic. You're a roughneck gangbanger from the South Side slanging that yayo when a track coach… We're thinking Tom Hanks… Teaches you a more civilized way. We're out to Sir Julian Fellowes to write." (The Boys, S03E07)
• "I ditch Kate Bush, I draw his focus back to me." (Stranger Things, S04E08)
• "Okay, but the second you start to lift, I'm calling in Kate Bush." (Stranger Things, S04E08)
• "I mean, it just doesn't make sense."
  "What doesn't make sense?"
  "That was Dan Shelter. He graduated, like, two years ago."
  "So?"
  "So he's in college. Which means he was visiting on spring break. Fast Times was returned, like, I don't know, a week ago? Right? Unless she's got some horndog brother that we don't know about. Which is possible. Or she's just, like, really into Judge Reinhold?" (Stranger Things, S04E08)
• ♫: Journey – "Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) [Bryce Miller/Alloy Tracks Remix]" (Stranger Things, S04E08)
• "Are you… Are you real? Di… Did I make you?"
  "I'm real"
  "How?"
  "I piggybacked from a pizza dough freezer." (Stranger Things, S04E09)
• Hopper with a sword (Stranger Things, S04E09)
• Nancy with a shotgun (Stranger Things, S04E09)
• "Great. More hysteria. Just what we need."
  "Well, it's the news. Now indistinguishable from the tabloids." (Stranger Things, S04E09)
• </Stranger Things, S04>

26. Dr. Flowers (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E01)

Stray Observations

• ♫: Stunt N' Dozier – "Not the Thermometer Challenge [feat. Dej Rose Gold, Qwote, and Kingpin Skinny Pimp]" (P-Valley, S02E03)
• "Oh, this just the remix from TikTok."
  "Chile, the Tiketh Toketh?" (P-Valley, S02E03)
• "Where my chocolate-covered skrawberries?"
  "Niggah, you allergic."
  "Where my skrawberries and Benadryl, nіggah?" (P-Valley, S02E03)
• Big Freedia (P-Valley, S02E03)
• [applying hand sanitizer on face]
  "Niggah, that can't be right." (P-Valley, S02E03)
• "I'm a Gummy Bear [The Gummy Bear Song]" interrupting the Mercedes Experience (P-Valley, S02E03)
• "Aye… Don't go disrespectin' the guh, now."
  "Mm. Thank you, nіggah feminist." (P-Valley, S02E03)
• ♫: Crime Mob – "Knuck If You Buck" (P-Valley, S02E03)
• "Oh, he yell naw! Nineveh! Lysol her!"
  "I'm sprayin', I'm sprayin'!"
  "Lysol it all down."
  "Aw, shit. This some oil sheen." (P-Valley, S02E03)
• ♫: Ying Yang Twins – "Wait [The Whisper Song]" (P-Valley, S02E03)
• "Ain't nu'n wrong with fuckin' a strippah."
  "Marryin' one is when you got a problem." (P-Valley, S02E03)
• "This bitch must be good at Super Mario Brothers the way she done skipped levels." (P-Valley, S02E03)
• "Look, my homeboy told me 'bout this girl wit' the dіck-suckin' lips. Hell, I'm lookin' fuh the chewin' bitch. Aight?" (P-Valley, S02E03)
• "What I'm gone say then, Keyshawn?"
  "You the poet. You like, uh, like, uh, Shake-a-spure or somethin'. Just go with the 27th thought. Hm?"
  "Aight. Aight. Bet."
  "Niggah, 'I love you'? Thass the 27th thought?"
  "Keyshawn, thass the only thought." (P-Valley, S02E03)
• "Surprised you ain't wrapped that b¡tch yet."
  "I ain't her type."
  "What you mean, foo'?"
  "Keyshawn like 'em how I like my Air Forces – krispy white." (P-Valley, S02E03)
• ♫: Al Green – "Love and Happiness" (P-Valley, S02E03)
• All-brim Yankees hat (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E01)
• Pokémon Game Boy cartridge (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E01)
• "Kanye got you niggas wearing anything." (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E01)
• "Thank you, Congressman." (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S02E01)
• "So…is it true you started as, um, as a body double in pοrn?"
  "[while eating McDonald's] I have a big dick. No trouble getting it up, so yeah. But that came later. I started in gay peep shows."
  "Are you gay?"
  "I was at the time, but not anymore. I got bored with gay culture."
  "Why did you find it boring?"
  "They preach. I'm not interested in preaching. All I cared about was sticking my dick up their asses."
  "And then you, you lost interest?"
  "Well, they're all communists."
  "Well, I mean, not all of 'em."
  "All of them, believe me."
  "Okay, and, and you're not."
  "Me? No. No, I'm a… I'm a registered Republican. Fuck the liberal media elite, and all those Latinos stealing our jobs."
  "Ha-Have Latinos stolen a job of yours?"
  "Well, not exactly, but, I mean, look at the Academy Awards. It's all about Mexican directors and Koreans." (Irma Vep, S01E03)
• "I don't really know how I can help a group of ghosts and their average-looking son." (Ms. Marvel, S01E03)
• "The man who chooses family is never alone." (Ms. Marvel, S01E03)
• "Brown Jovi does it all." (Ms. Marvel, S01E03)
• "Fire? I gotta grab the money." (Ms. Marvel, S01E03)
• ♫: Bon Jovi – "Livin' on a Prayer" (Ms. Marvel, S01E03)
• Year of the Liam Neeson cameo (Obi-Wan Kenobi, S01E06)
• </Obi-Wan Kenobi, S01>
• "MeUndies Scrim Room" (Players, S01E05)

(The Old Man, S01E03)

• "That's when I realized there's two kinds of Americans. The kind so determined to be better, there's no progress they believe to be out of their reach. And the other kind, the monsters so determined to be right, there is no violence they believe to be unjustified to secure their ends." (The Old Man, S01E03)
• ♫: Refused – "New Noise" (The Bear, S01E01)
• "Any of you Incel-QAnon-4Chan…Snyder Cut motherfuckers wanna get out of line now?" (The Bear, S01E01)
• ♫: Serengeti and Kenny Segal – "Ajai Finale" (The Bear, S01E02)
• ♫: Van Morrison – "St. Dominic's Preview [Live]" (The Bear, S01E02)
• "Yo, yo, Cousin, what's up with all this gay-ass fruit?"
  "Homemade Ecto-Cooler, motherfucker." (The Bear, S01E04)

(The Bear, S01E04)

• ♫: John Cougar Mellencamp – "Check It Out" (The Bear, S01E04)
• "You got Latrina?" (The Bear, S01E05)
• ♫: John Mayer – "Last Train Home" (The Bear, S01E06)
• "This is Sufjan Stevens." (The Bear, S01E07)
• "Fuck¡n' Piven." (The Bear, S01E07)
• </The Bear, S01>
• "Vought Images" (The Boys, S03E06)
• "Bill Cosby is America's dad, and, tell you one thing, he wouldn't be caught dead in that pussy gear."
  "Lot to unpack there. Uh…"
  "The Cos. That's a real man. Holy shit, did he make some strong drinks." (The Boys, S03E06)
• "You melted my cock ring." (The Boys, S03E06)
• "Oh, my God, your mouth is amazing. It's like a velvet vacuum draining my balls." (The Boys, S03E06)
• "Oh. That's so sweet. Uh, just, I got to give my asshоlе a breather. You know?" (The Boys, S03E06)

Looking ahead: