Adam Riff™

41. Obi-Wan Kenobi Audition (Welcome to Wrexham, S01E14)

Honourable Mention

• Mexican Week (The Great British Bake Off, S13E04)
• Werewolf Transformation (Werewolf by Night, 07 Oct 22)

Stray Observations

• Shoot-out set to Taxi theme (Rick and Morty, S06E05)
• "What the hell was that?"
  "Reuseable Sailor Moon sequence. If we ever need to show you becoming my assistant again, we can repeat it and save lots of money." (Rick and Morty, S06E05)
• "Fuck! This both sucks and is really valuable data!" (Rick and Morty, S06E05)
• "Fortune cookies are alien poop." (Rick and Morty, S06E05)
• "Whoa! You control control water. Like, the water inside a guy. That's a gross power." (Rick and Morty, S06E05)
• "You can't kill me, old man. I also have an unresolved fortune."
  "'The most successful businesswoman on Earth?' You could do anything you wanted and you chose…work?"
  "Every day I get closer to an unattainable goal. A one-woman lifestyle brand, forever!"
  "Well, I just used a dark web account to hack Goldman Sachs, remove trillions of dollars, and purchase everything your company offers. Congratulations! You're officially the most successful businesswoman on Earth. Fortune fulfilled. And now, I'm emptying your bank accounts and giving the money back to Goldman Sachs, because I sit dead-center on the alignment chart."
  "You son of a bitch!"
  "How does it feel to achieve your dreams? Empty, right? Like when DiCaprio won the Oscar. You could see it in his face." (Rick and Morty, S06E05)

(Rick and Morty, S06E05)

• "We should get you some clothes, son."
  [reuseable Sailor Moon sequence]
  "I can just feel the savings." (Rick and Morty, S06E05)
• </Best in Dough, S01>
• "The pace of repression outstrips our ability to understand it. And that is the real trick of the Imperial thought machine. It's easier to hide behind 40 atrocities than a single incident." (Andor, S01E05)
• "Surprise from above is never as shocking as one from below." (Andor, S01E05)
• "Everyone has their own rebellion." (Andor, S01E05)
• "Did you read that article the other day about how matcha – actually more efficient at awakening the nervous system than coffee?"
  "Oh, yeah? Was that in Who Gives a Crap Weekly?"
  "It was in The New Yorker."
  "Oh, so Who Gives a Crap Bi-weekly." (Abbott Elementary, S02E03)
• "Janine, Gregory, y'all pulling up?"
  "Yeah…"
  "I'll walk over." (Abbott Elementary, S02E03)
• "May we have a suggestion for a character?"
  "Meek Mill!"
  "What if Meek Mill…was a meerkat?"
  "Why?"
  "I'm just a meerkat, strolling through Western Philly."
  "But it's not a story unless there's some…conflict! What's Meerkat Meek Mills' conflict?"
  "His ATV broke down in the wrong hood!"
  "Wrong hood, Meerkat! Wrong hood!" (Abbott Elementary, S02E03)
• "If my Degrassi re-enactment group showed up and performed here, I'd be excited, too." (Abbott Elementary, S02E03)
• "Hey, and if you guys thought the Malcolm X Games was cool, just wait 'til you see Rosa Parks and Rec." (Abbott Elementary, S02E03)
• "I'm c-corny?"
  "Jacob, you are…corny sometimes…yes."
  "Wha… Wait. Uh… No. I have Kendrick Lamar on vinyl. Okay? Is that corny?" (Abbott Elementary, S02E03)
• "Look, you are a white teacher in a Black school."
  "I am not Hilary Swank in Freedom Writers."
  "You are Hilary Swank in Freedom Writers. You are Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds. You are Sandra Bullock in…"
  "In Bird Box?"
  "In The Blind Side. [gasps]"
  "Too far."
  "Too far, I know." (Abbott Elementary, S02E03)
• "By the way, would a 'corny' person stage a one-man show called The Color Urkel?" (Abbott Elementary, S02E03)
• "That was so corny, I gained 2,000 new followers during the stream, including Josh Gad, whoever that is."
  "When you guys Voltron'd yourselves into a Black Shaun King, I…I died. I did."
  "And the singing."
  "And those outfits."
  "Your curly-ass hair."
  "That's…that's just my hair." (Abbott Elementary, S02E03)
• "♪ Waiting for Ashley / Ohh-ohh-ohh ♪ […] Oh, wait. The boombox wasn't on, so the song probably didn't make sense!" (Abbott Elementary, S02E03)
• "Not in the mood to be improv'd at." (Abbott Elementary, S02E03)
• "I love you, Jake."
  "I love you more, Devon."
  "That’s not possible." (Chucky, S02E01)
• "Uber’s really made being a killer doll so much easier." (Chucky, S02E01)
• "Goodbye, tragedy." (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E08)
• "Goons and henchmen are two completely different animals. Henchmen believe in the cause, goons are just there for the paycheck." (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E08)

(She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E08)

• "This is the big twist, isn't it? But the question is, is it the kind of twist that's like, 'There's another Hulk, but this one's red,' or like, 'I'm getting fridged'?" (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E07)
• "Oh, oh, I'm sorry, she-she doesn't act."
  "Everyone acts, Miss Vanessa." (Atlanta, S04E05)
• "Honestly, we need to stick together. Mr. Chocolate likes your daughter, probably writing a kids show for her right now. Maybe my daughter could be the best friend who's good at computers."
  "Nah. She's, uh, just acting for today. Honestly, she's not even really that into acting."
  "I don't know. She seems pretty happy."
  "Yeah, no. She's…she's not ready. But your daughter should have the show."
  "Oh, I know. She's not the right 'type.' Like I said, we really need to stick together." (Atlanta, S04E05)
• "This crack sandwich good as hell." (Atlanta, S04E05)
• ♫: Little Simz – "Point and Kill [feat. Obongjayar]" (Atlanta, S04E05)
• "Would you like a grit?" (Atlanta, S04E05)
• "Grits don't work on me. I've developed a tolerance over the years." (Atlanta, S04E05)
• "You're a con man. You just make unrelatable shit that takes advantage of the people you say you're trying to help."
  "'Unrelatable shit,' you say. You know, I've been watching you, Ms. Keifer. You're a single mother who can't afford to feed your daughter. Phaedra is your 'hip girlfriend.' You have a 'formally incarcerated, light-skinned love interest,' a 'Christian, gun-toting grandmother,' and let me guess, you have a dark-skinned baby daddy?"
  "He's brown-skinned."
  "And you threw grits at me. Unprovoked. Face it, Vanessa, you're a Kirkwood Chocolate woman." (Atlanta, S04E05)
• "I-I ever tell you guys about the time I pooped myself at an Equinox? It was in Zumba during 'Despacito.'" (Little Demon, S01E08)
• "And now you're putting down your Jewish heritage? So cool of you."
  "What heritage? You said Elijah was a waste of good wine."
  "I stand by that." (Little Demon, S01E08)
• "So this is how it ends, with a bang, not a whimper."
  "Huh, T.S. Eliot was wrong."
  "Well, at least he was good in Road House." (Little Demon, S01E08)
• Horse on fire (The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power, S01E07)
• Flaming tuba (Werewolf by Night, 07 Oct 22)
• "Andrecito, I've already done so many favors for you. Just the other day you asked me for something."
  "No, Moon, that favor wasn't for me. I simply asked you to go crescent so that my friend Dreamworks could have a place to sit and fish." (Los Espookys, S02E04)

40. Muslim Role Play (Ramy, S03E06)

Honourable Mention

• Snoop Dogg's hilariously wrong answers (Celebrity Wheel of Fortune, S03E01)

Stray Observations

• David Tennant's son masturbating naked in a window (House of the Dragon, S01E06)
• "I took the liberty of beginning without you, Your Grace. It seemed a sin to let such a pie grow cold."
  "You did wisely, Lord Larys. Though you had no such worry about the wine, surely."
  "Meat without wine is also a sin." (House of the Dragon, S01E06)
• "Laenor…bring him. We'll need every sword we can muster." (House of the Dragon, S01E06)
• "Everyone get behind my abs!" (Rick and Morty, S06E04)
• ♫: "Night Family [feat. Ryan Elder]" (Rick and Morty, S06E04)
• "Whoa. How long have we been asleep?"
  "Ah, can't be that long. Oh, my God! No! They killed the Choco Taco!" (Rick and Morty, S06E04)
• "It's all good. It's good in the hood. Ain't no thing."
  "You really need to hang out with more Black people." (Reboot, S01E04)
• "She gave Timberly her immunity thong and then the naked council sent her into sex-ile." (Reboot, S01E04)
• "Timberly and I are friends."
  "She is a reality star. She didn't come here to make friends." (Reboot, S01E04)
• "Oh my God. Stop lecturing me. You haven't come out to your dad."
  "Okay. It's hardly the same thing. Your dad's friend got a blowjob from Paul Lynde. Back in our town, my dad tried to ban dancing." (Reboot, S01E04)
• "Fuck, we need a code."
  "Try 1491." (Reservation Dogs, S02E10)
• "Life's hard. One of the hardest." (Reservation Dogs, S02E10)
• "The world's your Indian taco." (Reservation Dogs, S02E10)
• Brandon Boyd (Reservation Dogs, S02E10)
• "I do have one toothbrush. Uh… It's kind of multipurpose, but you're all welcome to it." (Reservation Dogs, S02E10)
• "I mean, everyone knows him for Lost Boys, but he did Thunderdome, too, and he toured with Tina Turner for years."
  "Is that the guy in the diaper?"
  "No, that's, um, Ton Ton Tattoo.
  "Oh. Wait, so there's two sax players in Thunderdome?"
  "No, Tim Cappello wasn't in the movie. He-he just did the song in the credits."
  "Oh. Got it."
  "Daniel showed me that movie."
  "Which one?"
  "Both, actually."
  "Same."
  "He was my hero, you know?"
  "Tim Cappello?"
  "No. Uh, Daniel." (Reservation Dogs, S02E10)
• "He/She…Hers/His/They…genderless being, we're here for our friend Daniel." (Reservation Dogs, S02E10)
• "I love you, bitches." (Reservation Dogs, S02E10)
• Tim Cappello (Reservation Dogs, S02E10)
• </Reservation Dogs, S02>
• "Med nog." (Andor, S01E04)
• "Security is an illusion. You want security? Call the Navy. Launch a regiment of troopers. We are healthcare providers. We treat sickness. We identify symptoms. We locate germs whether they arise from within or have come from the outside. The longer we wait to identify a disorder, the harder it is to treat the disease." (Andor, S01E04)
• "In the next three days, if for any reason… Look at me!" (Andor, S01E04)
• "You can't just swing from franchise to franchise."
  "Then why do I have to see Chris Pratt everywhere?" (Abbott Elementary, S02E02)
• "Wait, so she was petering out on me? Do you know why?"
  "Well, I think she said you a 'broke bwah.'"
  "I think she's saying I'm a 'broke boi.'" (Abbott Elementary, S02E03)
• ♫: HAIM – "Now I'm In It" (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E07)
• ♫: Hanson – "MMMBop" (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E07)
• "You know what? Apologize to my Prius Prime with money." (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E07)
• ♫: Tierra Whack – "Peppers and Onions" (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E07)
• "Abomaste" (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E07)
• "Can we, um, stop to get some food real fast?"
  "We'll be late. Dig in my purse and get you some cough drops if you're hungry." (Atlanta, S04E04)
• Gunna playing Uno (Atlanta, S04E04)
• "Y'all, y'all. Gloria kidnapped Dad."
  "Look, you can't kidnap your own dad. I don't have time to explain it to you right now, but the word 'kid' is in it. So, mathematically, it's impossible." (Atlanta, S04E04)
• "Look, y'all got a—y'all got another way out of here? Like a secret way?"
  "There's another way out back."
  "Word?"
  "We call it the 'Shmurda exit.' Bobby had it built when he was recording here for a month. He had the FBI and three baby mamas after him. Couldn't take any chances."
  "Didn't help him, though."
  "Mm-mm."
  "No. But it might help you."
  "Wait, nah, nah, th-this ain't gonna work. She's gonna see us."
  "Don't worry, she won't see you. The only thing is, you can't look back, not even a glance. That's how this works." (Atlanta, S04E04)
• "Just bring us the goddamn bread!" (Atlanta, S04E04)
• Grandpa finally perking up at the mention of Redbox (Atlanta, S04E04)
• "It would seem I'm not the only Elf alive who has been transformed by darkness. Perhaps your search for Morgoth's successor should have ended in your own mirror." (The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power, S01E06)
• "I need you plant some evidence in an archeological site that would seem to depict early queer humans wearing a single dangly earring." (Los Espookys, S02E03)
• "Okay, Mr. Professor Robert Roberts, so we will need two skeletons… Oh no, three skeletons, just in case. It's going to be cheaper for you." (Los Espookys, S02E03)
• "So, we need to start spreading lies about his opponent in a clear and concise way."
  "Okay, so memes?"
  "Yes! Impact font and everything." (Los Espookys, S02E03)
• "I really need you guys to fucking nail this, so that I can finally impress the Secretary of State and become the U.S. Ambassador to Miami. I can't wait. Working at a pool desk…getting into a really toxic relationship with Pitbull…taking weird meetings with conservative Latins. Oh, all the shrimp I can eat." (Los Espookys, S02E03)
• "You could do anything. You could be a nurse, a construction worker, a police officer, an operations manager." (Los Espookys, S02E03)
• "A demonstration will now begin at staircase number five." (Los Espookys, S02E03)
• "Our traditions have a lot in common."
  "Yeah, I-I've always felt that—that we share this deep…Christmas-less-ness, you know?" (Ramy, S03E01)
• "The list is Indian, China, Dominican Republic, Jew, um, and—and those people, uh, the fucking island people—Bahama?"
  "You hate people from the Bahamas?" (Ramy, S03E01)
• "Everybody watches porn. It's the Muslim drug. We don't drink. We don't do cocaine. We porn." (Ramy, S03E01)
• "'Congratulations' is not normally a Holocaust adjective." (Ramy, S03E02)
• "If it was up to me, I'd kick everyone out. Everyone can leave. Give it to Black people." (Ramy, S03E02)
• "Listen, you're in good hands. We're trained by your people. The NYPD come here every year to train us." (Ramy, S03E02)
• [♫: Bad Bunny – "La Difícil"]
  "Khalas. What is this?"
  "It's one of Obama's favorite pieces." (Ramy, S03E03)
• "'Savages' by Megan the horse." (Ramy, S03E03)
• "Let's Instacart." (Ramy, S03E03)
• "I love Lebanese people. I think they are so great in branding. I mean, look at their country. It could be a disaster, and all that people talk about is their women." (Ramy, S03E03)
• Robert Herjavec (Ramy, S03E03)
• "You're going to die. If we're only here for a while, why not make it worthwhile? Die in style, okay?" (Ramy, S03E03)
• "Let me pre-game you for Allah." (Ramy, S03E04)
• "All the best brands belong to the same company. Nestlé owns Pellegrino. Coca-Cola owns that, you know, Mexican seltzer. It's all same bubbles. Let me own you, habibi. Be my Topo Chico." (Ramy, S03E04)
• "I mean, I don't mean to judge, you fuck with no rules?"
  "I mean, a massage parlor? How— That's your rule."
  "What am I supposed to do? Go hook up with a random chick and pretend to listen to her podcast? That's like so many lies. God's like, 'Wait, you fucked out of wedlock and you didn't check out her podcast?'" (Ramy, S03E04)
• "That's crazy. The bathroom reminded you of the TV show The Office."
  "Yeah, it reminded me of that too."
  "It reminded you of The Office?"
  "Yes."
  "When you go to the bathroom, you think about The Office?"
  "Yep. Every time."
  "Such a clear connection." (Ramy, S03E04)
• "Your Latin. It sounds elevated remedial." (Ramy, S03E04)
• "You are using our complimentary version of Pandora streaming. Upgrade to premium for an ad-free experience." (Ramy, S03E04)
• French pronunciation of "Chick-fil-A" (Ramy, S03E04)
• "Do you know what type of pepper is at the base of the sauce? Cayenne, chiles of Anaheim… Feliz is quite sensitive."
  "I'm a cat." (Ramy, S03E04)
• "That's a beautiful carpet. I'll buy it."
  "That's not for sale. Yasmina got it for me. It's the first mat we prayed on together, back when she wanted to have children."
  "Hey, I can give you a child. I'll give you a child for the carpet." (Ramy, S03E04)
• "Do you agree brown cultures have emotional relationships with food? I've found that there's an emphasis in brown culture on the acceptance as food as a form of love while also a criticism of those who gain weight." (Ramy, S03E06)
• "You're smoking cigarettes? It's not good for the baby. I mean, I know you're having an abortion. But isn't it better to abort a healthy baby?" (Ramy, S03E06)
• James Badge Dale (Ramy, S03E08)
• "The Quran Is the Original Blockchain." (Ramy, S03E08)
• "And then I got this meme, Sheikh James Harden. This really makes me laugh, akhi. Halal comedy. Only engage in halal comedy." (Ramy, S03E09)
• "Like Marie Kondo. She really figured out how to deal with immigrant clutter." (Ramy, S03E10)
• "Congratulations" callback (Ramy, S03E10)
• </Ramy, S03>

39. Nonna Lina (Best in Dough, S01E01)

Honourable Mention

• Double L (Los Espookys, S02E02)

Stray Observations

• "I'm just saying, lies pile up. Like credit card debt. You retain an advantage by staying liquid." (Rick and Morty, S06E03)
• "What the hell did you do in my holodeck?! Holy shit, you did a full 'San Junipero' in here? My god, Beth, there’s masturbating and then there's masturbating." (Rick and Morty, S06E03)
• "Anyway, he's in perfect health in there and he can unroll when he chooses to but can also stay in metabolic hibernation pretty much indefinitely. It's a cool power to have, like if you have to fly coach or if Summer asks you what you thought of Wonder Woman 1984." (Rick and Morty, S06E03)
• "No, no, she's the one who did that movie at South by Southwest I told you about."
  "What was it called?"
  "Thank you, um, for having seen it. It's called Cunt Saw." (Reboot, S01E01)
• "I don't know. It might be too edgy for you."
  "You're talking to the guy who, uh, greenlit the fifth season of Handmaid's Tale."
  "So brave. So brave." (Reboot, S01E01)
• "I, I, I want more people to see the potential I had when I came out of the Yale School of Drama."
  "Oh my god, you have such a large penis, why do you always have to bring up Yale?" (Reboot, S01E01)
• ♫: Modern Baseball – "Re-Do" (Reboot, S01E01)
• "'Music cue: St. Vincent's 'Birth in Reverse.' As the camera slowly pulls back, we fade to black,' and that's our show." (Reboot, S01E02)
• "That song you wanted, that St. Margaret's, whatever the hell it's called, $80,000 for a song. Here. Here's a list of public domain songs. Pick somethin' you like."
  "'She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain.'" (Reboot, S01E02)
• ♫: "She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain" (Reboot, S01E02)
• Chicago Hope: Miami (Reboot, S01E03)
• "Just be careful wearing them [Spanx] on a date. When a man undresses you, you expand like one of those mattresses in a box." (Reboot, S01E03)
• "I heard that, too, Carrot Top. Or Carrot Bottom, I don't wanna make assumptions." (Reboot, S01E03)
• "We don't need a bunch of dinosaurs in the writers' room."
  "So funny you say that, Alan ran the last two seasons of Dinosaurs on ABC."
  "Yeah, again, 'wrote for giant puppets' is not the mic drop you think it is." (Reboot, S01E03)
• "Your vibe sucks. I walked the Trail of Tears and I smiled more than you." (Reservation Dogs, S02E09)
• B2EMO (Andor, S01E01)
• "Hurry up. Quiet down. Be silent in the presence of greatness." (Abbott Elementary, S02E01)
• "Um, yeah, I've got a killer icebreaker planned. Most infamous parties in history? Donner, Boston Tea, and, uh, this one." (Abbott Elementary, S02E01)
• "Anybody drive a beat-up sedan?"
  [everyone raises hand] (Abbott Elementary, S02E01)
• "Um, hey, don't you have, like, a guy in parking enforcement or something?"
  "No, I got a guy in enforcement, but that's like a last resort kind of call." (Abbott Elementary, S02E01)
• "Janine, what is going on? Unpaid parking tickets, landlord troubles, this outfit?" (Abbott Elementary, S02E01)
• "Everything is chaos. And we all lose." (Abbott Elementary, S02E01)
• "$20 in my hand is worth me in a bush." (Abbott Elementary, S02E01)
• "Barbara had mentioned that there were once students here who needed ADA desks, and I doubted that somebody had just thrown those away, so I asked Mr. Johnson if there was storage here. He said, 'Yeah, I forgot because I'm a custodian and not some lil' storage-ass ho.'" (Abbott Elementary, S02E01)
• "Okay, huge boobs. Congrats. Whatever." (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E06)

(Atlanta, S04E03)

• Benny and Lil Rick Moranis = Benny Blanco and Lil Dicky (Atlanta, S04E03)
• "God Saved Me From The Trap" shirt (Atlanta, S04E03)
• "But if rapping meant you made money, then Cassidy would be a fucking billionaire." (Atlanta, S04E03)
• "YWA + GRAMMYS = $$$" (Atlanta, S04E03)

(Atlanta, S04E03)

• "What is D'Angelo? We are D'Angelo. Let me experience…D'Angelo." (Atlanta, S04E03)
• Peanut butter and fried chicken skin sandwich with Lawry's Seasoned Salt (Atlanta, S04E03)
• "I'm telling you, Grammys ain't for a Black man." (Atlanta, S04E03)
• "I just remember it's not about what feels good. It's about…what survives." (Atlanta, S04E03)
• ♫: Kodak Black – "Let Me Know" (Atlanta, S04E03)
• "Uh… you OK?"
  "As OK as the classic and underperformed Rodgers and Hammerstein musical." (Little Demon, S01E06)
• "When I said I was OK as the famed Pulitzer and Tony Award-winning musical, I wasn't." (Little Demon, S01E06)

(Little Demon, S01E06)

• "But why an internship and not a job?"
  "Because there's no better way to be respected and show your value than to work for free." (Los Espookys, S02E02)
• "Never trust a white Latina." (Los Espookys, S02E02)
• "They're very sophisticated people. All of them earn points at the supermarket." (Los Espookys, S02E02)

Looking forward: