Adam Riff™

44. Panic! at the Silent Disco (Chucky, S01E03)

Harley Quinn bleeped "cunt" too, and it's a streaming show.

Honourable Mention

• Celebrity Booze Taste Test (Desus and Mero, 24 Oct 21)

Stray Observations

• "Which Coney Island did you hit?"
  "Lafayette."
  "I'm an American guy myself."
  "That explains things." (BMF, S01E05)
• "Who the fuck was watching cartoons?"
  "Me. I fucking love Bugs Bunny." (BMF, S01E05)
• "My daddy had a saying: Detroit ain't about open hands. We about closed fists." (BMF, S01E05)
• Saddam Hussein as Shiv's contact photo for her father (Succession, S03E02)
• "I don't really wanna go to Congress again. I'm kinda too young to be in Congress so much, you know?" (Succession, S03E02)
• Trojan horse delivery (Succession, S03E02)
• "I hope that you're not anxious that you've, you know, chained yourself to a fire hydrant that spews out cultural insensitivity and sperms." (Succession, S03E02)
• "We flew back scheduled, so that was just delightful." (Succession, S03E02)
• "It's good to know we don't have an unbalanced love portfolio." (Succession, S03E02)
• "I found his performance histrionic and meretricious. The man is a self-regarding popinjay." (Succession, S03E02)
• "We're fat-fingered fucks and we can only live on cream." (Succession, S03E02)
• "It's a stretch? It's a fucking scrotum over a timpani drum." (Succession, S03E02)
• "Oh, no, no, no, no. These, these are relevant donuts." (Succession, S03E02)
• "You're not wanted!"
  "Like he hasn't heard that enough in his life." (Succession, S03E02)
• "I think you're gonna like Pugh. He's incredibly intransigent." (Succession, S03E02)
• ♫: Too $hort – "Blow the Whistle" (Insecure, S05E01)
• "What the fuck? 'She had the best stanky leg.' And 'always carried a purse.' Who would remember that and why?" (Insecure, S05E01)
• "Photos on an app. Invent that shit. Call it 'Issa-gram.'" (Insecure, S05E01)
• "Oh, y'all ain't got love' for Pac? Let it be known then." (Insecure, S05E01)
• Reggae Gold (Insecure, S05E01)
• "Sorry, ma'am."
  "Y'all okay."
  "Wait. We at ma'am status now?" (Insecure, S05E01)
• Netflix (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E01)
• "Trump has really ruined it for all Don Jrs, hasn't he?" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E01)
• Super Dave's brother (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E01)
• "Oh, I got my Jews confused a little bit."
  "I got my Jews confused?" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E01)
• "Oh, fuck you, Albert." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E01)
• ♫: "Las Mañanitas" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E01)
• "But I know Marsha Lifshitz is that girl right there eating those leftover tacos." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E01)
• "[sighs] So much tsuris." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E01)
• "Albert Brooks is a COVID hoarder." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E01)
• "Shanda! A shanda!" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E01)
• "I've never dated a Clipper."
  "Fuckin' dig it." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E01)

(Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E01)

• "Don't touch the fucking Corn Pops!" (Y: The Last Man, S01E09)
• Jake's reaction to Devon putting a hand on his shoulder (Chucky, S01E03)
• "I thought you were watching Westworld."
  "Chucky says life's too short. He wants to watch the news." (Chucky, S01E03)
• "We got to ask Clinton the tough questions."
  "What do you suggest, Kavanaugh?"
  "If Monica Lewinsky says you ejaculated into her mouth on two separate occasions, would she be lying?" (American Crime Story, S03E08)
• "You know, after we won in, uh, in '92, Hillary and I did a…like a kind of victory lap from state to state. You know, and we were driving through her hometown in Park Ridge, and the limo runs out of gas. So, you know, we pull into this little station, and, uh, this guy notices Hill. And he says, 'Hey, Hillary, remember me? We used to date.' And, uh, as we pull away, you know, I turn to her all proud, and I said, 'I bet you're glad you married the president and not that guy.' And you know what she said? Tell him, honey."
  "If I had married that guy, he would be president." (American Crime Story, S03E08)
• "If I leave, I'm the woman who left President Clinton. If I stay, I'm the woman who stayed. I lose either way. 'Cause I-I didn't invest in me. I invested in us." (American Crime Story, S03E08)
• Colin Robinson removed from the opening credits (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E10)

(What We Do in the Shadows, S03E10)

• "The corpse has barely begun to stink, and we've got the Tao of Steve painting our portrait." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E10)
• "I discovered that there is no meaning or purpose to the universe because of The Big Bang Theory." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E10)
• Matt Berry playing Toast of London's theme (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E10)
• "My late friend Walt Whitman said to me, 'You'd better put that away, Laszlo…'" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E10)
• "I'm sorry, Donal Logue." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E10)
• "Oh, snap."
  "Snap, indeed, Donal." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E10)
• "Logue out." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E10)
• "Plancha!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E10)
• What We Do in the Shadows Season Grade: B
• "Are we really fighting over a boy? We are failing the Bechdel Test right now."
  "Oh, right. Quick, talk about something else."
  "This weather sure is good."
  "Yeah, agreed."
  "Okay, test passed." (Inside Job, S01E04)
• "Get ready to have a great time in the past. Oh shit, I should've said 'blast in the past.' Everyone, pretend I said 'blast in the past.'" (Inside Job, S01E05)
• "Goddamn it. Fucking '80s owl. Global warming will take care of you." (Inside Job, S01E05)
• "Kevin, I don't think Myc is actually nice. He keeps eating all your Zoobooks and punching holes in the walls."
  "I don't think he's punching." (Inside Job, S01E05)
• "Don't let him spray you. You'll become a stunted man-child like Chris Hardwick!" (Inside Job, S01E05)
• "We want to go back to the one perfect decade, the 1950s."
  "Huh. I guess everybody's nostalgic for a simpler time that never really existed."
  "And the word 'Chinese' just meant 'generally Asian.'" (Inside Job, S01E05)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Underground Railroad
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: What We Do in the Shadows

43. That boy is poisoned (Only Murders in the Building, S01E10)

Honourable Mention

• Pho Power (The Next Thing You Eat, S01E04)

Stray Observations

• "Member number?"
  "Member number. One, zero, zero. That's my member number." (BMF, S01E04)
• "Dad? Want me to ride with you?"
  "You wanna suck my dick?"
  "Is what he said to his son as the sexual assault allegations poured in." (Succession, S03E01)

(Succession, S03E01)

• "Get the Raisin. Let's go to the top." (Succession, S03E01)
• "Do we want to order some food?"
  "Food? Swallow. We're on saliva and adrenaline here, until we get on a plane. All right? No local foods. I get the shits, we're fucked." (Succession, S03E01)
• "Uh, you're the number one trending topic, ahead of Tater Tots, and the Pope followed you. Okay, no, this is not the—is this the real? No, I don't think this is the Pope. No, it's, it's a pope. It's not the Pope." (Succession, S03E01)
• "This is crazy. This is like, this is like O.J. I mean, except if O.J. never killed anyone."
  "Who said I never killed anyone?"
  "What character is that?"
  "Juice is loose, baby!" (Succession, S03E01)
• "Shiv, Roman, Gerri are gonna go back to manage New York. No need for me to go running back like a slapped girl, looks weak." (Succession, S03E01)
• "Karl, if your hands are clean it's only because your whorehouse also does manicures." (Succession, S03E01)
• "Have a problem in there, buddy? Can't find a vein?" (Succession, S03E01)
• "If it's going, you want it?"
  "I don't wanna be buried like Miss Haversham with a fucking bonnet full of clever stratagems, so, yeah! Yes! Yes, I want it!" (Succession, S03E01)
• "Well, I just, I may as well say, on a dumb level, I'd like my Twitter to be off the hook. This could all get super earnest, so I was thinking of hitting up some BoJack guys. You know? Some, some, some of the Lampoon kids…just to smash that shit, make my feed a little powder keg people need to check-in with?"
  "Like cool tweets that position you?"
  "Yeah, that would be the…straight-leg chino way of putting it. 'Cool tweets.'" (Succession, S03E01)
• "I'd lay you badly, but I'd lay you gladly." (Succession, S03E01)
• "Look, I wasn't gonna say anything, but…Brittany saw you steal a box set."
  "I did not steal any…"
  "Law & Order, season ten. I‐I know you've been strapped for cash since Eddie, but that's a fireable offense."
  "It was in the bargain bin, okay? The package was…"
  "You know, you can pretty much watch Law & Order whenever you want. Just turn on the TV, and there it is. Now my hands are tied." (Y: The Last Man, S01E08)
• "Okay, we‐we gotta break the door down."
  "Excuse me? We weigh 125 combined."
  "Oh, thank you. It's the dips." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E10)
• "So, I know this isn't easy to hear, but…we found out that Tim was having some sort of romantic thing with—"
  "Jan was fucking Tim Kono!" (Only Murders in the Building, S01E10)
• "You almost let me break my scapula earlier, and you could do this?"
  "Charles taught me. I taught him how to use Postmates, and he taught me how to do this."
  "Aw. You two, I swear. It's like watching Paper Moon for the first time all over again." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E10)
• "Jan's Lil T♥xins" (Only Murders in the Building, S01E10)
• "You overpay for your arugula every time, Uma."
  "You're one to talk, Miss Fresh Basil in February." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E10)
• "We are all Tim Kono." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E10)
• Only Murders in the Building Season Grade: B
• "You know, I have a queer kid."
  "You have a kid?"
  "Genderfluid."
  "And you're cool with it?"
  "I'm not a monster, Jake." (Chucky, S01E02)
• "Trick or treat!"
  "Oh. Aren't you girls a little mature for this type of thing? You know, when I was your age, I was high as a kite." (Chucky, S01E02)

(Chucky, S01E02)

• "Wow, Jake. You look incredible."
  "That looks so real."
  "Yeah. Who you supposed to be, though?"
  "Victim of circumstances." (Chucky, S01E02)
• "You have to ask him."
  "Ask him what?"
  "Did he fuck this intern?" (American Crime Story, S03E07)
• "I can't be fucking Richard Nixon. You know, everything you work for gone, shell of yourself for the rest of your life." (American Crime Story, S03E07)
• The Roseanne Show (American Crime Story, S03E07)
• "That thing was eating Ronnie."
  "Who's Ronnie?"
  "The one with his face eaten off." (American Horror Story, S10E10)
• "I can't believe we traded the best parts of being human – our freedom, curiosity, our need to explore – all for microchip technology and the ability to send memes around the world. What a sad race we turned out to be." (American Horror Story, S10E10)

(American Horror Story, S10E10)

• "Why do you get to decide what's right?"
  "Because I'm Mamie goddamn Eisenhower." (American Horror Story, S10E10)
• American Horror Story Season Grade: C
• "That's Colin Robinson's favorite song."
  "Oh, good. You guys added 'The Hamster Dance' to the playlist." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E09)
• "You know he's not going to die. You're not going to get his money."
  "I'm gonna do the Humpty Hump later. "(What We Do in the Shadows, S03E09)
• Donal Logue (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E09)
• "Ranch for the human consort!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E09)
• "Hey, guys. I think I'm gonna pass on the…the fuck-and-suck show." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E09)
• Colin Robinson farting (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E09)
• "That awkward moment…" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E09)
• "I kind of feel like the first 100 years of my life were wasted, so…starting tomorrow, Colin Robinson's motto is 'young, dumb, and full of cum.'" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E09)
• "He farted, not me!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E09)
• "Hello, Guillermo. Did you bring more people to yank on my pee-pee?" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E09)
• "He let out one last quiet fart, a gentle one, and then he expired." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E09)

(What We Do in the Shadows, S03E09)

• "Check out this asshole's novelty tie. Come on, Reagan, you wanna hate-watch Cosmos with me?" (Inside Job, S01E01)
• "I graduated Yale top of my frat." (Inside Job, S01E01)
• "The world is ablaze with the president's bold call to withdraw from the globe. The question remains: what does being trapped in a giant metal box mean for Wall Street?" (Inside Job, S01E01)
• "Jet fuel? Brett, you know this can't melt anything." (Inside Job, S01E01)
• "Honey, that guy is a legend."
  "Yeah, and a sweetheart. He talked me off the ledge after my divorce."
  "He talked me onto a ledge at a parkour convention." (Inside Job, S01E02)
• "Have you ever seen Akira?"
  "Of course I've seen Akira! Anime is very mainstream right now!" (Inside Job, S01E02)
• "Andre, can you synthesize a chemical compound that can dissolve a giant flesh monster thing?"
  "If it can kill you, I've made it and sold it to Monsanto." (Inside Job, S01E02)
• "Netflix paid a hundred million for it."
  "Really?"
  "Yeah. Wow. I mean, holy shit. Isn't the rainforest burning?" (Inside Job, S01E02)
• "Ooh, girl, your eyes are sunken. You look like if Steve Buscemi mated with Steve Buscemi." (Inside Job, S01E03)
• "We reptoids have had a great decade. Thanks to propaganda in the media, we have made society more tolerant of our kind, from the Geico Gecko to The Shape of Water. We even got K. Rool in Smash!" (Inside Job, S01E03)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Underground Railroad
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: What We Do in the Shadows

42. Not *NSYNC… (Dear White People, S04E04)

Stray Observations

• "Rock, tell Wonder Boy here what I call personal problems."
  "Excuses. And just like assholes, everybody's got one. (BMF, S01E02)
• Snoop Dogg (BMF, S01E03)
• "Yo, did you just call her a ho?"
  "If the corner fits." (BMF, S01E03)
• "You know, America is a beautiful country. It'll be a shame if you didn't get to see all of it. What you say, Filmel? When the doctors let you go, how about…you get in that janky-ass car of yours and you take a road trip for the rest of your fuckin' life, huh?" (BMF, S01E03)
• "Friends do a lot of things, but a sponge bath ain't one of 'em." (BMF, S01E03)
• "It's still too early for me to have sex."
  "Ain't nothing wrong with your mouth, though."
  "When was the last time you ate my pussy, huh?"
  "Yo, come on. You was pregnant."
  "With your baby, nigga."
  "I told you that's against my religion."
  "Oh, okay. But sucking your dick ain't." (BMF, S01E03)
• "I didn't think you were ready for the big-time, and I didn't want to watch you drink yourself to death in six months."
  "Oh, for fuck's sakes, Jack. Watch Ric Flair's 30 for 30. I would've been fine." (Heels, S01E08)
• "What's wrong?"
  "Uh, I think I shit my pants a little."
  "Oh…"
  "Mm, I guess I shit my pants a lot. This is a shame I cannot bear. If I get up, I'll never live it down, so I must play dead." (Heels, S01E08)
• Heels Season Grade: C
• "Why help us? What's in it for you?"
  "I don't know, maybe hell isn't other people." (Y: The Last Man, S01E07)
• "Uh, I'd like to point out that when I offered to help, everyone sent me home to get stabbed." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E09)
• "My kids are too scared to sleep in their own rooms. So now, I share my bed with people who are actively shitting themselves." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E09)
• "Do you think his sex toys could reveal anything? Like a…girl guy? Guy guy? They them? They girl? Guy them?" (Only Murders in the Building, S01E09)
• "And here you are, in the apartment, with your creaky‐kneed stunt double, and your sad little melancholy omelet." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E09)
• "Okay, look… I-I am sorry, but I do not see the need to use profanity."
  "That makes one of us." (American Crime Story, S03E06)
• "You into vintage?"
  "No, I'm into retro."
  "Oh, what's the difference?"
  "About 10 bucks." (Chucky, S01E01)
• Devon Sawa playing twins (Chucky, S01E01)
• "Apparently, she's Botox curious, she's into Pokémon porn, and look what she keeps googling: 'Why do my farts smell so good?'" (Chucky, S01E01)
• "It doesn't bother you that everybody thinks you're fucking weird, huh?"
  "You don't care that they think I'm weird. You just care that they know I'm a fag." (Chucky, S01E01)
• "Well, now you know how I felt during the war. I was stuck here leading scrap metal drives while you were carrying on with that trollop in army HQ. By the way…he loved my fudge." (American Horror Story, S10E09)
• Stanley Kubrick (American Horror Story, S10E09)
• "It's nice to reminisce with someone other than Steve Jobs." (American Horror Story, S10E09)
• "Maybe someday I will use internet to research my middle name."
  "What's your middle name?"
  "Bukkake."
  "What?" (Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens, S02E09)
• "Praise the moons for Bukkake!" (Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens, S02E09)
• "But I will always love you, Nora Bukkake Lin."
  "No, my-my-my name wouldn't be– I wouldn't have that Bukkake–"
  "But we're married. I give you–"
  "Last name. I get your last name."
  "Oh!"
  "Yeah, yeah."
  "I see. Then you would be an Aynusslahfer." (Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens, S02E09)
• Old people videoconferencing (Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens, S02E09)
• Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens Season Grade: C
• "I think he might be having a midlife crisis. But he's immortal, so I guess…maybe more like a crisis-crisis." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E08)
• "Why are you dressed like a Playmobil figurine?" (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E08)
• "Have a great, unenlightened eternity. Farewell! Auf Wiedersehen! Good night, Seattle, and good mental health!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E08)
• ♫: Barenaked Ladies – "One Week" (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E08)
• "Now, when doing your taxes, women act like you don't understand." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E08)
• "How to smile. This is especially important for the women when you're an expert about something, and a man is explaining it to you. Strained eyes but really big smile." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E08)
• "'In case any of you dumb idiot assholes care – assholes with one 'S,' – uh, where I've gone, it's here.'"
  "Give me that."
  "All right, but you may want to wash your hands. That has a full room of butt wind on it." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E08)
• "You covered my friends in garlic powder!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E08)
• "You just punched Jeremy."
  "Fuck Jeremy!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E08)
• "If I wasn't a human, I'd be crushing your dick and slamming it on the floor." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E08)
• "You're not a human, master!"
  "I'm not? Then how do you explain this? ♫ It's been one week since you looked at me / Cocked your head to the side and said, 'I'm angry' / Five days since you laughed at me. ♫ I know the whole fucking song." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E08)
• "Silver rope-lined seat belts" (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E08)
• "I think I did something really drastic."
  "Oh, you pierce your pee-pee?"
  "No, but–"
  "Tattoo your pee-pee?"
  "You guys–"
  "Tell us more about your pee-pee. You've never been so interesting." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E08)
• "No, there's no need to do that, Colin Robinson, because I am not brainwashed. I am perfectly sane. I was just having fun with my new friends."
  "That's, uh, basically what Patricia Krenwinkel said." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E08)
• ♫: Timothy Fleet and Wayne Murray – "Sos" (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E08)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Underground Railroad
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: What We Do in the Shadows