I attended a satellite screening in Berkeley, patronizing two gelato shops on Shattuck beforehand. Both asked me to recycle my cups and spoons. I think plastic gelato cups are wasteful, so I can respect recycling them, but recycling the tiny plastic spoons? Berkeley should rename…
Date Archives August 2008
I'm skinny when I'm standing but I'm Buddha when I sit
Bizarro Hulk I feel like guys with jaws shaped like Phelps' all speak with a lisp. Two deaths pre-release beats your one, Dark Knight. Jackson better watch out for crazy Chinamen wielding knives. The top local [ratings] market for the Opening Ceremony was San Diego,…
Weekend at Bernie's
"America, I'm dead!" The Original King of Complications Due to Pneumonia Ocean's Ten Slump in Housing Market Kills Brother Freddie
Friday Night Lights
gahhhh the torch better be good i heard the final torchbearer immolates a monk … vancouver's torch should be a giant joint
The Prestige
So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye. Today: Tom Mullica cue: "Paper Planes" Tom Mullica gained notoriety for seemingly eating a pack of lit cigarettes with bar napkins as a chaser, a routine he called "Nicotine Nincompoop." He last performed it in 2000. A 2002 British…
Up All Night
Thursday. 4:21 a.m. Oof. What I drink last night? My bladder runneth over. I roll out of bed. What is…? Oh gawd. Did I emit nocturnally? I hope that was pee on the tip pre-pee. I park in front on my toilet and squirt…
Wanderlust
Charles Barkley: 1 Dwyane, 2 Ernie, 3 Kenny, Stan. [dialing] ?: Las Vegas Hilton SuperBook. Stan speaking. Barkley: Stan! It's Charles! Stan: Hey! What's up? Barkley: I want to propose a bet. Stan: I thought you quit gambling. Barkley: This isn't gambling. This is betting….
Please turn me on I'm Mr. Coffee with an automatic drip
How I spent my summer vacation, Freckles. Not again, I thought. I'm cursed. The Seth-Rogen-in-a-lead-role curse. I tried to enjoy Pineapple Express, but theatre 11's soundsystem didn't want me to. quietLOUDquiet, more quiet than LOUD. Muffled dialogue "What did he say?" The same sound…
Sparkle and Fade
I gotta keep it goin', keep it goin', full steam. Today: Penn and Teller A long time ago, Penn and Teller rung in a new year on Fox by failing to escape from a champagne torture tank. I couldn't find video. Penn sang "Auld Lang…
The Most Dangerous Game
stepping up my effort to completely alienate what little audience we have… did you ever play magic? I'm afraid that's one skeleton that is missing from my closet did you ever play magic? ive watched people play it my friends and i once agreed that…