Adam Riff™

51. Soul Coughing (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E06)

Honourable Mention

• Irma eating bruschetta (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E08)
• Kate and Yelena (Hawkeye, S01E05)

Stray Observations

• "You're thinking every bit of me wants to tell this…slab of gravlax to go fuck himself." (Succession, S03E09)
• "Um… You kind of tried to kill yourself, dude, and that's not cool."
  "I fell off an inflatable." (Succession, S03E09)
• "I guess through her dad, she's, like, eighth in line for the throne of Luxembourg?"
  "Eighth in line? Greg, you marry her, you're a plane crash away from becoming Europe's weirdest king!"
  "Don't be silly."
  "Dude, you off a couple of hemophiliacs and you'll be the king of Luxembourg. You'd sound like a fancy cookie." (Succession, S03E09)
• "Dad's putting together a more adhesive and potent gloop."
  "Working on his fucking…his jism?" (Succession, S03E09)
• "I have some beef with Greenpeace." (Succession, S03E09)
• "I mean, who hasn't clipped the odd kid with a Porsche, am I right?" (Succession, S03E09)
• "I'm not sure I wanna pull out a move like that. Maybe I just stick with what I got."
  "Which is what? Hard drive full of dick pics?" (Succession, S03E09)
• "Say hello to someone who could be Logan's ex-wife's step-cousin-in-law and heir apparent to the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg. 12 times removed or some shit. And potential count of somewhere and legitimate claimant to the dormant throne of Italy."
  "What, Greg?"
  "Me and the contessa. We're hitting it off. She's having an existential crisis about her personal branding and I'm right in there to wheedle away." (Succession, S03E09)
• "Do you want a deal with the devil?"
  "Well… What am I gonna do with a soul anyways?" (Succession, S03E09)
• "What have you got in your fucking hand?"
  "What have I got? I don't know, fucking…love?
  "Love? You come for me…with love?" (Succession, S03E09)
• Succession Season Grade: B
• "I've always loved that quote from the movie Magnolia. Um, 'We may be through with the past, but the past isn't through with us.'"
  "Yeah, I didn't see that one." (Dexter, S09E06)
• "It's never good to kill the family member of a serial killer." (Dexter, S09E06)
• "The people who matter recognize Daria, okay?" (Yellowjackets, S01E05)
• "Call me when you're ready to shake Misty down for Motrin." (Yellowjackets, S01E05)
• ♫: BIA – "SKATE" (Insecure, S05E08)
• "Hi, welcome. Walk tall, be Black. Hi. Love Blackly, walk safely, okay? Ooh, and welcome to you, too. Yes, totally rad that you're here." (Insecure, S05E08)
• ♫: Vince Staples – "Are You With That?" (Insecure, S05E08)
• Ty Dolla Sign (Insecure, S05E08)
• "Wanted for armed robbery, armed battery, and stealin' medieval armor from the Excalibur." (Insecure, S05E08)
• "Yeah, I'd like the bruschetta."
  "The bruschetta, you got it."
  "I would advise against that."
  "Why?"
  "You get little bits of tomato on a piece of hard bread. They pile it up…"
  "Yeah?"
  "You take a bite it all falls, they're very structurally unsound. Can you bring an extra layer of bread for the bruschetta?"
  "That would just be a tomato sandwich." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E08)
• "Little Women?"
  "Yeah."
  "I cannot stand those March sisters. Boy, do they get on my nerves."
  "What about them gets on your nerves?"
  "The giggling all the time, making jam, getting under the blanket and cozying up with Marmee. Oh, they're all so talented in their own right. A writer, and a musician, and an artist. And one, of course, has to be an actor. Is there no creative realm these sisters can't conquer?" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E08)
• "Ooh, I got, like, a bubble here. You got any Gas-X?"
  "Leon, is there anything you have that might disperse the bubble?" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E08)
• "What the fuck, man? You're in a bad spot, Larry. Gotta tap that ass under duress? That's the worst."
  "Have you ever tapped someone under duress?"
  "Course I have. My uncle passed away unexpectedly. So, I had to tap this cougar at this mortuary. Got a half off that coffin."
  "I hope this turns out as successful as your dead uncle's coffin." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E08)
• "You like Little Women?"
  "Fucking love 'em. I stack two on top of each other, make 'em one whole women. Tap that ass." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E08)
• "I don't like anything unnatural near my lymph." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E08)
• "Come and sit beside me."
  "I'd love to except I bruised my testicle getting off the Peloton." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E08)
• "So, then I found out his name was Tannenbaum. I played the Jew card, I couldn't believe it. It worked like a charm."
  "You gotta play those fucking cards. I'm telling you, man."
  "Imagine if he was bald, what I could've done?"
  "I got a whole fucking deck of cards. I… I got the Black card, I got the handsome card, the tall card, the Big Johnson card…" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E08)
• "It feels like, as a guy who's lost a certain amount of hair, I was expected to get into woodworking." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E09)
• "Look at us. No kid deserves this." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E09)
• "Well, I got my license back, so I'm gonna go take the family for a drive."
  "Nice. Good time of year for that."
  "Yeah. It is nice. It's my favorite activity, and I'm never gonna drink and drive ever again."
  "Okay." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E09)
• Joe Pera Talks With You Season Grade: C
• Sriracha (Hawkeye, S01E05)
• "The trail of blood that follows him, it could wrap around the entire world."
  "Okay. Wow. That was very Russian." (Hawkeye, S01E05)
• Coin trick callback (Hawkeye, S01E05)
• "Do we look like Royal Tenenbaums?" (Hawkeye, S01E05)
• "It's bad enough the Mayor made us come in on L.A. Christmas Eve."
  "Christmas Eve? It's the 22nd."
  "Yeah, exactly, it's the three to seven days before Christmas when everyone leaves to go celebrate someplace human." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "♪ And it's hard as a crotch out in Sherman Oaks ♪" (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "Hey, sorry to interrupt, but can either of you think of a Christmas-y word that rhymes with 'horchata'?"
  "Not now, Jayden."
  "It's a little bent, but I'll try it." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "No, Spirit Airlines. The one time I need you to be trash, you're on time?" (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "Sorry, but I'm catching my flight to PA, and then I'm going to the Wawa where Mare of Easttown and my cousin Nico were shot." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "I want someone to make snide comments with or kiss under the mistletoe, our breath rich with Andes mints and ham." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "There's definitely an energy between you. Like, you're the two hottest people at a Rite Aid, and you know it." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "Hey, tell your boss this is like a baby saying curse words – not cute, not funny." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "Do you like this time of year?"
  "Parts of it. Pfeffernuesse, that Mariah Carey song, 'Touch My Body.'" (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "Patrick is in love with you, and now you get to do what Keira Knightley couldn't pull off back in the day, and I don't mean low-rise jeans with a bralette." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "Glad to hear it, my new friend… Oh, God, what's his name? I know it's a kind of salad. Caprese." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "He's about to guess Orly's favorite restaurant."
  "Is it Matsuhisa Aspen?"
  "Yeah, but isn't that everyone's favorite restaurant? Sorry, I hear it." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "She's a retired ballerina. Her breasts got too large to continue dancing." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "Arpi, yes, yes, run to him! Run as fast as your bone density allows!" (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "All I wanted to do was get home to my Lola, sit on her plastic-covered couch, and eat bibingka together, and this was my last chance. She's not dying, I just plan on doing keto in the new year." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "That woman thinks everything you did today was romantic because she's been brainwashed by some British people. What you did today is not romantic, it's weird. And Love Actually sounds like a deeply problematic movie. One of the stories is Bilbo Baggins shooting a porno on Christmas." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "Giving a good gift isn't about what you want. It's about what the recipient wants."
  "Of course. Oh, my God, it's like sex." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "♪ There's a fist fight at the Trader Joe's on Vine ♪" (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "♪ Grab a Pink's hot dog / Drink a twink's eggnog ♪" (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
• "I'm one wet wipe away from being your MILF." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
• "I dig it here, man. Yeah, you know, you get all the comforts of Philly. You got drunks, you got Irish people, you got, um…I guess that's the same thing." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
• "Lucky for you, I happen to have experience covering up blunt force trauma." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
• "We're into all the same shit. Um, cheese, ghouls…" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
• "Everybody was on the island that weekend. Jizzaline…" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
• "He didn't do anything with the kids, but he was really into the manatees, which, by the way, also got very sexual."
  "Frank, can you, can you just stop talking about sexual things with manatees?"
  "The following year, he doesn't show up, the manatee's all bent out of shape. I mean, this manatee was so depressed, she actually swam into a boat propeller. Boom! Blammo! Mantacide." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
• "Am I to believe that you're a natural redhead and yet there's no odor?" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
• "That's not rubbish. It's, uh, shredded documents from a sex island." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
• "Give me a chance, please. I can still be an obnoxious American mom you'd like to F!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
• "I don't trade roles for sex."
  "Oh, goddamn feminists ruin everything." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
• "The role is 'abused wife.'"
  "Is it Abused Wife Number One?" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
• "Oh, my God, I'm on a call sheet! That's my name! I can't believe this! I'm gonna be an abused wife!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
• Dee can't pour Guinness (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E06)
• Frank trying to suck a seed out of his teeth (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E06)
• "♪ And I am Frank, and I factor in somehow ♪ Aw, I shouldn't have used a screw." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E06)
• "Oh, Father, look, I-I've been S'ing and F'ing my way through life for far too long. I think it's time that I started sucking down the words of the Bible. And instead of looking for pieces of ass, I'd just look for peace." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E06)
• "I will S and F him into oblivion." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E06)
• "I'm talking to the castle."
  "You're talking to the castle?" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E06)
• "You can theorize all you want on changing events that happened in the past, but I promise you…I fuck that pangolin every single time." (South Park: Post COVID: The Return of COVID, 17 Dec 21)
• "You people need to stop trying to change the past! COVID happened. Space Jam 2 happened." (South Park: Post COVID: The Return of COVID, 17 Dec 21)
• "Oh, Jesus, like the future needs another fucking pho shop." (South Park: Post COVID: The Return of COVID, 17 Dec 21)
• "If Butters wants to pitch investments, he might go to one of those co-working coffee flex spaces. That's where his biggest targets will hang out." (South Park: Post COVID: The Return of COVID, 17 Dec 21)
• "It's the future. You can't just sell food to people. You lure your customers in with some good pancakes and french fries, and then you…fuck 'em with some NFTs!" (South Park: Post COVID: The Return of COVID, 17 Dec 21)
• "Here. It's a farting rainbow with Tom Brady's signature." (South Park: Post COVID: The Return of COVID, 17 Dec 21)
• "Jesus, I feel like an Islamic hooker in a gay bar – totally normal and as respectable as any other human being." (South Park: Post COVID: The Return of COVID, 17 Dec 21)
• "The pandemic happened and they made Space Jam 2. Soon, there will be a Space Jam 6 and 7, and 8. Like tears…in rain." (South Park: Post COVID: The Return of COVID, 17 Dec 21)
• "Kenny just won the Nobel Prize for combining dark matter and breast implants!" (South Park: Post COVID: The Return of COVID, 17 Dec 21)
• Receipt printing (Station Eleven, S01E01)
• Navy Pier (Station Eleven, S01E01)
• ♫: Bob Dylan – "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right" (Station Eleven, S01E01)
• ♫: The jam at 34:30 (Station Eleven, S01E02)
• "When mankind first looked up to the stars, mankind thought: non-linear delivery options…what are those things?" (Station Eleven, S01E03)
• ♫: Etta James – "I'd Rather Go Blind" (Station Eleven, S01E03)
• "Uh, Jay Leno is the reincarnation of Molière" (How To with John Wilson, S02E04)
• "Iguana Belts w/ Head" (How To with John Wilson, S02E04)
• "And I apologize with my whole heart, base to tip, so you have to forgive me." (MacGruber, S01E01)
• "I don't mind that you put your penis in Vicki's vagina, but put it in her heart too."
  "You got it, Mac." (MacGruber, S01E01)
• "Ain't nothing but a MacG thing." (MacGruber, S01E01)
• "There's only one person in the world who knows where Brimstone is, and his name rhymes with 'fuck you-ber.'" (MacGruber, S01E02)
• "You're tying play me like a blank CD, but we all know what happens to blank CDs – they get burned." (MacGruber, S01E02)
• "Go fuck yourself."
  "Another home run. Have you been working on these?"
  "I sure have, and I don't accept your compliment." (MacGruber, S01E02)
• "They asked him to do a suicide mission, and he RSVP'd, 'Yass, queen.'" (MacGruber, S01E02)
• "Oh, he was such a giving partner. He never wanted me to have to do any of the work. Sometimes he would even tell me to not talk so he could picture something. Probably just the two of us on a hike or swimming at the Y. We would build to this crescendo, and he would generously finish for the both of us, and then use the restroom. Be in there for a while. Then he would come, and in his best Jim Carrey voice, he would say, 'Do not go in there.' He would shake my hand, ask me to leave, and then hug me with one arm. It was pure bliss." (MacGruber, S01E02)
• "You're better than this. Be best. Be best." (MacGruber, S01E02)
• "I cannot wait to tell Queeth about it, right before I rip out his throat and take a major dump down his neck. You know what that's called, huh? An 'upper-necker.'" (MacGruber, S01E02)
• "He always wanted to pull out someone's eyes." (MacGruber, S01E02)

(MacGruber, S01E02)

• "I've been sitting around waiting for some Prince Charming when all along, my Shrek has been standing right in front of me the whole time." (MacGruber, S01E03)
• "Yeah, I'm at your 11:00. Sorry, Central Standard Time." (MacGruber, S01E04)

The New AR™TV World Drama Champion: Succession
The New AR™TV World Comedy Champion: How To with John Wilson

50. First Kiss (PEN15, S02E15)

Stray Observations

• "She says she can't live off…macaroni and memorial services."
  "Oh, wow! Poor old Eleanor Rigby wants to eat dick and drink champagne for the rest of her life instead?" (Succession, S03E08)
• "Oh, no. Scary Poppins is on maneuvers." (Succession, S03E08)
• "Maybe he's just going to Macao and he's feeling lucky." (Succession, S03E08)
• "Maybe he's trying to fuck a gaming site something with…" (Succession, S03E08)
• "Well, I'm not used to negotiating via eggplant. I'm not sure he wants the deal. He might just want a fucking moussaka." (Succession, S03E08)
• "He had a bit of bad luck with a salmon-smoking business and he lost his place in Pimlico." (Succession, S03E08)
• "Do not try to fuck Laurie." (Succession, S03E08)
• "Iverson!" (Succession, S03E08)
• "Life's not knights on horseback. It's a number on a piece of paper. It's a fight for a knife in the mud." (Succession, S03E08)
• "I'm a great revolutionary. A bit of fucking spice. Bit of fun. A bit of truth. I fucking know things about the world, or I wouldn't turn a buck. Not necessarily nice things." (Succession, S03E08)
• "I'm already so stressed, I'm jerking dust." (Succession, S03E08)
• "Is he a Twitter panty-flasher? Or is he a serious person?" (Succession, S03E08)
• "I can win any bout with a boxer fuck, but I don't know how to knock out a clown." (Succession, S03E08)
• "Have you heard of dick pics, dad?"
  "Well, we do publish a number of popular newspapers, so yes, son." (Succession, S03E08)
• "I don't want her hanging around like frozen fucking piss." (Succession, S03E08)
• Angel (Dexter, S09E05)
• "Hell, I should kill this guy just because of the wallpaper." (Dexter, S09E05)
• "I hate to break it to you, but we're not Rizzoli and Isles. I don't need you." (Yellowjackets, S01E04)
• "How 'bout you gimme some of that e pluribus anus?" (Insecure, S05E07)
• ♫: Latto – "On God" (Insecure, S05E07)
• "Derek and I might be moving to Denver."
  "Wait, what the fuck?"
  "Denver, Denver? Like the omelet?" (Insecure, S05E07)
• "You gotta be really intentional with the people you love." (Insecure, S05E07)
• "I just texted Daniel Kaluuya your address, so y'all gonna have to queen and scram."
  "'Get out' was right there, girl."
  "Bitch, shut the fuck up!" (Insecure, S05E07)
• "Non-pros, there's nothing they love more than when actors tell them what they think."
  "Wow. What a mouthful." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E07)
• "Have you ever thought about maybe running for, uh, senator, or congresswoman?"
  "Uh, no?"
  "What about a congresswoman?"
  "I don't wanna move to D.C. Too cold." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E07)
• "Dr. Frankenstein didn't fuck the monster bride."
  "How you make a woman like that and not tap it?" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E07)
• "Can't a motherfucker live a life?" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E07)
• "But that golf, that's white man problems."
  "Yeah. We have golf. You have voting." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E07)
• "He's very strong on environmental issues."
  "Really? Like what?"
  "He respects wood." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E07)
• "Well, I hate people individually, but I love mankind." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E07)
• "I tapped the lady that made the holes." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E07)
• "You're voting for Reimenschneider?"
  "Yeah."
  "Hmm. I have a proposition for you. I'm voting for Mayhew. We kinda cancel each other out. You know, this line? Why don't we get the hell outta here?"
  "I like it. Yeah." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E07)
• "Guess who came into the bar during my shift last night?"
  "The feds?"
  "No!"
  "Kim Dotcom." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E07)
• "(Not allowed to show game footage)" (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E08)
• "Oh, my God. You're… You're Archer."
  "Hawkeye."
  "Clint."
  "It's the branding issue, I'm telling you." (Hawkeye, S01E04)
• "She's awfully composed around her own idol. If I ever met Huey Lewis, I'd be a wreck." (Hawkeye, S01E04)
• "My wife gave me this bag. It's embroidered. It says 'Bombshell.'" (Hawkeye, S01E04)
• "Richie Keen, keep it clean." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E03)
• "You know, Dennis looks like Jerry Seinfeld."
  "Thanks, man. Yeah, that's kind of what I was going for."
  "Yeah. I don't like how mean they are to each other on that show." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E03)
• "Okay, I'll walk on my toes, so you can't tell I'm on skates." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E03)
• "We can legally fire her and bring in whichever man we want."
  "Oh… Okay. I see, I see where you were going with that."
  "Yeah, he's got an agenda." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E04)
• "Rumor has it that he also did a short stint making drinks for Kitty Dukakis."
  "Okay, okay. Interesting."
  "You know those were stiff." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E04)
• "'Whiskey beer island of green and fight.'" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E04)
• "I would've liked to have said a few words."
  "It's a funeral, not The Moth." (And Just Like That…, S01E02)
• Chucky (And Just Like That…, S01E02)
• "Weird Al" Yankovic – Bad Hair Day (How To with John Wilson, S02E03)
• "He's huge in parking." (How To with John Wilson, S02E03)
• Volvo casket (How To with John Wilson, S02E03)
• "Yeah, I can't—I can't even do a mile run."
  "Yeah, it's 'cause it turns into the mile walk every time." (PEN15, S02E13)
• HIM shirt (PEN15, S02E13)
• "Your knee is in my back."
  "That's my dick." (PEN15, S02E13)
• "What are you even talking about? I wipe fine, mom." (PEN15, S02E14)
• "It's a massager." (PEN15, S02E14)
• PEN15 Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Underground Railroad
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: What We Do in the Shadows

49. NX Worries (How To with John Wilson, S02E02)

Stray Observations

• Opening credits (Yellowjackets, S01E03)
• Car chase (Hawkeye, S01E03)
• Jack Owoc's house (How To with John Wilson, S02E02)

Stray Observations

• "No, it's like I've gone anti-fragile. I can—I can accommodate anything. If I start second guessing, it collapses." (Succession, S03E07)
• "Jeff, Elon…" (Succession, S03E07)
• Hudson Yards (Succession, S03E07)
• "Today is pretty fucking iconic." (Succession, S03E07)
• "This is friends only."
  "Oh. Shouldn't it be empty then?"
  "Beat me by one second." (Succession, S03E07)
• "This is my treehouse." (Succession, S03E07)
• "I shouldn't say anything. Even the look on my face is commercially sensitive." (Succession, S03E07)
• "Uh, you need anything? What can I get you?"
  "Privacy, pussy, pasta."
  "Done. Reece can help you out. Like pussy, coke, wristwatches, fucking garganelli, he's like a one-man dark web." (Succession, S03E07)
• "And we got the Tiny Wu-Tang Clan." (Succession, S03E07)
• "Hi, Connor. I'd like to offer you a complimentary cashmere sweater." (Succession, S03E07)
• "I lost a Norwegian Wool in a fusion restaurant in Vancouver." (Succession, S03E07)
• "There you are, fucking hiding from me. Like a human VPN." (Succession, S03E07)
• "You ready to crucify Billy Joel?" (Succession, S03E07)
• "And your speech kind of tees it up with a kind of ironic, 'This is the culmination of my life's journey, to be crucified to save you morons, and…'" (Succession, S03E07)
• "It's dressed in a tuxedo, nailed to a cross, singing 'Honesty' by Billy Joel?" (Succession, S03E07)
• "Uh, what about the Tiny Wu-Tang?"
  "Tell 'em they've got it all ahead of them. Yeah." (Succession, S03E07)
• "Ken had me try to call Springsteen to rescue the vibe and then that got countermanded and now I'm working on a…jetpack for him to leave through the retractable ceiling." (Succession, S03E07)

(Succession, S03E07)

• "I took the wrong drugs in the wrong order, and I can't get happy." (Succession, S03E07)
• "'The Dance of the Sugar Plum Failure.'" (Succession, S03E07)
• "I think he's just aggressive because he hates his name. I don't know. I'm new at this. Maybe I got to go empty the dog. Okay. I'll be back. Come on, Garfield." (Dexter, S09E04)
• "In Trig, you never confused your secants with your cosecants." (Yellowjackets, S01E03)
• SnackWell's (Yellowjackets, S01E03)
• ♫: Kim Wilde – "Cambodia" (Yellowjackets, S01E03)
• "Fuck them kids." (Insecure, S05E06)
• "I swear I saw somebody walkin' a coyote on my way here. White people be tryin' to make pets outta everything." (Insecure, S05E06)
• "Dr. Sebi said cow cheese is toxic. White people know." (Insecure, S05E06)
• "Why the fuck she hungry when I'm hungry?" (Insecure, S05E06)
• "I mean, you sound attractive, but you know, the telephone's very deceiving. You never know. I was once on the phone with a woman from Ticketmaster for half an hour, and I met her, and it was—it was ridiculous, it was crazy!" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E06)
• "If it were me, I wouldn't have done it. But that's because I lost chivalry, uh, after the divorce." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E06)
• "That motherfucker is F-A-T positive." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E06)
• "He don't want no fucking olives with the red–what's that red shit stuck inside the fucking olive?"
  "Pimiento?"
  "Yeah. Same shit that come out of a lady after she have a baby." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E06)
• "And I'm coming to the conclusion that the reason that I don't see patients in your office—"
  "Is because of the nature of my underwear." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E06)
• "Once your balls are dangling, it's over." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E06)
• "People like an everyman, just so you know."
  "They may like an everyman, but most every man is kind of stupid." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E06)
• "What kind of woman becomes a urologist anyway?"
  "A very bright, enterprising woman who wants to make dicks and butts better." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E06)
• "That's an act of war, the Perrier." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E06)
• "It's Sophie's choice. And you're the baby who's going." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E06)
• "Previously on fuckin' Chucky…" (Chucky, S01E08)
• "You wouldn't believe the amount of tail I get like this."
  "Fuck…"
  "Dick, too." (Chucky, S01E08)
• "Kill the twink." (Chucky, S01E08)
• "Oh, that is so gay." (Chucky, S01E08)
• Chucky Season Grade: B
• KB Toys (Hawkeye, S01E03)
• "I mean, look on the bright side. You don't have to go see Imagine Dragons."
  "I love Imagine Dragons." (Hawkeye, S01E03)
• "I'm not smashin' a '72 Challenger. Come on." (Hawkeye, S01E03)
• ♫: The Kinks – "Father Christmas" (Hawkeye, S01E03)
• "Why does nobody old know how to wear a mask?" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E01)
• "We bubbled together during the pandemic because, well, we're both essential workers at the bar."
  "Yeah, yeah. Charlie and I, we're the last tit on the hog before the asshole." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E01)
• "Get the pelts, you bitch!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E01)
• "Well, that's what makes America the greatest country in the world. When you're in need, the government comes in and bails you out."
  "Nothing made me more money than businesses I sent into bankruptcy. That's the American way." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E01)

(It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E01)

• "Yeah, well, and Frank did red-face in…"
  "It wasn't red, it was brown." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E02)
• "Happy birthday, little baby ho. I wish your ho mama – Riggs' wife – and my daughter could be here to see this, but she died. Run along and play, little bitch." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E02)
• "Marlon Brando got to jam butter up his co-star's orifice against her will and got nominated for an Oscar." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E02)
• "I don't want butter to get involved." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E02)
• "Uh-oh. What's that? This is phone." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E02)
• "Well, one of the last socially acceptable groups to villainize are entitled white women." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E02)
• "A tsunami."
  "Oh, but, you know what? Let's call it a tidal wave. That feels less racially charged. I don't want to say that all waves are Asian." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E02)

(It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E01)

• "Tidal wave! Where'd that come from?"
  "Well, no country specifically. Just an act of God, I guess."
  "No God specifically. Just the universe or whatever." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E02)
• "Guys, we have to listen to the young. Otherwise, we are doomed to have sex with only old people for the rest of our lives." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E02)
• Pokémon poster (How To with John Wilson, S02E02)
• "So, it has sort of a…a mustiness." (How To with John Wilson, S02E02)

(How To with John Wilson, S02E02)

• "What are you drinking right there?"
  "I don't know. Well, a new Mountain Dew, uh…'Rise' energy drink. I just came from the doctor, so—" (How To with John Wilson, S02E02)
• "This one's good, but my cousin got me a necklace from Claire's. Like, I get a rash from nickel. Like, that's why I only wear Swarovski." (PEN15, S02E09)
• "Hector wants to play Crash Bandicoot: Warped with her and hang out." (PEN15, S02E10)
• The Deftones White Pony shirt (PEN15, S02E12)
• "Oh, darling, you know I don't drink water with my pills. I only take sherry." (PEN15, S02E12)

(PEN15, S02E12)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Underground Railroad
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: What We Do in the Shadows

48. Rogers: The Musical (Hawkeye, S01E01)

Honourable Mention

• Architectural whirlwind of emotions (How To with John Wilson, S02E01)

Stray Observations

• "Ow, think I need to get comfy before we get it in. Let me—ooh, that is a motherfucking areola! You see the titties on that bitch?"
  "Now, what the fuck type of freaky-ass shit is this?"
  "Yo, this is a motherfuckin' mortuary, nigga." (BMF, S01E08)
• "I love you too, boo." (BMF, S01E08)
• "God damn, nigga, you hurting? You eating street meat instead of a Coney?" (BMF, S01E08)
• BMF Season Grade: C
• "Um… Some guy with an undercut just called me 'soy boy.'"
  "Oh, don't worry, Greg. It's a nice safe space where you don't have to pretend to like Hamilton." (Succession, S03E06)
• "Hey, Shiv, is it true? You at the hate-fest fest? Burning books and measuring skulls down in Nuremberg, Virginia?" (Succession, S03E06)
• "It's the Spätburgunder. Our vineyard! Oh, screw top." (Succession, S03E06)
• "So, according to Steven, my prison consultant, this is…you know, this is kind of what the food is like inside. I'm in training. How's your omelet?" (Succession, S03E06)
• "What's good is to eradicate hope. They can't get you if you got no hope." (Succession, S03E06)
• "Okay, guys! B-day! Big, big, big four-oh. How are we looking?"
  "Shit slaps!"
  "Yeah? You think? What was—what was the one I liked?"
  "Uh…'end times'?"
  "Right."
  "Weimar meets Carthage meets Dante meets AI and…antibiotic-resistant superbugs."
  "That's kinda dope, though."
  "I mean, but aren't Zadie Smith and fucking…Chuck D and Lucas Madsen gonna come
  to my antibiotics party?" (Succession, S03E06)
• "Your toilet can be a bastard?" (Succession, S03E06)
• "Just keep your trap shut. Watch."
  "All right, thank you, sir. Minimizing the Greg window." (Succession, S03E06)
• "We need one voice on this, or we could fall apart and hand it to the fuck-fuck donkey gang." (Succession, S03E06)
• "Captain of the Tampa Bay Cuckaneers." (Succession, S03E06)
• "He pisses pretty straight."
  "Pretty damn straight. I piss policy laser." (Succession, S03E06)
• "I'll borrow from anyone. And, you know…if Franco or H or Travis Bickle had a good pitch, fuck it! I'm a man for all seasons."
  "Mm-hmm. 'H'?" (Succession, S03E06)
• "Yeah. I've got some ideas for ATN, you know. Sluice out the fucking porridge and add some sriracha. Poach some of those TikTok psychos, you know? E-girls with fucking guns and Juul pods, you know? Give me some straight-shot Blacks and Latinos. No more of this fucking…pillows and bedpans, you know? We're strictly bone broth and dick pills. Deep state conspiracy hour, but with, like, a fucking wink, you know? Funny." (Succession, S03E06)
• "Blood is the body's…"
  "Truth." (Dexter, S09E03)
• "Hey, you think you're fucking funny, you small-dick anime virgin?!" (Dexter, S09E03)
• ♫: Tracy Bonham – "Mother Mother" (Yellowjackets, S01E02)
• "I'm just gonna jerk off, watch some SportsCenter before bed." (Yellowjackets, S01E02)
• "I used to sneak downstairs after everybody had gone to bed and watch The Color of Night so I could pause it on Bruce Willis' wang." (Yellowjackets, S01E02)
• "I'm sorry for your upcomin' loss." (Insecure, S05E05)
• "You look like a model."
  "Aww, thanks."
  "Sorry, she's high." (Insecure, S05E05)
• "I told you…that I slept with a student. Your secret is Waze." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E05)
• "She gave me a spoonful of Pepto-Bismol and a fucking hand job." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E05)
• "How do you know prayers don't work?"
  "Because I'm bald." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E05)
• "It's interesting because you would think that having a heart attack at a country club like this, there'd be doctors around."
  "No. Only plastic surgeon here." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E05)
• "A bald man steal umbrella!" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E05)
• "You have to have done something stupid to be in traffic." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E05)
• "His decision to not talk through the puppet, but instead re-create the title sequence of Caddyshack, was, to put it bluntly, a freakin' relief." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E05)
• "All ventriloquists are overtly Republican." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E05)
• "Modern ventriloquism is the oppression of puppets." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E05)
• "Other types of entertainment people can also be linked to particular political leanings. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that actors, for example, tend liberal, except for, of course, Ronald Reagan. Sports announcers, conservative. Magicians? Right, libertarian." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E05)
• USA Is Gifted (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E05)
• "How did you turn that guinea pig into a bowl of pico de gallo?" (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E05)
• "Are you a magician as well?"
  "Me? No, no. Uh, crowds are not my favorite and my fingers are bulky from climbing." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E05)
• "We need more women in STEM, and by that, I mean Skateboarding, Television, Esports, and Magic." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E05)
• "Have you checked your pockets recently? Is this your driver's license? Everyone give Bob a round of applause. You can go take a seat. So that just happened. I'd like to see God do that. We shouldn't need these things anyways. People should be able to drive at age 12. And what do we say about taxes, Dee Dee? 'Uh, that's theft, bitch.'" (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E05)
• "Plus, they know they can BM on anything they'd like." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E06)
• "Whoa, was that Sinbad? Not a good sign for the quality of this film." (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)

(A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)

(A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)

• "Oh, gross. It smells like a Sharpie creampied a tire." (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)
• "Who the hell were those guys?"
  "Mutant Sinbads." (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)
• "Jamie transformed this town into an Escape From New York-, Children of Men-, 13 Going on 30-type dystopia." (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)
• "Reavers, it's time to feast! We have the meats!"
  "Wait, why are you saying the tag line from Arby's? Do-do they still have Arby's in the Jingleverse?"
  "What the fuck is an Arby's? That's just what I say." (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)
• "Aah! Snowflakes, sugar plums, uh, shitty orange chocolate." (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)
• "Reavers, it's time to feast! Where's the beef?"
  "Okay, you have to know that tag line's from Wendy's. It's-it's like the most famous one." (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)
• Palpatine (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)
• "This blood tastes like Christmas." (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)
• Greg Burrito (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)
• "When was the last time you took me out for a nice dinner and a murder?" (Chucky, S01E07)
• "Aren't you a little young to have seen Bound?" (Chucky, S01E07)
• NYC Larpers (Hawkeye, S01E02)
• "Hey, look, that one's you."
  "No. That's Katniss Everdeen." (Hawkeye, S01E02)
• "It was getting very hard to find place. Now, all the warehouses are being converted into lofts, so how can I get something better?" (Hawkeye, S01E02)
• "Come on! Where is Kate Bishop?"
  "Bro, I found her." (Hawkeye, S01E02)
• "'Yeah, what—what's his dick size, though?' 'I'm curious about that, too.' It's medium." (South Side, S02E07)
• ♫: Terry Presume – "Swimming" (South Side, S02E07)
• "Can you tell me where the bathroom is, please?"
  "Uh, past the frog leg, left of the Criss Angel: Mindfreak DVDs."
  "Okay. Thanks."
  "Pee-pee only!"
  "Thanks for fitting us in, Hoodoo Man. Really appreciate that."
  "Yes, I had an unforeseen cancellation, which I saw, but you are fortunate. My readings are sacred. I had Larenz Tate come through that door just the other day."
  "Really?"
  "Yeah, he was looking for 6307 South Carpenter. That's where his brother lives. This is 6703 Carpenter, so he came in. I was like, 'I knew you would come, Larenz Tate. Your brother Lahmard has many friends who have made the same mistake.'" (South Side, S02E08)
• "You know, my daddy, uh…he still works the night shift at the helicopter factory. I don't have the resources to help him get out of that job. Every night, he's ducking and dodging blades." (South Side, S02E08)
• "No more play! No more play!"
  "Excuse me. Are they saying, 'No more play' or 'No, more play'?" (South Side, S02E08)
• "Okay, honestly, that could be anything. That could be a brick. That could be a tree. That could be a-a loose bag of garbage, like that guy, Tom Skilling, on channel, uh, WGN. He's terrible." (South Side, S02E08)
• "Hey, Bixby, call Itty Bitty Kitty Committee."
  "You have got it, my main man. Giving Kattandra a holler."
  "I got it set to ethnic." (South Side, S02E09)
• "Say less. Switching to vibrate."
  "Bixby got, Bixby got a mind of his own." (South Side, S02E09)
• "I'm putting the 15-minute break on my back, because Chicago is working its people to death."
  "Take Jamal Agin here. Black homie from the South Side. What are you? 47 years old?"
  "I'm 29 years old."
  "No. Unh-unh. You see what's happening here? Black is starting to crack." (South Side, S02E09)
• "I want to make sure that people say, 'Hey, go to Chicago. They're on break.'"
  "You definitely got the youth vote. TikTok." (South Side, S02E09)
• "You're not a police priority. Trust me, I know."
  "How come I'm not? Run my plates. I'm armed and dangerous."
  "No. Sweetie, you ain't even an all-pro fugitive."
  "Notorious for peeing on stuff." (South Side, S02E09)
• "Pizza is the opiate of the people." (South Side, S02E09)
• "Don't look at my coat."
  "Yeah, nice mink."
  "That's 11 cats." (South Side, S02E09)
• "Holy shit. It's like the five families. South Side. Mexican South Side. West Side. Gold Coast Viagra Triangle. Uh…hmm… Glasses, bow tie, pocket square. I'm gonna guess, uh, Humboldt Park. No. Wicker Park. Wicker—Park Ridge? Oak Park? Lincoln Park?"
  "No, that's the CEO of Pequod's Pizza." (South Side, S02E09)
• Chance the Rapper (South Side, S02E10)
• "I'm-a use that to become a reality mogul like Soulja Boy and Shad Moss. First, I'm-a go on A&E. 60 Days In, then after that, I'm going on Love After Lockup and Life After Lockup, then Locked Up Abroad, because, you know, I like to travel."
  "Uh-huh."
  "Then after that, Hoarders, because now I got a problem."
  "Mm."
  "And then, when it's all said and done, I think I'm-a let Iyanla fix my life." (South Side, S02E10)
• "In Air Bud, haters tried to stop a beautiful golden retriever from playing basketball, to which the referee's response was, 'Ain't no rules that say dogs can't play basketball.' So he did. And that's what we wanna do."
  "Mm. We invoke the Air Bud Rule."
  "Ma'am, I can't argue with the Air Bud Rule." (South Side, S02E10)
• ♫: Jack Red – "Homegrown" (South Side, S02E10)
• South Side Season Grade: C
• Blade Runner geisha (South Park: Post COVID, 25 Nov 21}
• "Guys, this is my wife, Yentl." (South Park: Post COVID, 25 Nov 21}
• Written by Susan Orlean (How To with John Wilson, S02E01}

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Underground Railroad
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: What We Do in the Shadows