Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on


3. Dance, Dance (Peacemaker, S01E01)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • Blockbuster card (Euphoria, S02E01)
  • ♫: 2Pac – "Hit 'Em Up" (Euphoria, S02E01)
  • "You're probably fuckin' eating that ginger's ass for fuckin' oxys." (Euphoria, S02E01)
  • "What the fuck? Are you just puttin' it in there? What are you doing? Oh, my God…okay. Jesus, that's your whole fucking crotch. Ow, that looks like it hurt, ow." (Euphoria, S02E01)
  • Martha Kelly (Euphoria, S02E01)
  • ♫: "Hypnotize" / "Back That Azz Up" / "Party Up" (Euphoria, S02E01)
  • Nate opening bottles with his teeth (Euphoria, S02E01)
  • ♫: Nate listening to Orville Peck (Euphoria, S02E01)
  • Sydney Sweeney's boobs (Euphoria, S02E01)
  • ♫: Cutting Crew – "[I Just] Died in Your Arms" (Euphoria, S02E01)
  • "On the surface, Iron Lake may seem like the idyllic snow globe town Norman Rockwell would jerk off to. But I came here because an overprivileged, cis, white boy named Matt Caldwell went hunting in the woods one day and never came back." (Dexter, S09E10)
  • ♫: Radiohead – "A Wolf at the Door" (Dexter, S09E10)
  • "We'll get through this. The world needs us." (Dexter, S09E10)
  • </Dexter, S09>
  • ♫: Seal – "Kiss From a Rose" (Yellowjackets, S01E08)
  • "Hey, that's a nice dick, Ernie." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
  • "What's confusing? He's blasting cum everywhere." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
  • "Bottom line: Your mom and I are not comfortable talking about cum with your baby brother. Load-blow convos are more appropriate, we believe, coming from an older sibling, as opposed to mommies and daddies." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
  • "Streaming services."
    "Amen!" (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
  • ♫: Heavy Young Heathens – "Come to Communion" (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
  • BJ's milk in a wine glass (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
  • "Hey, do not talk about my wife's vagina at church lunch, do you hear me?" (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
  • "So we did it Nike style, dog. We just did it, okay? We're whim babies." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
  • "Prince Eric? Who the fuck is that?"
    "The boy from The Little Mermaid."
    "The hottest guy in the entire Disney catalog."
    "It's Ariel's boyfriend, you fucking bitches."
    "Oh, lord. Y'all went down to Disney World, didn't invite any family to come to your wedding, and you didn't even get a legacy character to marry you." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
  • "Judy, I don't want to discuss the mermaid wedding." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
  • "You gotta marginalize your siblings. First-borns lead the way when parents trip." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
  • "Okay, so the hot tubs are near where the elephants hose down Noah's ark?" (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
  • "Like I'm gonna kiss that smelly ass ring that's probably been shoved up Amber's pussy."
    "Oh, it's definitely been shoved up her pussy. That's why kissing it is so very cool." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
  • "Where's the littlest son we have who's been cumming on things?" (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
  • "You have terrific tits."
    "Thanks for the cheese enchiladas." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
  • "Thaniel Block."
    "Nathaniel?"
    "Thaniel." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E02)
  • "I'm not a lesbian partner. I'm her husband, BJ." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E02)
  • "Oh, hey, do y'all know Joe Jonas?"
    "Joe Jonas from the Jonas Brothers?"
    "No, he…married to Game of Thrones?" (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E02)
  • "That's wild. Thought of the same damn thing that Joe Jonas thought at the same time." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E02)
  • ♫: Linkin Park – "One More Light" (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E02)
  • "I'm hearing this, and I'm processing it, and I'm just thinking the only way we put this to an end, daddy, is if I go seduce this man. You know, get some intel through turn-ons, hand-holds, eye contacts. Jack him off just a little bit."
    "No, what we're gonna do is zip our lips, like I said."
    "Well, I'm just gonna go on record saying I think it'd be better if Judy at least jacked this fella off than do nothing at all."
    "Daddy, I could just get him hungry." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E02)
  • "How do I look, Yellow Man?"
    "Y-you look like you're about to tell your friend not to come to school tomorrow." (Smiling Friends, S01E03)


(Smiling Friends, S01E05)

  • Century Egg (Smiling Friends, S01E05)
  • DDR (Smiling Friends, S01E07)
  • "I always wanted to be a SoundCloud artist, man." (Smiling Friends, S01E07)
  • "I actually wanted to kill Puerto Ricans." (Smiling Friends, S01E07)
  • </Smiling Friends, S01>
  • "Did you see my video that I did about softening elbows? I did it to the tune of 'Black and Yellow.' ♪ Soften elbows, soften elbows ♪" (Abbott Elementary, S01E03)
  • "Why does it say #BelieveScience, #RollTide, #BelieveAllWomen…#LockHerUp?"
    "You said you wanted eyes on it." (Abbott Elementary, S01E03)
  • "She said, 'I want a man with a bigger throat,' and then she left." (Grand Crew, S01E04)
  • Peli Motto (The Book of Boba Fett, S01E03)
  • Danny Trejo (The Book of Boba Fett, S01E03)


(The Book of Boba Fett, S01E03)

  • "Whew! Father, Son, and Kasey Musgraves over here, baby." (Next Level Chef, S01E03)
  • ♫: Elton John – "United We Stand" (Station Eleven, S01E10)
  • </Station Eleven, S01>
  • "Aquaman fucks fish?" (Peacemaker, S01E01)
  • "You're that racist superhero!"
    "No!"
    "You only kill minorities, man!"
    "I killed a fair amount of white people too!"
    "The ratio is suspect, is all I have to say!"
    "If somebody's committing a crime…"
    "Yes?"
    "…am I supposed to control what their ethnicity is?"
    "No. But you need to watch white people as closely as you watch people of color, so you see more of them committing crimes!"
    "Fine. That's, that's a good point. I will trust white people less in the future, and kill a higher percentage of 'em. Are you satisfied?" (Peacemaker, S01E01)
  • "What's the op?"
    "Domestic situation, known as Project Butterfly."
    "As I recall, you guys aren't particularly creative with the case file names. Project Starfish was a giant walkin' starfish. So, what, am I fighting a Mothra now? I am? I'm fightin' a Mothra? What the fuck do I fight a Mothra with?" (Peacemaker, S01E01)
  • "Her tits are way too big to be sugar tits. Sugar tits are, like, smaller, perkier tits. Like…yours. Uh, technically, I think you may have sugar tits too, but somehow that also feels inappropriate." (Peacemaker, S01E01)
  • "Oh, my God, could you at least take you helmet off? You're gonna get dressing all over it."
    "Dressing is easier to get off this helmet than a human lip. That's a fuckin' fact. You want to have a dressing-getting-off contest right now?" (Peacemaker, S01E01)
  • "I don't wanna come to your abortion, man." (Peacemaker, S01E01)
  • "Hey, I gotta thank you for tonight. I was having a crazy, fucked-up day, but when I was in your pussy back there, I felt, I don't know, fuckin' hope!" (Peacemaker, S01E01)
  • "Uh, we both love Cinderella."
    "Seven years, not once have you mentioned Cinderella!"
    "What? I talk about Cinderella at least once a week, Evan! You just never fucking hear me because you're always going on about Coldplay and Foster the fucking People!"
    "Oh, you're gonna put down my musical taste now? How fucking low are you?"
    "'Pumped Up Kicks,' Evan? Do you know what that song is about?" (Peacemaker, S01E02)
  • "Arrest me or get the fuck out of here, chopsticks."
    "Yeah, well, we'll be seeing you, fork!"
    "Fork? Why not spoon?"
    "Everybody in the world uses spoons."
    "I mean, spoon would've been more demeaning. Makes it like a baby thing. You know, little babies use spoons."
    "Okay, adults also use spoons, but I get it." (Peacemaker, S01E02)
  • "What? I don't even like when my balls are in somebody's mouth, okay? It gives me the wrong type of chills. And all I can think about is how long it's been since I've gotten checked for testicular cancer." (Peacemaker, S01E02)
  • "Louis C.K., how he showed people his dick. He, himself."
    "Because he's a ginger?"
    "A fucking… What?"
    "Look, hey, I'm begging you. Will you please, please just look at my crotch? Come on." (Peacemaker, S01E02)
  • Chicago VHS (Peacemaker, S01E02)
  • "Hey! Holy shit, look at that. It's a funny smiley man." (Peacemaker, S01E02)
  • ♫: Santa Cruz – "Drag Me Down" (Peacemaker, S01E02)
  • ♫: John Murphy – "Pumped Up Kicks [feat. Ralph Saenz]" (Peacemaker, S01E02)
  • "If one of them does become a friend, it should be her, because there's a bunch of rumors going around about you being racist, and, you know, frankly, it's a little embarrassing for me. As if I become a racist by osmosis, even though I mostly kill white people, so…" (Peacemaker, S01E03)
  • "Just because that's an unattractive child doesn't mean I wanna kill it." (Peacemaker, S01E03)
  • "One thing I'm in favor of, it's two chicks going at it."
    "Oh, geez."
    "What? I'm a fuckin' ally."
    "Having a lesbian haircut doesn't make you an ally."
    "You haven't seen my porn folder, 400 gigs of alliance." (Peacemaker, S01E03)
  • "It's Berenstain Bears, not Berenstein Bears." (Peacemaker, S01E03)
  • "You remind me of a shit I took last night, only Asian." (Peacemaker, S01E03)
  • "Why is it not coming off?"
    "'Cause your blades are dull as fuck, man! Why don't you maintain your torture shit?"
    (Peacemaker, S01E03)

'21 Jam Street

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:

Adam Riff™'s 2021 retrospective festivities conclude with Rhyme Variance, our mate Ben's 15th year-end audio pastiche:


cover art by our mate Jon Wilcox

  1. Rhyme Variance DJ Benny C 1:09:49

• DOWNLOAD

Aaaand the unmixed version with 19 bonus tracks at the end that Ben wanted to include but couldn't fit in:

Previously on Adam Riff™:

Our favourite songs. One per year.

Update:

JON
1. Radiohead – "The National Anthem" [2000]
2. Finch – "What It Is to Burn (Demo)" [2001]
3. Spoon – "Stay Don't Go" [2002]
4. The Mars Volta – "Take the Veil Cerpin Taxt"
5. Ratatat – "Seventeen Years"
6. The Mountain Goats – "This Year"
7. DragonForce – "Through the Fire and Flames"
8. Frank Turner – "The Real Damage"
9. The Wonder Years – "You're Not Salinger. Get Over It."
10. So Many Dynamos – "New Bones"
11. Jamie Lidell – "Your Sweet Boom"
12. M83 – "Midnight City"
13. Jai Paul – "Jasmine (Demo)"
14. CHVRCHES – "The Mother We Share"
15. CFO$ – "Worlds Apart"
16. Oneohtrix Point Never – "No Good"
17. Kanye West – "Ultralight Beam"
18. GoldLink – "Crew (feat. Brent Faiyaz and Shy Glizzy)"
19. Panic! at the Disco – "High Hopes"
20. Labrinth – "Still Don't Know My Name" [2019]
21. Bartees Strange – "Boomer" [2020]
22. Bo Burnham – "That Funny Feeling" [2021]

Jon: Not a particularly inspired choice, I know, but it's the song that stuck to me the most in 2021. The "this is fine" meme in song form.

ADAM ROBOT
1. Snapcase – "Typecast Modulator" [2000]
2. Rival Schools – "Travel by Telephone" [2001]
3. City of Caterpillar – "And You're Wondering How a Top Floor Could Replace Heaven" [2002]
4. Every Time I Die – "Ebolarama"
5. Codeseven – "All the Best Dreams"
6. Comeback Kid – "Wake the Dead"
7. Jesu – "Silver"
8. Rob Crow – "Up"
9. Russian Circles – "Campaign"
10. Coalesce – "Wild Ox Moan"
11. Deftones – "Rocket Skates"
12. Touché Amoré – "Home Away From Here"
13. Torche – "Kicking"
14. Coliseum – "Fuzzbang"
15. Violent Soho – "Covered in Chrome"
16. Baroness – "Chlorine and Wine"
17. Joyce Manor – "Last You Heard of Me"
18. Charly Bliss – "Westermarck"
19. Daughters – "The Reason They Hate Me"
20. Angel Du$t – "Want It All" [2019]
21. Higher Power – "Seamless" [2020]
22. Turnstile – "Holiday" [2021]

Adam Robot: From its opening, soft bass-plucking dropping straight into full-on, picking-up-nickels-from-the-floor-in-your-mesh-basketball-shorts riffs, this song really made me nostalgic for my younger hardcore roots.

BEN
1. Outkast – "B.O.B." [2000]
2. Gob – "I Hear You Calling" [2001]
3. Justin Timberlake – "Cry Me a River" [2002]
4. The White Stripes – "Seven Nation Army"
5. Franz Ferdinand – "Take Me Out"
6. "Trapped in the Closet" Bloc Party – "This Modern Love"
7. TV on the Radio – "Wolf Like Me"
8. UGK – "Int'l Players Anthem (I Choose You) [feat. Outkast]"
9. MGMT – "Time to Pretend"
10. Passion Pit – "The Reeling"
11. LCD Soundsystem – "Dance Yrself Clean"
12. M83 – "Midnight City"
13. Bruno Mars – "Locked Out of Heaven"
14. Daft Punk – "Get Lucky (feat. Pharrell Williams)"
15. Duke Dumont – "I Got You (feat. Jax Jones)"
16. Major Lazer × DJ Snake – "Lean On (feat. MØ)"
17. G.L.O.S.S. – "Give Violence a Chance"
18. Kendrick Lamar – "DNA."
19. Cardi B, Bad Bunny, and J Balvin – "I Like It"
20. Lil Nas X – "Old Town Road – Remix (feat. Billy Ray Cyrus)" [2019]
21. Dua Lipa – "Physical" [2020]
22. AJR – "Way Less Sad" [2021]

Ben: Built on a Simon and Garfunkel sample that was originally intended for Cardi B, my song of 2021 is an ode to feeling better than before, which is exactly what 2021 was – crappy, but less crappy than 2020.

'21 Gavage

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:

Adam Riff™'s 2021 retrospective festivities conclude with a triptych of playlists.

First, Squidz Bop, my 18th year-end audio pastiche:


cover art by our mate Jon Wilcox

  1. Great Dead Men Y: The Last Man 0:18
  2. Breath Away 24kGoldn 2:51
  3. I'm Afraid (Dawn's Song of Fears) Sara Bareilles 3:22
  4. Done With Drugs The Dirty Nil 3:29
  5. Lazarus (feat. Boj) Dave 3:24
  6. NO SURPRISE Turnstile 0:45
  7. Bashir With the Good Beard Lady Parts 2:06
  8. Yoni Pop Benjamin Earl Turner 2:54
  9. Nothing Else Matters My Morning Jacket 3:26
  10. Point and Kill (feat. Obongjayar) Little Simz 3:06
  11. Song in E Julien Baker 2:44
  12. RAPSTAR Polo G 2:46
  13. Edgar's Prayer (feat. Amy Keys) Jamie Dornan 2:26
  14. Long Distance Conjoined Twins Home Is Where 3:27
  15. fafo Zack Fox 2:38
  16. Jail Kanye West 4:57
  17. TVA Natalie Holt 2:29
  18. James Jesus Angleton Ghost of Vroom 4:03
  19. TAKING TRIPS Vince Staples 2:37
  20. I'm an Island Boy (feat. Kodiyakredd) (The Kiffness Remix) Flyysoulja 2:14
  21. Positively Clark Street Telethon 4:11
  22. Waitin' on Ya Genesis Owusu 5:44
  23. Greasy Frybread Sten Joddi 2:48
  24. Days Like These Low 5:21
  25. Tiramisu Ché 2:27
  26. Thumbs Lucy Dacus 4:25
  27. BAD SELECTION The Armed 3:45
  28. THAT'S WHAT I WANT × GOOD 4 U (Lil Nas X × Olivia Rodrigo) AnDy Wu 3:14
  29. Kriminel Mach-Hommy 2:36
  30. That Funny Feeling Bo Burnham 5:01
  31. Love You More (feat. Nate Ruess, Gunna, and Jeff Bhasker) Young Thug 3:41

A taut (for me) 1:39:07.

Aaaand a Spotify stream with just two tracks missing:

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

2. Cleveland Drops (Monday Night Football, 03 Jan 2022)

Stray Observations

  • The Joker + "You're kind of like Batman or something." (Dexter, S09E09)
  • ♫: Idles – "War" (Dexter, S09E09)
  • Misty saving Nat from relapsing (Yellowjackets, S01E08)
  • Poor litter-bearers (The Book of Boba Fett, S01E02)


(The Book of Boba Fett, S01E02)

  • "Your lives are a gesture of our civility." (The Book of Boba Fett, S01E02)
  • ♫: Karaoke Smash Mouth – "All Star" (Station Eleven, S01E08)
  • ♫: TLC – "Creep" (Station Eleven, S01E09)
  • "Excuse me, you all need to take it down a notch. It's the holidays. People are trying to die." (Search Party, S05E01)
  • Julio Torres (Search Party, S05E03)
  • "What happened, officer?"
    "Drowned."
    "But it's only four feet of water."
    "I've seen it before with pool boys. They see a dead bee and fixate on it. Next thing you know, they fall head first against the bottom. Let this be a lesson to you, huh? Let the bees float." (Search Party, S05E03)
  • ♫: Charles William – "Bulletproof Hearts" (Search Party, S05E05)
  • "We were all fascinated by her. I masturbated to her a few times." (Search Party, S05E06)
  • "And do you carry Hot Baby?"
    "Oh, the hot sauce just for babies?"
    "Are you jealous that my husband is the inventor of Hot Baby?
    "I am." (Search Party, S05E08)
  • Joe Pera (Search Party, S05E08)
  • "They're going to break the fucking glass!"
    "They can't. It's bulletproof."
    "Why would it be bulletproof?"
    "Because I'm mafia. Might as well say it." (Search Party, S05E09)
  • "Can't you kill him? Aren't you mafia or something?"
    "My role is more like the gossip." (Search Party, S05E09)
  • "Oh, before she choked on her last breath, she asked me to give you this." (Search Party, S05E09)
  • "Wait, where is Aspen?"
    "In his room. He's been up there all day playing with his abacus." (Search Party, S05E10)
  • "This woman has no brain."
    "Yes, I do!"
    "No, she's a completely brain-dead moron."
    "No, no! I'm just leggy!" (Search Party, S05E10)
  • "There's gonna be a lot of time traveling in the next few decades, and this is the safest hub for it 'cause the number one danger of time travel is ending up in the middle of a wall that got built in that spot. You don't wanna suddenly materialize in the middle of a wall." (Search Party, S05E10)
  • "Did you guys get fruit leather? Some fucking faggot has fruit leather in his bag." (Search Party, S05E10)
  • </Search Party>

Unchewed Shrimp

on

I'll be lucky to make it to Minority Report.

Shit, humanity will be lucky to make it to Minority Report.

I give humanity until Alien, though, heh.

Mike Judge overshot Idiocracy by half a millennium.

Idea: A medical drama set in Brazil in which the patient of the week is always Jair Bolsonaro.

Truss

on

THE HYPE HOUSE (NETFLIX)
Premieres Friday, January 7

Get an inside look at social media's most talked-about creator house as they navigate love, fame, and friendship while living and creating content together.

"When I grow up, I want to create content."

NEXT INFLUENCER (PARAMOUNT+)
Returns Thursday, January 13

Returns?

Season three?!

Hosted by past winner and TikTok star Owen Holt, the new season of Next Influencer follows a group of content creators who compete in a series of challenges to prove they have what it takes to become the next big influencer.

One contestant will win a prize package that includes a talent contract with ViacomCBS Gen Z studio Awesomeness.

ViacomCBS Gen Z studio head: Owen, why do you deserve to be Next Influencer?

#FOLLOWME will feature aspiring influencers as they compete in various business-themed challenges to build their follower bases.

ABC has landed Mars Wrigley as corporate integration partner, which means many of the show’s challenges will weave candy and gum products such as M&Ms, Skittles, Snickers, Starburst, Twix, Orbit, and Extra into the mix.

"The contestants will have to incorporate brand points as 'pitch points' across their social media – so the challenges will be critiqued on how well they align with the brands' messaging as they create mini video campaigns."

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

1. Grown Ups (The Real World Homecoming: Los Angeles, S02E06)

Honourable Mention

  • ♫: A Tribe Called Quest – "Excursions" (Station Eleven, S01E07)

Stray Observations

  • "You only have leverage if I am not willing to make you talk, which, in this case, means that you have no leverage at all." (Yellowjackets, S01E07)
  • "We already at $5,000."
    "What?!"
    "Five Gs, like the cell phone." (Insecure, S05E10)
  • "I don't want you to regret anything."
    "I don't." (Insecure, S05E10)
  • "This is birthday dick you deserve." (Insecure, S05E10)
  • "She's such a good mom. Dresses nice, one braid." (Insecure, S05E10)
  • ♫: Birthday songs (Insecure, S05E10)
  • "I feel like our friendships just got hard all of a sudden." (Insecure, S05E10)
  • "Now remember, birthday sex only happens once a year, so try that thing I told you about. If you black out, you did it right. If he black out, call for help." (Insecure, S05E10)
  • ♫: Kelis – "Bossy (feat. Too $hort)" (Insecure, S05E10)
  • </Insecure>
  • "You don't want to be another Sir John Gielgud, do you?" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
  • "Regal Beagle!" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
  • "I am not Stockholm tapping." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
  • "There's never been a moment of my life that I did not have total penis awareness." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
  • "It's a lot to do, just to have more than one wife."
    "Yeah. I gotta say, it's an appealing proposition, though. Because you have one, after two days, you go to number two. You get tired of two, you move on to three. By the time you're done with three, you're ready to go back to one. It's like a manager with a pitching staff." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
  • "You've heard the Tabernacle, the choir?"
    "What's more beautiful than castrated boys singing?" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
  • "That's not a hug! That's like an old-time photographer pose." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
  • Alexander Vindman (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
  • "You know what a good book title would be? China and Russia on That Bullshit." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
  • "Before you get to the gate, grab me one of those neck pillows…and two Slim Jims. They don't have 'em over there." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
  • </Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11>
  • "He wants you to pay him."
    "What? I'm the crime lord. He's supposed to pay me." (The Book of Boba Fett, S01E01)


(How To with John Wilson, S02E06)


(How To with John Wilson, S02E06)


(How To with John Wilson, S02E06)

  • </How To with John Wilson, S02>


(MacGruber, S01E06)

  • "Oh, my fucking dick!" (MacGruber, S01E06)
  • "Oh, what's so funny, huh? You think about your favorite Dilbert quote? Huh, you little fuckin' dumbass Dilbert fan?" (MacGruber, S01E06)
  • "By the way, I am a Dilbert fan." (MacGruber, S01E06)
  • "But I was wrong. 'Cause you're not a piece of fuckin' shit. You're a piece of fucking friend." (MacGruber, S01E06)
  • "That's right, MacGruber. I did it all for the nookie." (MacGruber, S01E06)
  • ♪ "Let me make it up to you, baby." ♪ (MacGruber, S01E06)
  • "So yeah, he may be hung like a butterfly, but he stings like a gnat." (MacGruber, S01E06)
  • MacGruber wiping his butt cliffhanger (MacGruber, S01E06)
  • "Tomato, 'toe-muh-toe.'" (MacGruber, S01E07)
  • "Private Fukk" (MacGruber, S01E07)
  • "Hey. Sharold."
    "Yeah?"
    "Livestrong." (MacGruber, S01E07)
  • Laurence Fishburne talking about the Architect (MacGruber, S01E07)
  • "Nice job, Piss." (MacGruber, S01E07)
  • "So we now think your father is the Architect, and we're basing that on information we got from one of your farts?"
    "Looks like someone's finally playing chess." (MacGruber, S01E08)
  • "Are you sure about this?"
    "Vicki, people lie. Buttholes don't." (MacGruber, S01E08)
  • </MacGruber, S01>

Looking forward:

The Top 10 Fight Scenes of 2021

on

Previously on Adam Riff™: The 2021 Draft


10. M.O.D.O.K. vs. Monica • Marvel's M.O.D.O.K.


9. Hutch vs. Thugs • Nobody

8. Max vs. Henchmen • Xtreme


7. Xu Wenwu vs. Ying Li • Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

6. Am vs. Karre • Star Wars: Visions

5. Omni Man vs. Guardians of the Globe • Invincible

4. Ji-woo vs. Tae-ju • My Name

3. Jean de Carrouges vs. Jacques Le Gris • The Last Duel

2. Kenshin vs. Enishi • Rurouni Kenshin: The Final

1. Cheung Sung-bong vs. Yau Kong-ngo • Raging Fire

see also:

The 2021 Draft

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:

There was an idea… To bring together a group of disparate people… To see if we could create something more…than a year-end list.

12 people select 10 things they loved from 2021 without any overlap, creating a "best of 2021" list unlike any other.

The League
Circle, triangle, star, or umbrella? / Which Loki variant are you? / Which Britney Spears song are you?

In randomly-generated snake draft order:

Russell
Umbrella / 2012 Loki / "Me Against the Music"

Ben
Triangle / Kid Loki / "Toxic"

Aaron
Circle / Classic Loki / "Stronger"

Devon
Triangle / Sylvie née Lady Loki / "Circus"

Adam
Triangle / President Loki / "Gimme More"

Molly
Star / Sylvie née Lady Loki / "Work Bitch"

Jeff
Triangle / Cyclist Loki / "I'm a Slave 4 U"

Drew
Umbrella / Alligator Loki / "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman"

Jon Y [me]
Circle / President Loki / "You Drive Me Crazy (Stop! Remix)"

Jon B
Circle / Kid Loki / "Oops!… I Did It Again"

Stan
Circle / Classic Loki / "Lucky"

Noelle
Umbrella / Kid Loki / "Overprotected"

Alright.

With the first pick in the 2021 Draft, Russell selected…


R1 • Russell
1. Squid Game
Television Series / S01 / Netflix

Ben: Am I allowed to take "MCU TV shows" as a whole?
Jon: Let me check.

Drew: Would you let someone draft "every MCU movie that came out this year"?

Jon: League says no.


R1 • Ben
2. Loki
Television Series / S01 / Disney+

Ben: There are shows I liked more, but there's no way this is making it back to me.


R1 • Aaron
3. Deathloop
Video Game / PC, PlayStation


R1 • Devon
4. Inside Job
Television Series / S01 / Netflix


R1 • Adam
5. I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson's "Karl Havoc" sketch
Television Scene / S02E01 / Netflix


R1 • Molly
6. Hacks
Television Series / S01 / HBO Max

Jeff: Damn, Deathloop already off the board.


R1 • Jeff
7. The back half of Succession S03
Television Series / E06-E09 / HBO


R1 • Drew
8. Dune: Part One
Film / Dir: Denis Villeneuve


R1 • Jon Y
9. Bo Burnham: Inside
Television Special / Dir: Bo Burnham / Netflix

Jon Y: Y'all really let Inside slip to me.


R1 • Jon B
10. The Milk Carton Kids – "New York Lonely Boy" from Girls5eva
Song | Television Series / S01E03 / Peacock

R1 • Stan
11. C'mon C'mon
Film / Dir: Mike Mills

R1 • Noelle
12. Nine Perfect Strangers
Television Series / S01 / Hulu

R2 • Noelle
13. The Harder They Fall
Film / Dir: Jeymes Samuel / Netflix


R2 • Stan
14. Reservation Dogs
Television Series / S01 / FX on Hulu

Adam: Fuckin' Stan. I should have flipped my picks.


R2 • Jon B
15. The Nice House on the Lake
Comics Series / What if the gang got together and the worst happened?

R2 • Jon Y
16. The Underground Railroad: "Chapter 9: Indiana Winter"
Television Episode / S01E09 / Amazon Prime Video / Chaos reigns on Valentine Farm

R2 • Drew
17. Fala Chen and Tony Leung's fight in the forest in Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings
Film Scene / Dir: Destin Daniel Cretton

R2 • Jeff
18. Lucy Dacus' album Home Video
Music

R2 • Molly
19. "Were you silent, or were you silencedt?"
Interview Question / Oprah with Meghan and Harry / CBS


R2 • Adam
20. Pig
Film / Dir: Michael Sarnoski


R2 • Devon
21. Boldy James and The Alchemist's album Bo Jackson
Music

R2 • Aaron
22. Mare of Easttown
Television Series / S01 / HBO

R2 • Ben
23. For All Mankind: "The Grey"
Television Episode / S02E10 / Apple TV+ / Tracy and Gordo sprint across the surface of the moon to avert a nuclear meltdown while wrapped only in duct tape

R2 • Russell
24. CM Punk and Bryan Danielson join AEW
Wrestling

R3 • Russell
25. It's a Sin
Television Series / S01 / HBO Max

R3 • Ben
26. r/HermanCainAward, and anti-vax, COVID-denying talk radio hosts dying over and over
Subreddit | Make Bereave


R3 • Aaron
27. WandaVision
Television Series / S01 / Disney+

R3 • Devon
28. The Suicide Squad
Film / Dir: James Gunn

R3 • Adam
29. Taylor Swift, intellectual property law, and due dilligence [sic] disasters
Twitter Thread


R3 • Molly
30. We Are Lady Parts
Television Series / S01 / Peacock


R3 • Jeff
31. The Beatles: Get Back
Television Special / Dir: Peter Jackson / Disney+

R3 • Drew
32. Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's swollen testicles
Tweet | Meme


R3 • Jon Y
33. Psychonauts 2's level design
Video Game / PC, Xbox


R3 • Jon B
34. Titane
Film / Dir: Julia Ducournau

R3 • Stan
35. Mythic Quest: "Backstory!"
Television Episode / S02E06 / Apple TV+ / C.W. Longbottom's origin

R3 • Noelle
36. Ted Lasso: "Beard After Hours"
Television Episode / S02E09 / Apple TV+ / One crazy night

R4 • Noelle
37. All the beautiful Blackity Blackness of Love Life S02
Television Series / HBO Max


R4 • Stan
38. Christina Ricci's manic energy in Yellowjackets
Television Performance / S01 / Showtime

Stan: I know this is early, but there is no way this is getting back to me.

R4 • Jon B
39. The story of Vader Johan from Big Mouth: "A Very Big Mouth Christmas"
Television Scene / S05E08 / Netflix

R4 • Jon Y
40. Flatbush Misdemeanors
Television Series / S01 / Showtime

R4 • Drew
41. Celebrity-endorsed fast food
Marketing Trend / The Shawn Mendes Bowl at Chipotle / The BTS Meal and Mariah Menu at McDonald's / Megan Thee Stallion Hottie Sauce at Popeyes

R4 • Jeff
42. Verstappen vs. Hamilton, and the 2021 F1 season
Sports / Auto Racing

R4 • Molly
43. The intense feeling of dread created by The White Lotus
Television Series / S01 / HBO


R4 • Adam
44. The return of over-the-top album rollouts
Music Promotion / St. Vincent / Kanye West Ye / Lil Nas X / Adele

R4 • Devon
45. Westside Gunn's album Hitler Wears Hermes 8: Side B
Music

R4 • Aaron
46. Halo Infinite
Video Game / Xbox

R4 • Ben
47. TOMPA BAY
Sports / NFL Football / Super Bowl LV / Tampa Bay Buccaneers / Tom Brady


R4 • Russell
48. Jamie Dornan's Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar and Belfast musical double-double
Film Scenes / Dir: Josh Greenbaum | Dir: Kenneth Branagh

R5 • Russell
49. It Never Ends: A Memoir with Nice Memories by Tom Scharpling
Book / A memoir of a life writing comedy amidst a lifelong struggle with mental illness

R5 • Ben
50. The History of the Atlanta Falcons
YouTube Series

R5 • Aaron
51. The Other Two S02
Television Series / HBO Max


R5 • Devon
52. Invincible
Television Series / S01 / Amazon Prime Video

R5 • Adam
53. The Ever Given getting stuck in the Suez Canal
I'm too old for this ship

R5 • Molly
54. Ben Affleck's 2021 redemption arc, peaking with the triumphant return of Bennifer
Back Baby Back


R5 • Jeff
55. Olivia Rodrigo
Musical Artist


R5 • Drew
56. Ziwe
Television Series / S01 / Showtime


R5 • Jon Y
57. The voice cast for Illumination's Mario movie
He's so cool

R5 • Jon B
58. The Lady and the Dale
Television Series / S01 / HBO / Profile of car entrepreneur, lifelong scammer, and trans pioneer Elizabeth Carmichael

R5 • Stan
59. The Power of the Dog
Film / Dir: Jane Campion / Netflix


R5 • Noelle
60. "Damn!" – Kevin Hart's reaction to Don Cheadle's age
Television Moment / Hart to Heart / S01E02 / Peacock

R6 • Noelle
61. Joshua Bassett coming out of the closet a week before Olivia Rodrigo released Sour

Jon Y: Duplicate pick. Select again.

R6 • Noelle
61. "Double homicide…"
Television Moment / Joseline's Cabaret: Atlanta / S01E01 / Zeus

Jon Y: Do you want the meme or the curse? Because the meme is from 2020.
Stan: Shit, I wanted the meme. I saw it on the big board and didn't check.

R6 • Stan
62. Nick Castellanos home run

R6 • Stan
62. Jeopardy! fails to make one (1) hire
Drop the Mike

R6 • Jon B
63. Tricking Rick Mitchell into Kissing the Dog Across the Country!
Film Scene / The Mitchells vs. the Machines / Dir: Michael Rianda, Jeff Rowe / Netflix

R6 • Jon Y
64. The Twitter thread about dating inspired by Dell and Sonya Curry's divorce
They pegging out here…


R6 • Drew
65. Selling Sunset's Christine Quinn, the supervillain the streaming era deserves
Television Character / S04 / Netflix

R6 • Jeff
66. No Sudden Move
Film / Dir: Steven Soderbergh / HBO Max / A document theft in 1954 Detroit grows increasingly tricky

R6 • Molly
67. Anything for Selena
Podcast Series / A quest to understand how Selena Quintanilla has become a potent symbol for tensions around race, class, and body politics in the United States


R6 • Adam
68. The hyper-capitalization of everything and questionable ethics of digital ownership via NFTs
Planet of the Bored Apes

Devon: My next pick is this ENTIRE THREAD lol.
Jon Y: Sorry…
Devon: NO WAY YOU TOOK THAT THREAD.

R6 • Devon
69. Guilty Gear Strive
Video Game / PC, PlayStation


R6 • Aaron
70. Metroid Dread (finally!)
Video Game / Switch

R6 • Ben
71. AJR – "Way Less Sad"
Song / OK Orchestra LP

R6 • Russell
72. The Jenkins and Jones Podcast: "The Wild Boy Power Rankings of Bishop Sycamore High School"
Podcast / E189

Russell: I was going to take the Dell Curry single life thread, but I was too late.

R7 • Russell
73. The Milk Crate Challenge, and the pursuit of viral infamy
Meme

R7 • Ben
74. Burna Boy – "Kilometre"
Song

Ben: I would pick "Saweetie's 2021," but Drew swiped her at 41.

R7 • Aaron
75. Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy being good
Video Game / PC, PlayStation, Switch, Xbox


R7 • Devon
76. Batman going down on Catwoman
Debate | Television Moment That Wasn't / Harley Quinn / S03 / HBO Max

R7 • Adam
77. Ten Year Old Tom
Television Series / S01 / HBO Max / Ill-fated misadventures of a remarkably average kid

Adam: Jon Bell was saving this for last. Ha. Fuck you, Jon Bell.

R7 • Molly
78. Rose Matafeo being insanely delightful in Starstruck
Television Performance / S01 / HBO Max

Molly: I was worried I was saving her for too late.

R7 • Jeff
79. The launch of Nextlander following Brad, Alex, and Vinny's departure from Giant Bomb
Video Game Media Empire

R7 • Drew
80. Jazmine Sullivan's album Heaux Tales
Music


R7 • Jon Y
81. Beyond the Infinite Two Minutes
Film / Dir: Junta Yamaguchi

R7 • Jon B
82. Ultramega
Comics Series / A cosmic plague has spread, transforming everyday people into violent, monstrous kaiju

Adam: God damn it. Jon Bell picked my next pick. He picked BOTH comics I wanted.

R7 • Stan
83.

R7 • Noelle
84. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
Television Series / S01, S02 / Bravo

Drew: Damn, a steal of a pick. Right up there with Jen Shah's assistant sneaking that purse out of Meredith's boutique. Grand larceny!

R8 • Noelle
85. WizKid – "Essence (feat. Tems)"
Song / Made in Lagos LP


R8 • Stan
86. Licorice Pizza
Film / Dir: Paul Thomas Anderson

Jon Y: Fuck! I gambled on drafting this at 88 and lost.
Stan: I was only able to see it because I'm on a last minute work trip to New York.
Jon Y: [shakes fist at Stan's employer]

R8 • Jon B
87. Stern's Godzilla pinball machine
Mechagodzilla

R8 • Jon Y
88. "Death in the Family": Hitman III's murder mystery mission
Video Game / PC, PlayStation, Switch, Xbox

R8 • Drew
89. Hailee Steinfeld as Kate Bishop in Hawkeye, capping off a banner year for famous part-Filipinos
Television Performance / S01 / Disney+ | H.E.R. wins an Oscar / The Saweetie Meal at McDonald's / Silk Sonic

R8 • Jeff
90. Home Is Where's album I Became Birds
Music

R8 • Molly
91. A Little Devil in America: Notes in Praise of Black Performance by Hanif Abdurraqib
Book / A reflection on how Black performance is inextricably woven into the fabric of American culture

R8 • Adam
92. The Six Sidekicks of Trigger Keaton
Comics Series / The world's most unlikable action star has been found dead, and his previous television sidekicks are looking to solve the mystery

Adam: Jon Bell was going to pick this. I'm glad I got it because that's too many comics for one man.

R8 • Devon
93. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 1+2
Video Game / PC, PlayStation, Switch, Xbox

R8 • Aaron
94. And Just Like That…, and Peleton's ad in response
Television Series / S01, S01E01 / HBO Max | Viral Marketing


R8 • Ben
95. The Savannah Bananas making baseball fun again
Sports / CPL Baseball


R8 • Russell
96. Will Smith's mid-life crisis
Wild Wild West Philadelphian | Television Series / Welcome to Earth / S01 / Disney+

R9 • Russell
97. Meet the Richardsons S02
Television Series / Dave

R9 • Ben
98. Doom Patrol S03
Television Series / HBO Max

R9 • Aaron
99. Search Party S04, and its gonzo finale
Television Series | Television Episode / S04E10 / HBO Max / Dory witnesses her own funeral

R9 • Devon
100. Marvel's M.O.D.O.K.
Television Series / S01 / Hulu

R9 • Adam
101. Trey Parker and Matt Stone's $935 million South Park deal with ViacomCBS
Muchas Casas Bonitas

R9 • Molly
102. The Sex Lives of College Girls
Television Series / S01 / HBO Max / Four freshman roommates discover (or reinvent) themselves

R9 • Jeff
103. The NBA playoffs, and a new generation of superstars making the leap
Sports / Basketball / Giannis Antetokounmpo / Devin Booker / Trae Young

Drew: Castellanos was more like 2020, right?
Jon: Yup.

R9 • Drew
104. The surreal, ever-evolving debacle that is Ben Simmons' standing with the Philadelphia 76ers
Sports / NBA Basketball

R9 • Jon Y
105. John Cena apologizing for calling Taiwan a country
Film PR / F9: The Fast Saga / Dir: Justin Lin

Adam: Ah, you gotta be kidding. "Celebrities apologizing to Israel and China" was gonna be my next pick.


R9 • Jon B
106. What's the Furthest Place From Here?
Comics Series / A post-apocalyptic coming-of-age story about the things that matter most – your survival, your loved ones, and your record collection

R9 • Stan
107. Angel Olsen's 1980s cover EP Aisles
Music


R9 • Noelle
108. Regé-Jean Page's meteoric rise to stardom off of Elizabethan mommy porn
Television Series / Bridgerton / S01 / Netflix

Final Round Wild Card Pick
Along with your final pick, please select something from 2021 that you have yet to experience as of 15 December 2021 but are keen on.


R10 • Noelle
109. Zola
Film / Dir: Janicza Bravo

+ Don't Look Up
Film / Dir: Adam McKay / Netflix

R10 • Stan
110. Courtney Barnett's album Things Take Time, Take Time
Music

+ The Worst Person in the World
Film / Dir: Joachim Trier

R10 • Jon B
111. Friend of the Devil: A Reckless Book
Graphic Novel / When a missing woman shows up in the background of an old B-movie, troublemaker-for-hire Ethan Reckless is drawn into Hollywood's secret occult underbelly

+ Red Rocket
Film / Dir: Sean Baker


R10 • Jon Y
112. It Takes Two
Video Game / PC, PlayStation, Xbox

+ Spider-Man: No Way Home
Film / Dir: Jon Watts

Jon Y: Y'all really let No Way Home slip to me.

R10 • Drew
113. AITA for "perpetuating ethnic stereotypes" about Jorts?
Reddit Post

+ The Witcher S02
Television Series / Netflix


R10 • Jeff
114. Wet Leg, and the "2005 blog buzz" atmosphere around their breakout
Music Band

+ The Matrix Resurrections
Film / Dir: Lana Wachowski

R10 • Molly
115. "Father, son, and House of Gucci."
Film Quote / House of Gucci / Dir: Ridley Scott

+ The Tragedy of Macbeth
Film / Dir: Joel Coen / Apple TV+

R10 • Adam
116. Sellout: The Major-Label Feeding Frenzy That Swept Punk, Emo, and Hardcore (1994–2007) by Dan Ozzi
Book / The stories of 11 bands and their major label debut albums

+ The Book of Boba Fett
Television Series / S01 / Disney+


R10 • Devon
117. Venom: Let There Be Carnage
Film / Dir: Andy Serkis

+ Boldy James and The Alchemist's album Super Tecmo Bo
Music

R10 • Aaron
118. Resident Evil Village, and its tall vampire lady who made the internet horny
Video Game / PC, PlayStation, Xbox

+ Cobra Kai S04
Television Series / Netflix

R10 • Ben
119. Zoom Cat Lawyer
Viral Video

+ Midnight Mass
Television Series / S01 / Netflix

R10 • Russell
120. Cinnamon Toast Shrimp Tails
You tellin' me…

+ Chillin Island
Television Series / S01 / HBO

Jon Y: Jensen Karp: Mr. Irrelevant. Milkshake Ducked into oblivion.

20 HBO/HBO Max series/films!

Jeff: Picking Matrix for my wild card over Station Eleven might be my biggest miss in the history of the draft.

Undrafted!
Arcane
Crying in H Mart
Doja Cat
Drive My Car
Eve Fartlow
Framing Britney Spears
Logan Paul vs. Floyd Mayweather
Lupin
The Many Saints of Newark
Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl
Omori
Only Murders in the Building
Pokémon Unite
Polo G
r/WallStreetBets and GameStop
SNL Hosts Introducing the Musical Guest
Star Wars: Visions
Steve Burns' Blue's Clues video
The Super League
Turnstile
Yassification
Zack Snyder's Justice League

Click to view the draft by team.