Didn't have a dime but I always had a vision

on

I'm fascinated by this house in suburban Ohio in which a bunch of Super Smash Bros. pros/streamers/casters/content creators/enthusiasts live.

I know gamer houses exist, but this one seemingly formed organically – the Brockhampton of Smash.

Film Idea: This Is England, but with gamers instead of skinheads. Bullied youngster Shaun finds a sense of pride and family in his local Smash Bros. scene. Everything changes when the gang is joined by Combo, an older Melee purist, whose behaviour becomes increasingly toxic.

Video Game Idea: A spiritual successor to Altered Beast in which you become various creatures by donning furry costumes.

Film Idea: A furry becomes his costume – Freaky Fur-iday.

Video Game Idea: A co-op Mission: Impossible game in which players must perform disparate tasks simultaneously. Player one must chase down someone in a helicopter while player two neutralizes and interrogates someone to help players three and four locate and defuse ticking time bombs.

All of you Mario

on

There is an intersection in Cupertino with two signs on the street going north that read "no right turn on red except from right lane."

Motorists in front of me, however, only ever seem to process "no right turn on red," exasperating me and backing up traffic because, for some reason, the light only turns green, like, every five minutes, favouring the other sides of the intersection.

I want to attend a Cupertino city council meeting and scream: "WHY DO THOSE TWO SIGNS EXIST? THEY JUST CONFUSE DRIVERS! NO RIGHT TURN ON RED EXCEPT FROM RIGHT LANE IS BASIC DRIVING! WHO TURNS RIGHT ON RED FROM THE CENTRE LANE?"

Cupertino is part of the third most educated region in America.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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34. Elevated Prison Food (Who Is America?, S01E06)

Stray Observations

  • "Oh, I'm not mentally ill. I just want to ethnically cleanse all the limited edition Shopkins."
    "Well, that's crazy."
    "Oh, but can I still buy machine gun, please?"
    "Yes, you can." (Who Is America?, S01E06)
  • "Oh, girl. Lidz?"
    "I like my caps fitted."
    "That is just… Radio Shack ain't even a store no more. Rite Aid? Who… You buying groceries at Rite Aid?"
    "I buy panties there too." (Insecure, S03E02)
  • "You concubining?"
    "What? Kelli, no."
    "Not even a little bit? Touch it? Suck it? Fuck it? Just wake up and it's in your mouth?" (Insecure, S03E02)
  • "Don't look a gift horse in the dick." (Insecure, S03E02)
  • "Oh, you have braces, and they are green."
    "They match my money." (Insecure, S03E02)
  • ♫: Cousin Stizz – "Hype Me Up" (Insecure, S03E02)
  • ♫: Ill Camille – "Slip [feat. Amaru]" (Insecure, S03E02)
  • "You know, on The Critic, the writers had an omelette bar." (Alone Together, S02E08)
  • "And Wilmer Valderrama brings the ratings." (Alone Together, S02E08)
  • "I'll see myself out…unless you guys wanted to pick me up horizontally like Madonna in the 'Material Girl' video." (Alone Together, S02E08)
  • "Slap yo daddy." (Snowfall, S02E06)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Succession
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Who Is America?

Everybody would be very poor

on


The Fonz, Dennis Rodman, Dr. Drew, and Kane.

WWE Idea: SummerSlam outdoors at a festival grounds. Three rings running simultaneously. Every superstar is on the card. Viewers can switch between ring feeds. Two rings shut down before the main event.

Dating Show Idea: All of the men courting the woman are surgeons who have been featured in airline magazines.

Sketch Idea: A couple passes through Detroit in early autumn and every building is a Spirit Halloween store.

Pacific Wonderland

on

// Portland, OR

Starring…
Prince Peanut Butter as Dazed and Confused
Violet Hex as Party Girl
XO Skeleton as Josie and the Pussycats
BeElzzabub Doll as House of Yes
Marla Darling as Best in Show
Wolfgang X as Doom Generation

And many more TBA

Blade: Trinity?

I saw an Alberta (Canada) license plate in the Alberta Arts District.

I heard Portlandia's theme song in a restaurant.


Episode IV I get, but Star Trek Beyond?

Woodlawn's Green Hop claims to be the world's only rap-themed cannabis dispensary. [source]

Green Hop is a recreational cannabis dispensary featuring a new, exciting twist on the retail experience.

The 1st Historical Hip Hop dispensary in the world that offers an Art and Digital technology experience.

What?

How do people swim in the Willamette River? Yes, it's probably less polluted than the East River or the Chicago River, but never swim in a river with multiple bridges above it.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on


33. Nope (The $100,000 Pyramid, S03E08)

Stray Observations

  • Track produced by Hudson Mohawke (Who Is America?, S01E05)
  • "The invasion of Iraq was because the Rastafarian lobby, their leader, General Robert Marley, suggested that they had over, I think they developed over 45,000 buffalo soldiers, these dreadlocked Rastas, who were marching through Africa into the heart of America." (Who Is America?, S01E05)
  • "It's not… They're suggesting we should use black baby's." (Who Is America?, S01E05)


(Who Is America?, S01E05)

  • "Mackenzie Maple Donut, do not join Antifa." (Who Is America?, S01E05)
  • "Please do not put the wrong baby in the trash can." (Who Is America?, S01E05)
  • "My mouth is big enough for two of these!" (Who Is America?, S01E05)
  • Bill Bellamy (Insecure, S03E01)
  • Damn, Daniel, back at it again with the…fucking." (Insecure, S03E01)
  • "I hope it's a fun nigga driving. I want to be a Twitter story." (Insecure, S03E01)
  • "Nigga parched." (Insecure, S03E01)
  • "They only got Fruit Frenzy." (Insecure, S03E01)
  • ♫: Cautious Clay – "Cold War" (Insecure, S03E01)


(Detroiters, S02E10)

  • ♫: The Pretenders – "I'll Stand by You" (Detroiters, S02E10)
  • "In 10 years, my kid's gonna be nine, and if he's anything like me, he's gonna need braces, for his legs, 'cause his dick's so big." (Detroiters, S02E10)
  • Detroiters Season Grade: C
  • ♫: serpentwithfeet – "four ethers" (Random Acts of Flyness, S01E03)
  • ♫: Pastor T.L. Barrett and the Youth for Christ Choir – "Nobody Knows" (Random Acts of Flyness, S01E03)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Succession
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Who Is America?

I'm a lot like you were

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:

By my calculation, on August 17, 2018, this website will have consumed exactly half of my life.

And from August 17, 2018 on, this website will have consumed over half of my life.

Well, today is the day.

Half of my life devoted to Adam Riff™ – at the expense of any meaningful adulthood, perhaps.

Kinda fitting that the "over half of my life" era will begin in the company of the first people I befriended through this website.

Only about two years until its 20th anniversary.