Do you understand the food that is coming out of Star's mouth?! "He showed up (at the pizza parlor) about 30 minutes later, swearing again … saying, 'Do you want a piece of me?'" Hee! • Machete-wielding man sought for attack on pizza parlor Deadwood…
Date Archives June 2007
A gold medal in the epilepsy event
While it's currently being condemned almost universally as a hideous piece of uninspired shit, the London 2012 Olympic games logo seems to be falling upon some even worse luck. As if being the ugliest logo in recent memory wasn't bad enough, it's now being attributed…
Dissention in the ranks
Mr. Cohen: Consider me unimpressed with YOUR MOM. I'd talk to the Telcobox crew before picking a flame war with me, boy. Too good for magic… What the hell!
Part-time sinners and full-time cynics
Before working at The Office, this man wrote for Clarissa Explains It All, Weird Science and The Naked Truth, three of my favourite sitcoms growing up. My computer at work runs Windows Vista, which is so dysfunctional, I'm tempted to re-evaluate Windows ME. Dare I…
Hope I die before I get old
I want to introduce a feature on Adam Riff™ called "Jon's grievances against old people." I detest the elderly with all the test in my heart. If I was President, America would resemble Logan 3's world. Anyhow… Grievance 1: Protesting the existence of a farm…
Judas Priest on a two-stroke moped
I saw a homeless woman begging for food and a blanket. On an island. In the middle of a busy street. With no room to pull over. The pre-show "entertainment" before Knocked Up included a "first look" at the National Guard. Seeing Cirque du Soleil…
Scott Proctor.
OMG TRUE YANKEE!!!
TBIF
note: not a video
Scientist/Exotic Dancer
Next year, National Spelling Bee organizers need to allot chairs on stage for eliminated spellers. My mother wants me to buy a house. Unbeknownst to me, white-collar workers on the low end of the salary range can receive discounts on houses in the Bay Area….