Cocaine Bear

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Browsing the 2021 SXSW Film Festival line-up…

We Are The Thousand
A thousand musicians gathered together with one mission—to get the Foo Fighters to perform in their small town.

[pause]

Browsing upcoming album releases…

Ghost of Vroom 1
Ghost of Vroom [Mike Doughty and Andrew "Scrap" Livingston]

You have my curiosity.

DOUGHTY: The short version of the story is, I started writing Soul Coughing music again. I called up Soul Coughing and said, "Do you want to do this?" I got back a hot plate of crazy.

I was like, "Well, thanks, guys" Then I went and just made the album, and Mario Caldato is of that time period, like the Beasties, everything. Their whole universe was my everything, and working with him was incredible.

This is the Soul Coughing stuff that was never made. It's a very specific return to '94, '95 Soul Coughing. I'm getting deep, but the way the band sounded at the end of the Ruby Vroom tour, but before we went in with David Kahne to make "Super Bon Bon" and "Lazybones," all those songs. [source]

Now you have my attention.

Not Solo Coughing, but Soul of Soul Coughing.

Rory: Autotribute band.

I'm trying to think of another frontman who formed a spiritual successor to their own group with no other original members.

Dragon Nerds

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Random Idea:

MARRIAGE OR MORTGAGE (NETFLIX)
Premieres Wednesday, March 10

DESCRIPTION:
A wedding planner and a real estate agent compete to win the hearts and budgets of spouses-to-be. Will they pick fairy-tale nuptials or a dream home?

What kinda "lunch with Jay-Z"-ass premise is this? Dream wedding is the Price Is Right showcase with a bedroom set.

Dream wedding or dream honeymoon is equally uncompetitive… Sex or money is Netflix's Too Hot to Handle…

Reality Competition Idea: The Auction. Couples compete for money to spend in an auction at the end featuring a dream wedding, a dream home, et cetera.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on


10. Then, Now, Forever (WWE SmackDown, 06 Mar 21)

Stray Observations

  • Vince McMahon's casting (Young Rock, S01E03)
  • "They didn't even talk about us during fernet." (Young Rock, S01E03)
  • "We slept like angels."
    "Well, angels are technically dead, so…" (Kenan, S01E03)
  • "Princesses are out. Empowerment is in. Will you sing us a song about that, please?"
    "Okay, uh… ♫ Title IX / You are so fine / Famous for your place in athletics ♫" (Kenan, S01E03)
  • "I got to stop being so polite and start—"
    "Getting real?"
    "Don't tell me the Real World tagline. Let me remember it on my own." (Kenan, S01E03)
  • "Take what you're getting, do your job, and please, shut the fuck up." (Snowfall, S04E03)
  • "You keep your silver, Satan." (Snowfall, S04E03)
  • Buick'd (WandaVision, S01E09)
  • "Flourish." (WandaVision, S01E09)
  • "Ralph Bohner" (WandaVision, S01E09)
  • "I request elaboration." (WandaVision, S01E09)
  • "Boys, handle the military. Mommy will be right back." (WandaVision, S01E09)
  • "Thanks for choosing me to be your mom." (WandaVision, S01E09)
  • "We have said goodbye before, so it stands to reason…"
    "We'll say hello again." (WandaVision, S01E09)
  • WandaVision Season Grade: C
  • Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor grunting (Close Enough, S02E05)
  • "First, you must select all images with traffic lights on them!" (Close Enough, S02E05)
  • "P.S. 'Dicktaints' still means dicktaints." (Close Enough, S02E06)
  • "Sip my ass!" (Close Enough, S02E06)
  • "Yeah, eat shit, Marc Maron!" (Close Enough, S02E07)
  • "I'm going to the bathroom. Without my phone." (Close Enough, S02E07)
  • "Something is going on here – you're jealous. You can't handle that I'm the hot one."
    "That is absolutely part of it! But not all of it." (Close Enough, S02E08)
  • Close Enough Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: P-Valley
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: How To with John Wilson

Jim Henson's N Word Party

on

DC and Epic Games revealed the crossover, with the project debuting in print and digitally on April 20.

Heh.

The story sees Batman pulled into an unfamiliar world with no memory of where he came from. He must fight to recall his past, while coming face-to-face with Fortnite characters such as Renegade Raider, Fishstick, Bandolier and more.

"This series will reveal things about Fortnite that have never been seen or heard before." [source]

Injustice 3: Batman vs. Fortnite?

Random Idea:

An elections bill that restricts ballot drop boxes, requires ID for absentee voting and cuts back weekend early voting hours, among other changes, has passed the Georgia House and will advance to the Senate.

Video Game Idea: Dead by Daylight, but for voting in a red state.

Asymmetrical multiplayer – four people of colour vs. one Republican.

The people of colour win if they manage to vote before time runs out. The Republican wins if they he manages to prevent all the people of colour from voting.

My Parents Are Yoshi

on

The conspiracy-soaked thriller follows two girls who move into a New York apartment once owned by the convicted sex offender.

There's a scene about two-thirds in where a woman possessed by the spirit of an underage girl aggressively pleasures herself on a bed strewn with photos of Prince Andrew and assorted royal memorabilia.

At one point, to highlight her doubts over the suicide report, Nekrasova's character reenacts her own Epstein-style strangulation using a ripped sheet and a cupboard door. Even though a stunt coordinator was present, she admits she still "burst blood vessels around my eyes."

Women, amirite?

One of the biggest-budget prospects at the European Film Market (initially priced in the $100M range) is the Robbie Williams biopic Better Man from The Greatest Showman director Michael Gracey.

We understand that pop star Williams will be portrayed by a CGI monkey in the film. [source]

A CGI monkey rending the flesh and sinews from its body.

Jimmy Page feuding with a CGI monkey.

In a June 2020 interview with Weight Watchers Magazine, Williams revealed that he had developed an addiction to playing online golf games. [source]

Conservation of Pulse • Local Causality • Save the Galaxy

on

"Nature" is tenth on the list of categories, probably where music videos would be on an MTV+.

Cooking Channel's Food Jammers isn't on Discovery+, but Science Channel's Race to Escape is, albeit missing episode five.

Episode five is available for purchase on Amazon, though, so it's not because a contestant murdered someone.

Discovery+ Show Idea: Extreme Gender Reveals.

Serious Discovery+ Show Idea: Siblings with large age ranges, like 26 to 74.

Paramount+ could've launched this Thursday with Coming 2 America, but Paramount sold it to Amazon instead, which will premiere it this Friday on Prime Video.

Paramount also sold exclusive streaming rights to Paramount Network's Yellowstone, cable television's highest-rated show, to Peacock.

And Nickelodeon is producing a live-action adaptation of Avatar: The Last Airbender for Netflix.

Wyd, ViacomCBS?

Peacock or HBO Max could've had Ted Lasso, but NBCUniversal and WarnerMedia, which produce the show and own Peacock and HBO Max, respectively, foolishly sold it to Apple.

^ why Paramount+ can't reboot Wayne's World (Wayne and Garth are black streamers)

How bad must The Woman in the Window be for Disney to sell it to Netflix?

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

9. #1 in the U.S. Today (Ginny and Georgia, S01E08)

Stray Observations

  • "Do you think I want Sim's Market Brand Milk Alternative for my coffee? No. I want the purple half-and-half, but nobody here is making half-and-half money." (Young Rock, S01E02)
  • "Their crab cakes make me horny." (Kenan, S01E02)
  • ♫: Labi Siffre – "I Got The…" (Snowfall, S04E01)
  • "Can't trust Skully with his crucifixing ass." (Snowfall, S04E01)
  • "And I know Skully crazy. But he always stay in his lane."
    "'Lane' like the New Testament type shit?" (Snowfall, S04E01)
  • "Everybody came at us, trying to take our territory and fuck us up. Who you think kept 'em back? Louie? Jerome and his fucking speakers?" (Snowfall, S04E01)
  • "No, I ain't gonna crucify. That's too good for that motherfucker. I'm-a stone his bitch ass." (Snowfall, S04E02)
  • "Chet, I-I think your viewers—"
    "Viewer, singular. Helen got Netflix." (Mr. Mayor, S01E09)
  • "Bring them in. Bring them all in. Let's have a meeting."
    "Your funeral."
    "We'll be at the 18th hole of the Brentwood Country Club. They're gonna use my ashes to make a golf ball, and Phil Mickelson's gonna hit a drive at sunset. This will be nothing like that." (Mr. Mayor, S01E09)
  • "I'm a psycho?"
    "Hella psycho. [pause] What? I'm an L.A. rabbi." (Mr. Mayor, S01E09)
  • "All right, I'm gonna need you all to do two types of ups: shut and listen." (Mr. Mayor, S01E09)
  • Mr. Mayor Season Grade: C
  • "I did not break your rules. They simply bent to my power." (WandaVision, S01E08)
  • "I got close with fake Pietro. Fietro, if you will." (WandaVision, S01E08)
  • "Did you forget who's got your children stashed away in her bewitched basement?" (WandaVision, S01E08)
  • Who's the Boss? (WandaVision, S01E08)
  • "Dick Van Dyke again?" (WandaVision, S01E08)
  • "So, what I see here is a baby witch, obsessed with sitcoms and years of therapy ahead of her." (WandaVision, S01E08)
  • "Is it funny because of the grievous injury the man just suffered?"
    "No, he's not really injured."
    "Ah. How can you be certain?"
    "It's not that kind of show."(WandaVision, S01E08)
  • "But what is grief, if not love persevering?" (WandaVision, S01E08)
  • "I can't feel you." (WandaVision, S01E08)
  • To grow old in New Jersey? (WandaVision, S01E08)
  • "My other friend was working at The National, says this one walks around with a boyfriend like it's not even a secret."
    "Hm?"
    "Derek Jacobi." (It's a Sin, S01E03)
  • Stephen Fry: "I think Nanny's cross with me." (It's a Sin, S01E04)
  • Doctor Who (It's a Sin, S01E04)
  • "I pissed in Mrs. Thatcher's coffee."
    "You're lying."
    "Black man's piss." (It's a Sin, S01E04)
  • "I've got news for you all. I wanted you to be the first to know. I'm gonna live."
    ♫: Belinda Carlisle – "Heaven Is a Place on Earth" (It's a Sin, S01E04)
  • ♫: R.E.M. – "Everybody Hurts"? (It's a Sin, S01E05)
  • It's a Sin Season Grade: C
  • "We saw this really old movie at school today called King Kong! It had Jack Black in it!" (Close Enough, S02E01)
  • "We got our results back from that bulk genetic test we bought from Costco!"
    "Nice. So, whose ancestors killed who?"
    "Well, my people came from Guadalajara, Bridgette's came from Kyoto, and Josh is white."
    (Close Enough, S02E01)
  • "When you're with the Trickles, McRibs are on the menu year round!"
    "Take that, Ronald McDonald, you withholdin' sack of dog shit." (Close Enough, S02E01)
  • "We'd do it at our place, but we're re-glazing our butthole washers." (Close Enough, S02E01)
  • "Do your mom and dad have money?"
    "No, my dad does improv." (Close Enough, S02E02)


(Close Enough, S02E02)

  • "Remember, tomorrow is Cher Day, so bring in a small item that makes you believe in life after love." (Close Enough, S02E02)
  • "Who's this chick? She on the rag, too? Oh, cycle sisters. Hot." (Close Enough, S02E02)
  • "It's lunchtime, bitch!" (Close Enough, S02E03)
  • "No, don't stop to blow up your hemorrhoid donut!" (Close Enough, S02E03)
  • ♫ "Want some hummus at 10:15 delivered to your door? / Access all man's knowledge and really specific porn?" ♫ (Close Enough, S02E03)
  • "Out there, I'm a divorced adjunct professor with paper cuts on his dong. In here, I'm an invincible penised god." (Close Enough, S02E03)
  • ♫: Smash Mouth – "All Star" (Close Enough, S02E03)
  • "Not now, Beyoncé!" (Close Enough, S02E04)
  • "Henri and I have so much in common. He also hates fake bitches." (Close Enough, S02E04)
  • "I've also written an opera about your face." (Close Enough, S02E04)
  • "And that, my friends, is how you disarm somebody who's holding a churro." (Close Enough, S02E04)
  • "Pearle's simulating a terrorist takeover, just like in Die Hard 2, except in a building!" (Close Enough, S02E04)
  • "Don't look at me, I'm just your dong."
    […]
    "Nooo! I wanted no part of this." (Close Enough, S02E04)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: P-Valley
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: How To with John Wilson

I think your dong went all the way up and touched my heart

on

James Watt, the co-founder of Ellon, Scotland-based BrewDog, posted renderings and a video from a future site of a brewery and pub atop the Showcase Mall.

[clicks on link]

[clicks on link]

First revealed back in August, but showing few signs of progress atop the Las Vegas Strip's first Target retail outlet, new paperwork uncovers Olive Garden is back on track to bring its eighth local restaurant to Las Vegas Boulevard.

Ahh, Vegas, land of a Scottish brewery with a rooftop pool on top of a multi-million-dollar Olive Garden on top of a Target between a Walgreens and Burlington Coat Factory opposite an Eataly and NoMad luxury hotel.

related:


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

8. Freedom! '81 (It's a Sin, S01E01)

Stray Observations

  • Ed Orgeron (Young Rock, S01E01)
  • "Rick came down when Cori passed and never left. It's been a year of him just all up in our business, man. Just throwing our swagger off as a unit, trying to get us to watch Green Book all the damn time." (Kenan, S01E01)
  • "I can't get you on Raya, man. You gotta be rich or famous or something to get on that app."
    "And I would've been both of those things if my mixtape wasn't get caught up in the courts."
    "Because you named yourself Lil Caesar."
    "It's completely different from the pizza place!"
    "But then why was your first single called 'Beatsa, Beatsa'?" (Kenan, S01E01)
  • "Are you gambling on This Is Us plot twists?"
    "Oh, yeah. This is the most dangerous game: life." (Kenan, S01E01)
  • "Mikaela Shaw doesn't get lucky. I got HPV from a pair of vintage jeans." (Mr. Mayor, S01E08)
  • "Let's have a rematch. Porgy's, tonight. Or are you dollar chicken?"
    "Bock, bock."
    "Wait, was that a yes or a no?" (Mr. Mayor, S01E08)
  • "This sub-equatorial country is home to the yellow-tailed woolly monkey and one marmalade-loving bear—"
    "Peru! 'Cause Paddington." (Mr. Mayor, S01E08)
  • "Chocolate babies." (Mr. Mayor, S01E08)
  • "Well, Nicole runs a Pilates studio."
    "Oh—oh, no, it was Pilates, but we pivoted. Now we do fairy birthday parties for adults." (Mr. Mayor, S01E08)
  • "You have been slorshing that lady for six years."
    "Well, is that a term, or are you messing with me 'cause you know I'm gonna repeat it?" (Mr. Mayor, S01E08)
  • "You know I'm LeBron, and you're, like, the Laker Vanessa Hudgens hooked up with." (Mr. Mayor, S01E08)
  • "Dad, that's a food thing. For restaurants."
    "So when I checked Cuban, Asian, and New American, that was all food?"
    "Ew, what? Okay, let's try Graya. It's like old people's Raya."
    [doorbell rings]
    "It's probably Postmates. We're gonna be eating a lot of healthy Armenian the next couple of days." (Mr. Mayor, S01E08)
  • Wii and Gamecube controllers (WandaVision, S01E07)
  • Happy Endings (WandaVision, S01E07)
  • "I promise I won't bite."
    "I actually did bite a kid once." (WandaVision, S01E07)
  • Yo Gabba Gabba (WandaVision, S01E07)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: P-Valley
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: How To with John Wilson

Even Boston Sounds Amazing

on

LeBron should record an original song for Space Jam 2, because the Academy will totally give him an Oscar for it.

Kobe's was a fait accompli.

Comedy Sketch Idea: Babylon Bee Comedy Jam.

Shirt Design Idea: CBDGBD. OMFUG NOTHC.

Idea: Jackbox Potty Pack. A collection of short games to play while pooping.

When you take a shit, you actually give one, no?

When you say you don't give a shit, you are constipated.

"I give a shit" = Caring is sharing poop.

Eating shit makes shit – shit ouroboros.

Toking a shit, heh.