Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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47. Cole World (NXT TakeOver: WarGames, 11-23-19)

Stray Observations

  • Michael Imperioli (Watchmen, S01E05)
  • "I'm FBI. We bug shit." (Watchmen, S01E05)
  • Pale Horse : Schindler's List (Watchmen, S01E05)
  • ♫: "Careless Whisper"s (Watchmen, S01E05)
  • "Get out of my she-shed." (Shameless, S10E02)
  • "Power is just an asshole stuffed with money." (Mr. Robot, S04E07)
  • "Behind every great fortune, there lies a great crime." (Mr. Robot, S04E07)
  • "What in the hell are you doing?"
    "Parenting."
    "That's not how I did it."
    "Yeah, where's your daughter?"
    "Ah, you're right. She joined ISIS." (Rick and Morty, S04E02)
  • "The California African American Museum?"
    "I have a plaque at the plaza."
    "A plaque in the plaza?"
    "Right between George Lucas' wife and Robert De Niro's wife." (Black-ish, S06E08)
  • "No, we're both fans of Black art."
    "Oh. So am I."
    "Word?"
    "Yeah. Airbrushed pictures of dead rappers, Maya Angelou quotes on plywood in pretty fonts, oil paintings of naked women in afros posing with various big cats." (Black-ish, S06E08)
  • "And I said, 'Well, in this house, your name is O'Shea Jackson, and no, you cannot have another soda.'" (Black-ish, S06E08)
  • "Yeah, but Keri Russell works all the time."
    "Now does she still play women?" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E09)
  • ♫: The Shining theme (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E10)
  • "My elbows are massive and you have no tits!"
    "Your elbows suck!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E10)
  • "I've been warning you about your lack of elbow mass for weeks." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E10)
  • "I created a great little diversion. I told this one dad that another dad said that his kid had a tight little dumper." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E10)
  • "You want to be a ghost? Like the fart of meals past?" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E10)
  • Fake-out ending (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E10)
  • It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Succession
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

I Want Nothing

on

The Maury Game: You are Not The Father
by Mattel Games

A paternity test has been performed, and the results lie in each player's Test Results envelope.

Play your cards right to increase your odds of innocence and revel in hysterical banter along the way!

An "argument" starts when an action card is played – each one reflects a phrase straight from the show.

Counter your opponent's argument with an even more outrageous claim to steal the round, gain Audience Popularity and lessen your odds of paternity by adding Not the Father cards to your Test Results envelope.

This tension-filled board game ends when a card is pulled from each player's envelope.

Only one will be the father – don't let it be you!

Seems complicated.

I would go the other direction: Werewolf/Mafia with one werewolf/mafioso (the father), one detective (the polygraphist), and one traitor (the DNA tester). Instead of killing townspeople, the father impregnates them away.

related:

Divine power is seeking my undivided attention

on

It's 2019. How do airport gate area seats not all have power sockets?

At least airports have seemingly all gotten on board with free unlimited wifi.

According to research by AtYourGate, 60% of travelers want to make a purchase at the airport but don't end up doing so due to lack of time. That's why the company created its in-airport delivery app.

I suppose if an appealing eatery is in another terminal…

The airplane boarding process would be less chaotic if passengers were required to check all non-carry-on bags.

Similarly, if no one likes being reclined upon, why do we allow seats in coach to recline at all?

Get KCP

on

Edible.com… When did Edible Arrangements re-brand?

They're leaving money on the table by not selling arrangements of marijuana edibles.

Oh!

CBD, because of course.

What products contain Edibles™ Hemp CBD?

Currently, Edibles™ Hemp CBD can be infused with our fresh fruit smoothies and chocolate dipped fruit, but that's only the beginning. We intend to expand our CBD offerings to many other creations in the near future.

[googles "sweetgreen cbd"]

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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46. Eat Shit, Bob (Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, 11-10-19)

Stray Observations

  • "You know he was a racist?"
    "He was a white man in Oklahoma." (Watchmen, S01E04)
  • Lube Man (Watchmen, S01E04)
  • Adrian Veidt pulling cloned fetuses out of a river so he can age them rapidly to adulthood and get them to help catapult their murdered clones into the sky (Watchmen, S01E04)
  • "Hey, uh, do me a favour, would ya? Rip my ass wax. I can't reach back there with my arthritis." (Shameless, S10E01)
  • "And then I fucked over…World Poker Tour there." (Silicon Valley, S06E03)
  • "He was an inferior Rick. He was too political. I want to have fun, classic, Rick and Morty adventures like in the old days." (Rick and Morty, S04E01)
  • "Stop asking questions. Stop doing meta-commentary. Just have fun. We're going on a simple, fun, classic adventure."
    "Okay, you know what? It would really help if you could just say anything other than what you don't want."
    "I like Mr. Meeseeks." (Rick and Morty, S04E01)
  • "It's what bullies call a 'fait accompli.'" (Rick and Morty, S04E01)
  • "Oh, real nice, Rick. Turning our son into an Akira?" (Rick and Morty, S04E01)
  • Horatio Sanz (The Mandalorian, S01E01)
  • Brian Posehn (The Mandalorian, S01E01)
  • Baby Yoda (The Mandalorian, S01E01)
  • Macho Man (South Park, S23E07)
  • "Did Judd Nelson ever get his Oscar?" (American Horror Story, S09E09)
  • American Horror Story Season Grade: D
  • "I'd kill myself too if I had that clown's name."
    "You literally have the name of a clown." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E08)
  • "No, my name's an homage."
    "It's an homage to a hamburger clown." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E08)
  • "Bam. You're glue." (The Good Place, S04E08)
  • "I should be able to bring in random bad people. Call up Elizabeth Holmes. No, Henry Kissinger. No, PewDiePie." (The Good Place, S04E08)
  • "And if I'm wrong, I'll be the first to say 'we're glue.'" (The Good Place, S04E08)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Succession
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Maclunkey

on

Idea: Sean Evans interviews celebrities while they smoke various menthol Wings Menthol cigarettes.

Idea: Nardwuar interviews Sean Evans. "What can you say about this Instagram photo?"

Idea: Jerry Seinfeld interviews celebrities while they drink increasingly hotter cups of coffee.

Idea: Jerry Seinfeld and celebrity dogs sing along to songs while driving around in increasingly hotter cars.

Idea: Kayfabe Zach Galifianakis interviews kayfabe Eric Andre.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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45. Runaway (Mr. Robot, S04E05)

Stray Observations

  • "Is it the 1980s, Petey?"
    "Uh, mm-mm, no sir."
    "Then who gives a shit about Rorschach?" (Watchmen, S01E03)


(Watchmen, S01E03)

  • "And where does God go when he dies? He goes to Hell." (Watchmen, S01E03)
  • "You've probably read half of Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon, and it's about 50/50 whether you own a snake." (Silicon Valley, S06E02)
  • "I was state-raised! You think I'm scared to catch a case of some bullshit?!" (Silicon Valley, S06E02)
  • Young M.A (Mr. Robot, S04E05)


(Mr. Robot, S04E05)

  • "Season finale" (South Park, S23E06)
  • "We're trying to listen to Creedence!" (American Horror Story, S09E08)
  • "Kajagoogoo is dead!" (American Horror Story, S09E08)
  • "No one is going to miss Kaja-fucking-googoo and their one hit single." (American Horror Story, S09E08)
  • "The '80s are over. People don't even do coke anymore. Eh, fashion is boring. Lots of flannel. Oh, and good luck finding an aerobics class. I love you, Montana. You're '80s forever." (American Horror Story, S09E08)
  • ♫: "Eye of the Tiger" (American Horror Story, S09E08)
  • "We do nothing, and we hope that our early successes make up for the embarrassing mess we've become, like Facebook or America." (The Good Place, S04E07)
  • "Now, this is a Rolex. It's the exact same watch Richie Sambora wears." (The Good Place, S04E07)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Succession
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

My Christian heart cannot withstand the thundering arena

on

Collect the most properties, property sets, and railroad blocks before the tower crashes!

Greedy Jenga.

But players have to do this wearing a mouthpiece that makes it really hard to understand what they're saying.

Handicapped Taboo.

Players take turns knocking out plastic candies from the bottom row of the Connect 4 frame. Each time one gets knocked out, a new disc must be placed in one of the slots at the top of the frame. The plastic candy tokens keep moving out and dropping down as players try to get sets of 2, 3, or 4 candies adjacent to each other on the bottom row, or vertically up from the bottom.

Analog Candy Crush?

Players try to guess the suspect, murder weapon, and scene of the crime by asking yes or no questions about their opponent's cards in the grid.

Basic Clue.

The designated judge spins the spinner and calls out a challenge based on where it lands, and then chooses a starting letter. Then the twisting, shouting, and laughing begins! Players place their hands and feet on the mat to make a word. Then depending on where the spinner has landed, they try to be the first to shout out, spell out, or use the word in a sentence to win the round.

Should've swapped Jenga and Twister – Monopoly Twister and Scrabble Jenga.

Monopoly Twister: Mat of jumbled Monopoly properties. Spinner determines a body part, which you can place on any open property. Claim the most property sets before you collapse.

Scrabble Jenga: Scrabble tiles as Jenga blocks. Spell out words with blocks you remove. Highest word score when the tower crashes wins.